Other Need some help identifying this picture

[A Baby Maker]

So far the only help anyone else has offered was from a couple of Sheryl's friends who immediately, after screaming, went into how they need to coordinate a knitting schedule to make sure there's enough stuff for the baby.

I'm completely fine with that.

 

[Mark]

This continues to be a name that bugs me when Americans say it. The "h" is silent in British pronunciation. So whenever I hear "AnTHony", it's weird AF.

Depends on the American. I know some Anthony’s, some Ant’ony’s, and some Antony’s.

 

[Mark]

Ooh parental units…

The only baby advise I have:

1. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or what they swear always works for their child. You and your wife will find out what works for you and your baby.
2. Everyone is going to try to tell you what to do. You need to find the way to tell each person a variation of “thanks for the suggestion. We will see what works” so they leave you alone
3. Anyone providing help needs to give you the help that you want/need, not what they think you want/need. Trying to accept help in a way you don’t need or want can be more frustrating than not having help at all
4. Everyone talks about postpartum depression, but postpartum anxiety is possibly more prevalent and sometimes harder to identify. If your wife chooses to breastfeed, know that breastfeeding causes hormonal fluctuations during and afterwards that can make either PPD or PPA worse
5. It doesn’t matter if the baby is breastfed or formula fed as long as it is fed. Don’t let anyone shame you or your wife for choosing one way over another

A baby can definitely contribute to a family dysfunction that already exists, too. If you have an overbearing stepmother, she could get worse if not put in check. I learned this one the hard way. I got along with my ex’s family well, so much so that her father supported me leaving her and her mother told me not to “put up with her shit”, but, at the end of the day… family is still family. My family? Thought I had them figured out, but, even they started meddling in stuff they had no business meddling in. The same rule for marriage applies to having a kid… it’s you and the Mrs., not you and the Mrs. and her friends and your friends and y’all’s family and the neighbor with the lazy eye.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Also don't worry. They live over an hour away so it's not like they'll just be able to stop by. Also, my dad is retired, but my step mom is not.

So it hopefully won't be too terrible. First grandchild though. First of this new generation in the family in fact.

 

[dimmerwit]

I know nothing about raising children, but I did once have a Tamagotchi and it's 2025 so speaking with no expertise is in vogue.

Aside from the obvious (don't shake a baby) they apparently should not be fed honey. I have no idea why and instead of looking it up I thought it would be more entertaining to brainstorm, but even trying to make something up has left me genuinely clueless.

Unless bees put some kind of latent baby defense mechanism in the honey. Maybe that's it. I like to think a proto-human baby once really pissed off a prehistoric bee.

 

[shortkut]

have no idea why and instead of looking it up I thought it would be more entertaining to brainstorm, but even trying to make something up has left me genuinely clueless.

Honey contains clostridium that the stomach acid in a baby is not strong enough to destroy so the baby could get infant botulism

@A Baby Maker if you want reputable resources for looking things up when you inevitably have questions, I can provide some

 

[shortkut]

@A Baby Maker if you want reputable resources for looking things up when you inevitably have questions, I can provide some

LactMed - good resource if you want to check what meds cross into breast milk

MotherToBaby - good resource written in plain speech going into what crosses the placenta and into breast milk

Healthychildren.org - my favorite resource for looking up current guidelines. Run by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Written to be understood by non-medical people

Children’s hospital of Philadelphia has many great articles about things, but I can never find them unless I google my question and add CHOP to the search

 

[dimmerwit]

Interesting. I'd have assumed that such an issue would affect adults as well. I thought it would affect everyone like leftover rice. And having said that (and finally deploying Google) now I know that under-5s shouldn't have rice drinks because they're full of arsenic.

This having kids thing seems hard!

 

[shortkut]

Interesting. I'd have assumed that such an issue would affect adults as well. I thought it would affect everyone like leftover rice. And having said that (and finally deploying Google) now I know that under-5s shouldn't have rice drinks because they're full of arsenic.

This having kids thing seems hard!

Arsenic is why they don’t make baby rice cereal anymore

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Congrats man. It's life altering and at MANY times incredibly frustrating and hard but it's the coolest thing to see a tiny version of yourself figuring out the world.

Or in your case, hopefully a larger version of yourself.

I have no advice - every kid is different and every parent unit functions differently. The only thing you can do is make educated decisions and put the health and growth of the kid at the forefront. You're smart, you'll do just fine.

If it's a boy, Thomas is a great name. I know two who are immensely popular in the New England area, both over 6'4 and extremely handsome.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Lmao if my child ends up over 6 feet tall. My wife is Asian, guys. Just ask @Gloom-is-good about that.

Also I won't be posting any face pictures online at any point really. At least not anywhere that's public.

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Lmao if my child ends up over 6 feet tall. My wife is Asian, guys. Just ask @Gloom-is-good about that.

Also I won't be posting any face pictures online at any point really. At least not anywhere that's public.

Explain Yao Ming!

Also yeah, we didn't post our kids anywhere until they gave us permission. So when they turned 10 and 7.

 

[Mark]

Also don't worry. They live over an hour away so it's not like they'll just be able to stop by. Also, my dad is retired, but my step mom is not.

So it hopefully won't be too terrible. First grandchild though. First of this new generation in the family in fact.

That’s good. Just close enough to babysit, not too close to get your kid sugar high on a Wednesday and run off down the street. I wasn’t trying to scare you, though. That’s just one of those things no one really tells you about. Our parents want to parent us parenting our kids, and, everyone else is an expert and you’re dumb.

Explain Yao Ming!

Selective breeding. Gene splicing. Pituitary gland issues. Etc.

Only insanely tall dude I ever knew said he had some kind of “overactive pituitary system” that caused rapid growth during puberty. He was a normal sized kid all the way up until then.

 

[dimmerwit]

Explain Yao Ming!

Also yeah, we didn't post our kids anywhere until they gave us permission. So when they turned 10 and 7.

I forgot we had the King of Daycare in here as well!

 

[A Baby Maker]

Explain Yao Ming

Went so short he came around the other side again.

 

[Smacktard]

Explain Yao Ming!

This is perfect use for the phrase "the exception that proves the rule"

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

I didn't ask for a bunch of perfectly reasonable responses, I wanted chaos.

 

[Rachel]

I have a very tall dad and brother. My husband isn't as tall as them. I'm average height as a woman. I have sometimes wondered if I will give my boys any of those tall genes from my side, even though I am not the man who is tall. Or what will happen. I'll be happy either way, of course.

 

[Crystal]

I have a very tall dad and brother. My husband isn't as tall as them. I'm average height as a woman. I have sometimes wondered if I will give my boys any of those tall genes from my side, even though I am not the man who is tall. Or what will happen. I'll be happy either way, of course.

My dad is 5'9, my mother is 5'6, I am 6'1 (ugh), so it's possible. My mother's first husband was 6'2, my oldest sister is 5'10 and my brother was 6'6 (just shy of 6'7), so it's very possible you'll pass the height genes onto your boys. It's also possible you won't, lol. Hit or miss.

 

[Mark]

I have a very tall dad and brother. My husband isn't as tall as them. I'm average height as a woman. I have sometimes wondered if I will give my boys any of those tall genes from my side, even though I am not the man who is tall. Or what will happen. I'll be happy either way, of course.

It’s very possible, but you won’t know til the onset of puberty. Both of my younger siblings, although shorter than me, are both still taller than average with us having a shorter than average mother.

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

I'm curious where my kids will end up. I'm obviously a tall drink of water but my wife is 5'2.

My 11 year old is 5'5 right now but my 8 year old is about average.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Confirmed I get 14 weeks of fully paid paternity leave!

That's 6 weeks more than I expected.

 

[Kat]

@Ben my post wasn't a complaint, it was asking how Jon got something good.

 

[Ben]

Mother fuckers, I said babies not politics.

@Ben my post wasn't a complaint, it was asking how Jon got something good.

Yeah, I get that, but it's still perpetuating the non-celebration conversation. You get split with the rest of them!

 

[BigDaddy]

Awesome, congrats @A Baby Maker ! Time to invest in one of those running strollers.

 

[dimmerwit]

Awesome, congrats @A Baby Maker ! Time to invest in one of those running strollers.

Man, every time I see one of your posts I think that Simpsons GIF is part of the post and I keep trying to interpret what it means...

 

[A Baby Maker]

Awesome, congrats @A Baby Maker ! Time to invest in one of those running strollers.

Yep. That'll certainly be a thing.

 

[Nae'blis]

In Sweden we get 480 days paid (390 of them are about 80% of your normal income, the rest are 180 Swedish crowns per day) parental leave to be used amongst the parents. 90 of those days are reserved for each parent, while the others can be used as you see fit, up until the day the kid turns 12.

 

[Ben]

In Sweden we get 480 days paid (390 of them are about 80% of your normal income, the rest are 180 Swedish crowns per day) parental leave to be used amongst the parents. 90 of those days are reserved for each parent, while the others can be used as you see fit, up until the day the kid turns 12.

Pictured, Sweden Anywhere not the US.

 

[A Baby Maker]

In Sweden we get 480 days paid (390 of them are about 80% of your normal income, the rest are 180 Swedish crowns per day) parental leave to be used amongst the parents. 90 of those days are reserved for each parent, while the others can be used as you see fit, up until the day the kid turns 12.

In the US we get nothing guaranteed (with pay) unless your work does it for you. At least on the federal level - there's a handful of states that pay something out though.

 

[Nae'blis]

The parental days are paid by Försäkringskassan (Insurance Fund I think it translates to), a branch of the government in Sweden. They are responsible for the social insurance, which includes basically anyone living or working in Sweden. They are financed by taxes mostly.

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

At my company, once the president and some of the senior leadership started having kids they instituted some decent parental leave policies for our company at least... 12 weeks for both parents at 60% pay, up to 20 weeks for the mom but the last 8 weeks are unpaid.

I guess I'm just bitter that so many people have had kids in the last 5 years and they all benefitted from it. My two brother's both had 12 weeks off for their kid's in the last two years.

Feels like I had to do it all the hard way. I'm NOT trying to say extended leave shouldn't exist, that was a joke before. Oy.

 

[shortkut]

At my company, once the president and some of the senior leadership started having kids they instituted some decent parental leave policies for our company at least... 12 weeks for both parents at 60% pay, up to 20 weeks for the mom but the last 8 weeks are unpaid.

I guess I'm just bitter that so many people have had kids in the last 5 years and they all benefitted from it. My two brother's both had 12 weeks off for their kid's in the last two years.

Feels like I had to do it all the hard way. I'm NOT trying to say extended leave shouldn't exist, that was a joke before. Oy.

I took only 1 month for my first daughter and regretted it. I took the full 12 weeks of FMLA for my second daughter

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

I took only 1 month for my first daughter and regretted it. I took the full 12 weeks of FMLA for my second daughter

That's maybe a better way to say regret rather than bitter. I work a lot, I try to be present with the kids, but I feel like I never get the time I want with them.

I am jealous, though. All these new parents talking about how much bonding time and family time they have to build their family units... I never got that.

 

[Zell 17]

Congrats!!

 

[Zell 17]

On the leave front, we get 16 weeks. 16 weeks x 3 kids means I got a year from my company. TOTALLY cost effective way at a free vacation. Super relaxing too I tell ya.

 

[A Baby Maker]

On the leave front, we get 16 weeks. 16 weeks x 3 kids means I got a year from my company. TOTALLY cost effective way at a free vacation. Super relaxing too I tell ya.

"Free" vacation lol

 

[Smacktard]

On the leave front, we get 16 weeks. 16 weeks x 3 kids means I got a year from my company. TOTALLY cost effective way at a free vacation. Super relaxing too I tell ya.

Better than 16 kids x 3 weeks

 

[Christina]

The only baby advice I give is to trust your instincts. People will tell you all kinds of rules and schedules you have to train your baby to do. I'm sure all those rules are now different than what they were 8 years ago when I had my last one. Some cultures still leave their babies outside in a stroller to get sunshine while they eat at restaurants. People just make some stuff up that worked for their kid. May not work for yours.

That being said. If you feel overwhelmed it's ok to put the baby down to cry in a safe place while you calm down. If your schedule changes for who is driving the kid around than does it normally, put some kind of reminder on the car door or some you always take with the baby. A lot of the babies that get left in a car is because of a change in who takes the kid and the kid falls asleep and the parent goes on autopilot. This goes for grandparents too.

Any baby stuff you buy is for you. They don't need any of that. Especially toys. They will be just as happy with pots and pans as any plastic toys you buy for them.

 

[Ants!]

I liked co-sleeping. Having the baby in the bed was great

 

[shortkut]

Any baby stuff you buy is for you. They don't need any of that. Especially toys. They will be just as happy with pots and pans as any plastic toys you buy for them

Especially clothes. They will out grow them so fast… also for the first year of life, my girls basically only wore pajamas and sleeper dresses. Most of the clothes we were gifted for them went unworn and were then donated

I liked co-sleeping. Having the baby in the bed was great

That’s a wonderful feeling but also dangerous. My wife and I never both went to sleep with the baby in the bed. One of us had to stay awake if we were falling asleep holding or lying with them. We had a bassinet next to the bed

 

[Nae'blis]

Also, baby naps are awesome! Taking a nap with a baby sleeping on your chest is so dang nice, and relaxing.

 

[Ants!]

Especially clothes. They will out grow them so fast… also for the first year of life, my girls basically only wore pajamas and sleeper dresses. Most of the clothes we were gifted for them went unworn and were then donated


That’s a wonderful feeling but also dangerous. My wife and I never both went to sleep with the baby in the bed. One of us had to stay awake if we were falling asleep holding or lying with them. We had a bassinet next to the bed

Felt safer to me than leaving them if another room. If the baby had any complications during the night I'd be more likely to notice than if I were relying on some baby monitor.

 

[shortkut]

Felt safer to me than leaving them if another room. If the baby had any complications during the night I'd be more likely to notice than if I were relying on some baby monitor.

The dangerous part is potentially rolling over onto them and suffocating them. There are ways to prevent that, but we didn’t have any of those.

 

[A Baby Maker]

One of our neighbors had a baby in December. I anticipate we can get a lot of clothes handed to us from the end of our driveway (we share a driveway with them).

 

[Smacktard]

One of our neighbors had a baby in December. I anticipate we can get a lot of clothes handed to us from the end of our driveway (we share a driveway with them).

Try to get a few silly costumes/outfits for the baby. It might seem not worth it to buy a silly outfit for a single photo op, but I guarantee you those photos will be looked back on and cherished.

One of my favorite photos of myself as a baby has me dressed like a sailor and looking like I'm ready to puke.

 

[Ants!]

The dangerous part is potentially rolling over onto them and suffocating them. There are ways to prevent that, but we didn’t have any of those.

That's the fear, but speaking from years of experience raising two babies I did not find that to be true.

Not saying there's no precedent for it or anything, I guess it depends on the individual.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Try to get a few silly costumes/outfits for the baby. It might seem not worth it to buy a silly outfit for a single photo op, but I guarantee you those photos will be looked back on and cherished.

One of my favorite photos of myself as a baby has me dressed like a sailor and looking like I'm ready to puke.

The baby will be ~2 months around Halloween, so costumes will likely be a thing.

 

[Ants!]

The baby will be ~2 months around Halloween, so costumes will likely be a thing.

He can be Alucard while you dress as Dracula. The only fitting combo, given the origin of your name.

 

[Ants!]

Just realized I made the momentary assumption you were having a boy. Sorry, I'm still pre-coffee.