Discussion Tavern: Sleeping Giant

[Kutshort Yes]

I'm back! ...And I feel like we might be further away from a consensus now? Or closer? Maybe both? At the same time??

I'm confused!

My vote is I disengage from the party and climb the chimney using my groot ability, so long as I can enter the room around the time we know whether your plan works or not. This way, if it doesn’t, I’m behind him and can sneak attack for extra damage

 

[TD]

I think basically T'anks and Dude are going in.

Dragmire is gonna wait to blast the water thing if we need to get out and try to trap Klarg with it.

Kutshort has changed ideas a few times but seems to want to pursue the chimney.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

So then Hopper and Sildar would come with T'anks and Dude, but hang back a bit? Since presumably Hopper can't climb the chimney.

I see no possible way this will blow up in our faces! Let's do this.

 

[TD]

In other words...

It's so batshit crazy it'll either be a glorious victory or a hilarious demise.

 

[TD]

So then Hopper and Sildar would come with T'anks and Dude, but hang back a bit? Since presumably Hopper can't climb the chimney.

They could also both hang with Dragmire to wait for us and lie in ambush. Or something.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

They could also both hang with Dragmire to wait for us and lie in ambush. Or something.

That’s what I thought they would do, but two of them are NPC

 

[TD]

True I guess in theory Vash decides what they do. lol

 

[TD]

I'm morbidly curious and morbidly scared of what Dude is about to get himself into walking into there with T'anks.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

True I guess in theory Vash decides what they do. lol

I need to practice grooting in case Vash lets me climb the chimney

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

...Works for me!

Vash, meanwhile, is watching this train wreck and just shaking his head in abject horror.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

I'm morbidly curious and morbidly scared of what Dude is about to get himself into walking into there with T'anks.

“hello my love, tonight we dine on Tortle soup”

 

[TD]

“hello my love, tonight we dine on Tortle soup”

 

[TD]

If we want we can put our actions in and then if Vash says something can't be a thing we pivot.

Yes?

 

[TD]

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

 

[TD]

I see no holes in this plan.

Nope, not one.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

And for the record.

If there's more than Klarg and Gobbin inside the chamber.

It's definitely TD's fault for posting that one image.

 

[TD]

Hey hey hey hey.

Don't you put this on me.

T'anks can talk us out of it with her goblin love.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Hey hey hey hey.

Don't you put this on me.

T'anks can talk us out of it with her goblin love.

Maybe we give them some privacy for a short or long rest

 

[Dragmire]

There are like four completely separate plans all happening at the same time here lmfao

 

[VashTheStampede]

Oh this is a fun situation.

Too bad I have work in the morning!

See y'all tomorrow afternoon!

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Translation: I have no fucking idea what you people are doing and need one full business day to sort it out and figure out how to make the map large enough to account for this many surprise Goblins.


Good night, Vash!

 

[TD]

Maybe we give them some privacy for a short or long rest

And then Dude will ______.

Next time on the Lost Mines.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

There are like four completely separate plans all happening at the same time here lmfao

Well really it is T’anks’ plan and the rest of us don’t trust it to work.

Dude is following her into the chamber
I’m trying to block off Klarg’s escape hatch, and you are planning a trap for him if he leaves his room

 

[TD]

There might be a slight chance there is more to it than that for Dude.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

There might be a slight chance there is more to it than that for Dude.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Well really it is T’anks’ plan and the rest of us don’t trust it to work.

What kind of Cupid talk is this?!

Look just because she told him he was evil and walked out on him and the kids, doesn't mean he won't just take her back, bow to all of her whims, turn over a completely new leaf, get a respectable job and stop doing evil things. So she can then proceed to fuck off on an adventure fraught with danger with four men and a wolf.

It happens all the time!

 

[TD]

...

 

[Kutshort Yes]

What kind of Cupid talk is this?!

Look just because she told him he was evil and walked out on him and the kids, doesn't mean he won't just take her back, bow to all of her whims, turn over a completely new leaf, get a respectable job and stop doing evil things. So she can then proceed to fuck off on an adventure fraught with danger with four men and a wolf.

It happens all the time!

I was the ONLY good Cupid this forum has seen (cupidon is a cupidon not a Cupid), give me some credit

 

[TD]

All I heard was T'anks has goblin babies so now Dude is probably gonna have to murder those goblin babies.

Which surely will not lead to any feelings of resentment toward Dude at all for T'anks.

 

[TD]

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Well... technically they would be Bugbear babies. So, Dude's Goblism doesn't necessarily have to apply to them!

Spoiler

Moms 'R' Tough

I don't think T'anks would be the kind of person to leave her children, so she probably doesn't have any. Although at this point I am technically at the mercy of Vash's wild imagination and whatever the campaign book says...

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

...Looking low... critical failure seeing the moves of an enemy...

I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING

 

[TD]

Well... technically they would be Bugbear babies. So, Dude's Goblism doesn't necessarily have to apply to them!

...Looking low... critical failure seeing the moves of an enemy...

I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING

...do you? I'm keeping my sword low, not looking low!

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

...do you? I'm keeping my sword low, not looking low!

You're also standing next to her, so that would be impressive.

Spoiler

It's a Wallmaster, we're gonna diiie

 

[TD]

You're also standing next to her, so that would be impressive.

He's obviously using his other hand so he doesn't accidentally stab T'anks.

Spoiler

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

He's obviously using his other hand so he doesn't accidentally stab T'anks.

...Okay now I'm confused.

Wait, do you know what a Wallmaster is but not a Like-Like?

 

[TD]

Okay now I'm confused.

Don't worry I was confused already.

Wait, do you know what a Wallmaster is but not a Like-Like?

...yes?

Is that strange?

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

It's almost midnight on Saturday, confusion is just how we roll.

And Wallmasters are one of the scariest fucking things ever, so... no I guess that's pretty accurate. But still not sure how you didn't know about the Like-Like name!

 

[TD]

It's almost midnight on Saturday, confusion is just how we roll.

Yes, this is exclusively why.

Nothing else is contributing to my confusion.

And Wallmasters are one of the scariest fucking things ever, so... no I guess that's pretty accurate.

...they are.

Elden Ring stealing them and ramping them up to 100 is terrifying too.

But still not sure how you didn't know about the Like-Like name!

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Yes, this is exclusively why.

Nothing else is contributing to my confusion.

...Yes. Exactly!

The fact that I can't tell which of the six or so thoughts in my head is the correct one is proof of this. That's how it works, right?

Elden Ring stealing them and ramping them up to 100 is terrifying too.

DON'T TELL ME THAT

What the fuuuck, Fromsoft.

 

[TD]

The fact that I can't tell which of the six or so thoughts in my head is the correct one is proof of this. That's how it works, right?

...I certainly hope so because... yup.

DON'T TELL ME THAT

What the fuuuck, Fromsoft.

You could finally play and find out.

Or click below at your own risk.

Spoiler

And with that I bid you goodnight.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Good night, he says... he posts a giant hand-spider and says good night?! What have I done within the last week 2 minutes to deserve this fate?!

Hah, that's... not as awfu-looking as I figured. I'm sure it's worse in action.

Have a good night!

 

[TD]

...definitely worse in action.

I wonder if there's a D&D equivalent.

 

[VashTheStampede]

As Dude walks alongside T'anks, he keeps his sword low and intends to watch Klarg's body language for signs of attack.

As they entered, Klarg is standing in his little kitchenette, a little waist apron tied around him.

"Oh hey guys one of the goblins told me you were here so I made some scrambled eggs."

Dude: HE HAS A GUN! STOP RESISTING!

*blamblamblam*

 

[Kutshort Yes]

 

[TD]

 

[TD]

 

[TD]

And for what? Him?! A MAN TURTLE?!" Klarg's eyes dart suspiciously towards Tortle Dude, misinterpreting the nature of their relationship and letting his jealousy flare...

Shit... that's not scrambled eggs.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK IS THAT THING HOLY SHIT

...Also we're going to die. It was nice knowing y'all.