Discussion Tavern: Sleeping Giant

[Cookie Sweetmead]

Okay but in the interest of trying to actually make this end of chapter happen in timely fashion:

Raine used Persuasion on @Dungeon Master
T'anks has informed me that, as a demonic bestial creature, she wishes to occasionally behave like one. She says that her beautifully maintained claws, sharp teeth and majestic argali horns are very much not being properly utilized and none really fit the mold of a 1 damage Unarmed Strike. She implores the gracious and most generous Dungeon Master to bequeath unto her new forms of wanton destruction, balanced appropriately, for:

1) Clawing the fuck out of idiots.
2) Repeatedly headbutting creatures and objects that annoy her.
3) Rending flesh from bone (and maybe through bone, she's not picky) with horrific biting.
4) And, because she's some sort of sheep/ram demon creature at minimum, the ability to ram something with her very hard horns. Possibly with a knockback because she's not sure how effective ramming something but then moving back 5 feet actually is as an attack.

Sounds like you want to be a monk

 

[Cookie Sweetmead]

 

[TD]

I guess we know what T'anks will take at her first multiclass opportunity.

 

[Cookie Sweetmead]

Honestly, that could be a fun story. She falls into becoming a monk to gain discipline and control and community to belong to, and not having to resort to stealing and what not to survive. I'm sure there has been a kung-fu movie about this.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Okay but in the interest of trying to actually make this end of chapter happen in timely fashion:

Raine used Persuasion on @Dungeon Master
T'anks has informed me that, as a demonic bestial creature, she wishes to occasionally behave like one. She says that her beautifully maintained claws, sharp teeth and majestic argali horns are very much not being properly utilized and none really fit the mold of a 1 damage Unarmed Strike. She implores the gracious and most generous Dungeon Master to bequeath unto her new forms of wanton destruction, balanced appropriately, for:

1) Clawing the fuck out of idiots.
2) Repeatedly headbutting creatures and objects that annoy her.
3) Rending flesh from bone (and maybe through bone, she's not picky) with horrific biting.
4) And, because she's some sort of sheep/ram demon creature at minimum, the ability to ram something with her very hard horns. Possibly with a knockback because she's not sure how effective ramming something but then moving back 5 feet actually is as an attack.

You’re supposed to roll for persuasion

 

[TD]

Or a corrupt devil monk who treads the line.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

I’m trying to decide if I want to level up as rogue or multiclass as a ranger

 

[TD]

Have y'all forgotten that Vash has given us a 50/50 chance of not getting fucking massacred?

All this future planning is going to mean one thing.

Spoiler

 

[Cookie Sweetmead]

Was TD superstitious before DnD or has DnD made him superstitious?

 

[TD]

Oh I've been superstitious for a long time. Ask anyone who was on a wolf team with me, if they start talking victory I'm always like "DON'T DO IT!!".

 

[Magni Kragtail]

Yeah, this is on target. They eventually put out a sourcebook that took that starter adventure and expanded it out into a full, "normal" D&D campaign, and that's what I'm running this from.

They put out a new version of the Starter set eventually, and that's the adventure Ben is running.

I didn't even know there was a new starter set. I swear I still see the one with the green dragon on it every time I go to Target

 

[VashTheStampede]

Klarg must be a milestone

@VashTheStampede can I roll a d100 when we see Klarg and if I roll above a 95, I instagib him with a crossbow bolt through the eye?

That's the same odds as rolling a Nat 20.

Or a Nat 1.

 

[TD]

Tick tock Hopper.

 

[TD]

Also I'm sharing this because it feels appropriate and literally just got here:

 

[Kutshort Yes]

What happened to Hopper and what can I do to save him?

 

[Kutshort Yes]

What happened to Hopper and what can I do to save him?

I have my next turn planned

 

[TD]

TIL: You can search through the app.

 

[T'anks]

Also nothing says you can't try to do those things and then beg for the dice gods and DM to oblige.

I mean I only asked for permission to save time!

Sounds like you want to be a monk

ohmygoditsbeautifulwhatthefuuu (Christina translation: OH MY GOD IT IS BEAUTIFUL WHAT THE FUUU)

You're right! I do want to be a Monk!!

...But also this is that D&D Logic at work.

In order to become a feral animal and scratch and bite my enemies, I first have to undergo rigorous training and gain discipline in the Art of the Fist.

I must remember to try this on my cats next time 5 minutes from now. "No, you're not allowed to scratch me until I see some credentials."

 

[TD]

I mean I only asked for permission to save time!

I mean we spent 3-4 real life days talking to goblins, Vash is pretty ambitious thinking this group of characters wraps it up tonight.

...unless he's just thinking we get obliterated by Klarg & Co.

I must remember to try this on my cats next time 5 minutes from now. "No, you're not allowed to scratch me until I see some credentials."

Please do let me know how this works out for you.

 

[TD]

In order to become a feral animal and scratch and bite my enemies, I first have to undergo rigorous training and gain discipline in the Art of the Fist.

Oh and.



Tortle Dude wins.

 

[T'anks]

Oh and.

Tortle Dude wins.

Also, shocker: It doesn't work!!

 

[T'anks]

Well. That might have been impressive if it was three 1s, but as-is is just mostly kind of sad to look at.

 

[TD]

We goblins

Dude's ears are burning.

...maybe 14 is enough to hit the wolf and 3 is enough to kill it.

If not...

Hopper might get knocked right back out.

 

[T'anks]

Best not be failing that AC check there, Hops!

...Dude is in for a rough night by all accounts. He better get comfy. I got a lot more songs pulled up.

 

[TD]

T'anks giving Dude a rough time?

Never could've seen that coming. He even foreshadowed this madness when they first met.

 

[T'anks]

It's destiny, that's all.

 

[TD]

Sure that's what we'll call it.

 

[T'anks]

Invoking Sean Bean tonight of all nights is certainly a choice.

 

[TD]

I didn't even consider that.
Good thing Dude is the one with a big sword...

Also.

And yet you snap your tail,
You show us that sharp fang,
But what if this is betrayal,
You could take us with a bang,

 

[TD]

A PATH TO GOBLINS!

 

[VashTheStampede]

I mean we spent 3-4 real life days talking to goblins, Vash is pretty ambitious thinking this group of characters wraps it up tonight.

Also I didn't consider that this is Movie Night so I won't be very active this evening.

Tomorrow's lookin good though.

 

[T'anks]

As T'anks releases the arrow, it flies with less precision than she intended, the trajectory slightly off from its intended path. However, fortune favors the bold. The arrow, despite its imperfect flight, grazes the wolf. This seemingly minor hit lands on an area already tender from previous wounds inflicted by the adventurers.

The cumulative effect of its injuries proves too much for the wolf. The impact of T'anks's arrow, minimal though it might have been under different circumstances

DO YOU SEE THE AMOUNT OF DISRESPECT THIS MAN IS GIVING ME?!

First, I can't bite a goblin's shiny metal ass face off.

Then, I roll horribly.

And finally, he trolls me before saying the dumb wolf died anyway.

MEN!

 

[VashTheStampede]

Its worse than that.

I initially assumed you missed the shot altogether and typed it up that way before going back and checking the wolf's AC again...

 

[T'anks]

...This isn't Wolf, captain.

I won't miss all of my shots!

That's hysterical though lol

 

[TD]

MEN!

 

[VashTheStampede]

omg is that a "NOT ALL MEN" out in the wild???

 

[TD]

Dude's on a roll.

 

[T'anks]

Vash is sinking the battleship for everyone!

The... Maletleship?

Needs work but we'll get there don't you worry.

 

[TD]

 

[VashTheStampede]

About time you all start tearing through these guys like tissue paper.

 

[TD]

Turns out all Dude needed was a devil to send him into a rage.

 

[T'anks]

...He's praising us.

I'm scared now.

 

[TD]

...He's praising us.

I'm scared now.

T'anks should be scared.

 

[TD]

TD: rants about instagibbing
Dude: starts instagibbing everything in sight

 

[T'anks]

Giant Tortle with a giant sword? Who woulda thought you just needed to add a little accuracy to the mix to start cleaving.

 

[TD]

Giant Tortle with a giant sword? Who woulda thought you just needed to add a little accuracy to the mix to start cleaving.

When the dice giveth.

Perhaps a subtle reminder that Dude definitely could've taken T'anks' head off with that sword...

if he wanted to.

 

[Nac McWeeble]

Dude's on a roll.

View attachment 9824

Mario Kart changed from what I remember..

 

[Kutshort Yes]

That's the same odds as rolling a Nat 20.

Or a Nat 1.

What about if I roll a nat100?

 

[TD]

Why would you want to instagib what seems to be our first true boss fight?

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Why would you want to instagib what seems to be our first true boss fight?

Not really, but I think it would be funny. Klarg does the typical bad guy monologue, then a crossbow bolt right through the eye into his brain ends it. Only with a nat100