Discussion Tavern: Sleeping Giant

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

Our only issue is we have 2 party members without any form of dark vision

We have Moonsprout.

And the guy who rolls only single digits.

I call that even steven.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

We have Moonsprout.

And the guy who rolls only single digits.

I call that even steven.

We have a pet wolf, so I think we win

 

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

We have a pet wolf, so I think we win

Probably more useful than Mai'Cokk.

 

[VashTheStampede]

And the guy who rolls only single digits

Hey we got one of those too!

I smell (short-lived) spinoff!

 

[Kutshort Yes]

I think I’ll make my next character a beast tamer and just collect a whole horde of creatures.

I’ll name him Cinis Capere Omnes

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

And the guy who rolls only single digits.

And yet I still hit more often than you

 

[TD]

Why are y'all so worried. We had a snake, a FIRE snake on top of it, and the thing died in 2 hits. It's all just hyped up for nothing.

A battle against two goblins and a boss turned into an epic battle for the ages.

...that's why we're worried. We aren't an unstoppable killing machine. We are a dysfunctional clusterfuck.

We have a pet wolf, so I think we win

*Kutshort has a pet wolf, Tortle Dude finds wolf meat tasty.

 

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

And yet I still hit more often than you

And I don't throw my weapons away due to popcorn butter fingers.

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

And I don't throw my weapons away due to popcorn butter fingers.

But you DO Rage and then swing and miss a fume drake standing an foot away!

 

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

But you DO Rage and then swing and miss a fume drake standing an foot away!

And you miss hitting an octopus the size of giant octopus.

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

And you miss hitting an octopus the size of giant octopus.

At least I was 50 feet away

 

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

At least I was 50 feet away

It was a physical being though and mine more ethereal.

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

It was a physical being though and mine more ethereal.

Sounds like an excuse. Think of Mai'Cokk!!

 

[Aims'Orreh Mwuh'Bwadd]

Sounds like an excuse. Think of Mai'Cokk!!

You're the one who tried to put a bolt through the octopus Mai'Cokk was part of.

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

You're the one who tried to put a bolt through the octopus Mai'Cokk was part of.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Technically yes but with the party's current disposition, highly unlikely.

...I mean this just sounds like a challenge?

Who the hell do you think we are!

Spoiler: MegaTen, yo

 

[VashTheStampede]

Think of Mai'Cokk!!

 

[TD]

I finally get a high roll and the snake outrolled me anyhow.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

I assumed it had more to do with it being an ambush predator.

However, such is also the way of RNG.

So... why not both?

 

[TD]

I think kut's passive perception prevented the "ambush" - that was my thought anyhow.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Snake rolled high and has a healthy DEX modifier.

 

[TD]

 

[TD]

The absurdity of the situation—the sight of a Tortle taunting a deadly creature with dance moves—would be comical if the stakes weren't so high.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

I could probably do with a refresher on positions and line of sight after shortkut's turn. Tiny corridor, packed sardines and maybe a bow at best for attack options (since Mockery is already in place for the next turn)? Nothing could possibly go wrong there.

 

[TD]

Yeah Mockery being in place means no need to use it again until after the Snake attacks, it's already at disadvantage for next turn.

In terms of LOS - I would guess where Hopper is, maybe where Dude was before he did Dude things.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Positioning, I would assume hopper shifted back to where TD was, I shifted to where Hopper was, and TD is where I was

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

So I may have had a Great WONDERFUL Idea™.

Let's see what happens.

 

[TD]

I for one have been fascinated with our wonderful ideas.

 

[VashTheStampede]

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Plan 2B also assumes you intend to live through Plan 1A.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

View attachment 9507

 

[VashTheStampede]

(Best subreddit)

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

...Huh.

Vash wants no part of my insanity and just took the ball and went home.

WELL OKAY FINE, BUT I'M POCKETING IT FOR THE NEXT ONE

 

[VashTheStampede]

...Huh.

Vash wants no part of my insanity and just took the ball and went home.

WELL OKAY FINE, BUT I'M POCKETING IT FOR THE NEXT ONE

I am honestly sad I didn't get to see it play out. But y'all were also due for a straight up vaporization of one of these mooks.

 

[TD]

The Tortle Booty Shake inspired as it will.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

That's not how this campaign works. Turn the difficulty back up!

We're supposed to struggle against common sewer rats for at least six rounds.

This ain't my pappy's Dragon Quest!?

 

[TD]

Oh don't worry I'm sure we're about to struggle immensely with our next goblin fight.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Hypothetically speaking.

If a slightly unstable marauder wanted to, say... obtain some venom glands from a recently deceased venomous poisonous snake.

Which sort of Check might that entail.

You know. For science.

 

[TD]

Well I mean, the Tortle just gutted the snake so if you want in on this action you better get in on it.

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Well hey good news, don't gotta worry about that low roll fucking up something important.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Looks like kutshortorder is a certified boss killer, right @A Pineap-Alu-zer

 

[TD]

unless you just poisoned yourself and now need to make a saving throw

 

[T'anks Kiraine]

Don't give Vash ideas! It's not like I rolled a 1, ruptured the gland and slit my hand open to allow it into my bloodstream.

That's what'll happen next time!

 

[TD]

 

[TD]

Spoiler: I figured out Kutshort's hidden identity

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

Spoiler: I figured out Kutshort's hidden identity

View attachment 9509

He's Sephiroth?

 

[TD]

He's Sephiroth?

Well he just solo killed a snake immediately and he just made Red his bitch so it's the only explanation.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

Well he just solo killed a snake immediately and he just made Red his bitch so it's the only explanation.

Red is a friend… and don’t forget the goblin boss I got the final strike against

 

[Zesty Zapcrackle]

Well he just solo killed a snake immediately and he just made Red his bitch so it's the only explanation.

You know, Hideo Kojima one shot a snake too.

 

[Kutshort Yes]

You know, Hideo Kojima one shot a snake too.