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I fluent in clementine
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This News Doesn't Suck!
Everyone stop what you're doing! It's happening! GW's own Alu is having a baby!! Come and congratulate him here: Need some help identifying this picture.
We're so happy for you, Alu!
Other Need some help identifying this picture
- Thread starter A Baby Maker
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I chose not to pick that low hanging fruit for fear of being insensitive.
But I suppose orange jokes are fine for juice to make.
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Right, now that the server outage is behind us and my ramblings are safe, let me come back to this Mandarin point. I think you should make real, sustained efforts to learn it. Anecdote time.
Dutch is a hard language to learn. There's a reason why hardly anyone speaks Dutch but Dutch people are so good at other languages. I had largely avoided learning it for the first twelve years that my wife and I were together. But when she fell pregnant with our daughter, we had to make a decision as to whether to I would learn Dutch or not. There was no debate that we were going to raise all of our children bilingual. There are so many reasons that they should be raised bilingual, from the heritage and identity reasons to the actual developmental benefits to the the practical fact it allows them to communicate with the other half of their family in their native language. The issue was whether I was going to be a part of that or not.
There were two main reasons not to. The first is that if my default language with my children is my second language, I will not be able to communicate with them in the way that I would like to. I can always break into English, of course, but that should be done rarely ideally. The second is that my Dutch will have mistakes in it, and you don't want the kids picking up on the mistakes. My kids go to a Dutch school on Saturday mornings. Every single one of the other kids has one Dutch parent and one English parent, and the English parent has not learned Dutch. I am the only one who has done it. Can you guess how good my kids' Dutch is compared to every other student in that school?
Yeah, of course you can. My kids are fluent. My nine year old is actually fully fluent. Her Dutch reading level, despite not living in the country, is about three years ahead of her age. Our six year old son is not quite as naturally fluent. At various time in the last six moths or so he's allowed more English to creep into his Dutch, but when he is in Holland and around other Dutch people he reverts to being fully fluent, and can understand and communicate in Dutch however he needs to, including with other kids. His Dutch reading age is also ahead of his actual age. So it's nitpicking to note the fact that he's not as fluent as his sister. He's fluent enough. And when they're together in the house or on holiday, they speak Dutch to each other. Our two year old obviously isn't properly speaking yet, but about 75% of his words are Dutch. By comparison, most of the other kids in the Dutch school really don't speak Dutch at all. Some speak it more than others, and some are more adept it at than you might expect them to be in a foreign language at their age, but they're not fluent.
Why are my kids fluent when the others aren't? It's a bit simplistic to say "me", but the answer is that they are more consistently exposed to the language. The other kids do not speak Dutch at home consistently. Their Dutch parent might speak Dutch to them, but they're not using it properly on even a daily basis. By contrast, the language that me and my wife speak to our kids is Dutch. All the time. In the house. Out of the house. I took all three of them to a birthday party yesterday (RIP my long parenting three kids for three days thread) and spoke to them in Dutch the whole time, even around other kids that they were speaking English to and parents that I was speaking English to. English is a rare exception when it comes to us and the kids. I might speak it once every three or four months to my kids. They speak Dutch to each other. Throughout their lives we have read stories to them in Dutch, and when they have been learning to read we have mixed in Dutch books with the English ones. When they watch Bluey or Paw Patrol or whatever else they're watching on Disney Plus and Netflix, we have a general rule that they watch it in Dutch, even films. That's not a blanket rule now that they're older and want to watch more diverse films, but it's still reasonably firm. Their exposure has been consistent and significant, even when they start school.
The reality is that this would not have happened without me speaking Dutch to them as a default. It wouldn't have stopped my wife speaking Dutch to them, but it would mean that we would have lost the battle to English in the house. Because learning any language is about immersion. You can't be immersed in a language when everything around you, including nursery, friends, school, television and one of your parents is in a different language. The lone other parent simply cannot expose them to enough of the other language to offset that. It's very, very difficult, if not impossible in many cases.
So that's my pitch for why you should learn Mandarin. Because your child, and possibly eventually children, are very, very unlikely to be fluent in Mandarin if you don't, and you really want them to be. Scientifically children have to be exposed to another language one third of the time to be natively fluent in it. That's so difficult if only one parent speaks it. It doesn't mean they can't speak or understand the language to some degree. But they are extremely unlikely to be fluent. There's a boy in my daughter's class who has a Dutch father and an Italian mother. They speak their respective languages to him and his sister. Can he understand both? Yes, mostly. Can he speak both? Kind of. But he mostly doesn't. He has some grounding in both. But he's not fluent. Neither is his sister, who is a bit younger. Again, it's not impossible to raise kids to be trilingual, but it's so very hard to hit that one third exposure rate. The same is true of being bilingual where only one parent speaks the language.
So, how do you do it? Well, it's really fucking difficult. And that's me saying that about a difficult language that at least uses the same alphabet as English. Mandarin obviously doesn't. I appreciate it's a different ball game. But most of the steps will be the same, and you will have one advantage, which is that so many more people speak Mandarin than Dutch. I bought books and courses you do at home, had Duolingo, and had some private tuition, but the big turning point was doing two distance learning university courses back to back. They were 12 weeks each, and that gave me a breakthrough with my Dutch level. After that I could use my own desire to practise and further my language to expose myself to the language to improve. That was quite difficult for me, because few people around here speak Dutch. It required me to throw myself into it when we went to Holland a few times a year. You're going to find this easier, because there will be one or more Mandarin communities that are accessible to you where you live. Guaranteed. So you go there regularly, sit down at a cafe, or a bar or something similar. And you speak to people. And you get through the awkwardness and the embarrassment, and you keep doing it. It really is difficult to bury your insecurities to do that and keep going, but you do it. Because it will make you better. And the people you are doing it with will love that you're doing it and they will be so eager to help you. I've had so many smiles and laughs, and so much beaming enthusiasm from Dutch people everywhere when they realise that I'm an English person who is trying really hard to learn Dutch. Eventually, you'll crack it. It took me about six years of learning, and at that point I spent an entire holiday in Holland with my in laws and didn't speak a word of English to them. I still do that now. And actually, my in laws love it, particularly my mother in law, whose English is excellent but she does not like speaking it. She's like a different person now that we only speak Dutch to each other. The one thing you cannot do is rely on your wife to teach you. She can help and correct you, but she can't be a main source of you learning it. Because it won't work. Your relationship is founded on English, and you simply won't be able to shift that to the extent that you need to in order to learn. My wife and I even struggle to speak Dutch to each other in the house now despite my pretty high level of fluency. We only really do it when we're speaking to the kids together You have to have other primary sources of learning. On the plus side, though, your wife's reaction when you come out with an unusual or traditional Mandarin phrase that she didn't know you knew will be great.
I'm not going to suggest this is easy. It's not. It's really difficult to work through those initial stages of learning the language. And even when you've cracked a certain level, it is very hard to repeatedly put yourself in situations where you know you will make mistakes, and fail, and make things awkward. But you must keep going, and you will. Because this is your child we're talking about. It's a gift that you can give them that will allow them to embrace their identity and their heritage in a way that other children will never experience. Even those who have parents with different native languages will, generally, not receive that gift. To give it to your children is something truly special, and the pride in watching them have a mastery of that language is something I can't explain. Second, being fluent (or close enough) in another language is really fucking cool, particularly when it's a difficult one that you share with your own family, and your wife's family. Do you know how cool it is to be an English person in Holland who speaks Dutch? Probably not quite as cool as it is to be a caucasian American in China (or your local Chinatown) who speaks Mandarin. So really, it is sacrifice and effort for your kids that I'm talking about here, but it's personal growth too, because in the end it is a really nice thing to be able to speak a second language, especially when that's your wife's second language. I do not have time to write about the sheer number of embarrassing moments I've had speaking Dutch, or the number of times I've been beyond frustrated and convinced I will never be good enough at it. But sitting here now, it's one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Possibly the best, for both my kids and myself. When I tell people that I have done this, that I learned Dutch so that I could speak it with my kids, I get a lot of praise. Which is nice, but the blood, sweat and tears to get here has been worth it because of the very obvious positive impact on my children. It's easy for me to say that I would do it again in a heartbeat because I have done it, but I acknowledge that it is a really difficult road to take. In the end, though, it is one of the biggest gifts you will ever give your child, and there is no better person to go through that gruelling process for.
Learn Mandarin, Alu.
Dutch is a hard language to learn. There's a reason why hardly anyone speaks Dutch but Dutch people are so good at other languages. I had largely avoided learning it for the first twelve years that my wife and I were together. But when she fell pregnant with our daughter, we had to make a decision as to whether to I would learn Dutch or not. There was no debate that we were going to raise all of our children bilingual. There are so many reasons that they should be raised bilingual, from the heritage and identity reasons to the actual developmental benefits to the the practical fact it allows them to communicate with the other half of their family in their native language. The issue was whether I was going to be a part of that or not.
There were two main reasons not to. The first is that if my default language with my children is my second language, I will not be able to communicate with them in the way that I would like to. I can always break into English, of course, but that should be done rarely ideally. The second is that my Dutch will have mistakes in it, and you don't want the kids picking up on the mistakes. My kids go to a Dutch school on Saturday mornings. Every single one of the other kids has one Dutch parent and one English parent, and the English parent has not learned Dutch. I am the only one who has done it. Can you guess how good my kids' Dutch is compared to every other student in that school?
Yeah, of course you can. My kids are fluent. My nine year old is actually fully fluent. Her Dutch reading level, despite not living in the country, is about three years ahead of her age. Our six year old son is not quite as naturally fluent. At various time in the last six moths or so he's allowed more English to creep into his Dutch, but when he is in Holland and around other Dutch people he reverts to being fully fluent, and can understand and communicate in Dutch however he needs to, including with other kids. His Dutch reading age is also ahead of his actual age. So it's nitpicking to note the fact that he's not as fluent as his sister. He's fluent enough. And when they're together in the house or on holiday, they speak Dutch to each other. Our two year old obviously isn't properly speaking yet, but about 75% of his words are Dutch. By comparison, most of the other kids in the Dutch school really don't speak Dutch at all. Some speak it more than others, and some are more adept it at than you might expect them to be in a foreign language at their age, but they're not fluent.
Why are my kids fluent when the others aren't? It's a bit simplistic to say "me", but the answer is that they are more consistently exposed to the language. The other kids do not speak Dutch at home consistently. Their Dutch parent might speak Dutch to them, but they're not using it properly on even a daily basis. By contrast, the language that me and my wife speak to our kids is Dutch. All the time. In the house. Out of the house. I took all three of them to a birthday party yesterday (RIP my long parenting three kids for three days thread) and spoke to them in Dutch the whole time, even around other kids that they were speaking English to and parents that I was speaking English to. English is a rare exception when it comes to us and the kids. I might speak it once every three or four months to my kids. They speak Dutch to each other. Throughout their lives we have read stories to them in Dutch, and when they have been learning to read we have mixed in Dutch books with the English ones. When they watch Bluey or Paw Patrol or whatever else they're watching on Disney Plus and Netflix, we have a general rule that they watch it in Dutch, even films. That's not a blanket rule now that they're older and want to watch more diverse films, but it's still reasonably firm. Their exposure has been consistent and significant, even when they start school.
The reality is that this would not have happened without me speaking Dutch to them as a default. It wouldn't have stopped my wife speaking Dutch to them, but it would mean that we would have lost the battle to English in the house. Because learning any language is about immersion. You can't be immersed in a language when everything around you, including nursery, friends, school, television and one of your parents is in a different language. The lone other parent simply cannot expose them to enough of the other language to offset that. It's very, very difficult, if not impossible in many cases.
So that's my pitch for why you should learn Mandarin. Because your child, and possibly eventually children, are very, very unlikely to be fluent in Mandarin if you don't, and you really want them to be. Scientifically children have to be exposed to another language one third of the time to be natively fluent in it. That's so difficult if only one parent speaks it. It doesn't mean they can't speak or understand the language to some degree. But they are extremely unlikely to be fluent. There's a boy in my daughter's class who has a Dutch father and an Italian mother. They speak their respective languages to him and his sister. Can he understand both? Yes, mostly. Can he speak both? Kind of. But he mostly doesn't. He has some grounding in both. But he's not fluent. Neither is his sister, who is a bit younger. Again, it's not impossible to raise kids to be trilingual, but it's so very hard to hit that one third exposure rate. The same is true of being bilingual where only one parent speaks the language.
So, how do you do it? Well, it's really fucking difficult. And that's me saying that about a difficult language that at least uses the same alphabet as English. Mandarin obviously doesn't. I appreciate it's a different ball game. But most of the steps will be the same, and you will have one advantage, which is that so many more people speak Mandarin than Dutch. I bought books and courses you do at home, had Duolingo, and had some private tuition, but the big turning point was doing two distance learning university courses back to back. They were 12 weeks each, and that gave me a breakthrough with my Dutch level. After that I could use my own desire to practise and further my language to expose myself to the language to improve. That was quite difficult for me, because few people around here speak Dutch. It required me to throw myself into it when we went to Holland a few times a year. You're going to find this easier, because there will be one or more Mandarin communities that are accessible to you where you live. Guaranteed. So you go there regularly, sit down at a cafe, or a bar or something similar. And you speak to people. And you get through the awkwardness and the embarrassment, and you keep doing it. It really is difficult to bury your insecurities to do that and keep going, but you do it. Because it will make you better. And the people you are doing it with will love that you're doing it and they will be so eager to help you. I've had so many smiles and laughs, and so much beaming enthusiasm from Dutch people everywhere when they realise that I'm an English person who is trying really hard to learn Dutch. Eventually, you'll crack it. It took me about six years of learning, and at that point I spent an entire holiday in Holland with my in laws and didn't speak a word of English to them. I still do that now. And actually, my in laws love it, particularly my mother in law, whose English is excellent but she does not like speaking it. She's like a different person now that we only speak Dutch to each other. The one thing you cannot do is rely on your wife to teach you. She can help and correct you, but she can't be a main source of you learning it. Because it won't work. Your relationship is founded on English, and you simply won't be able to shift that to the extent that you need to in order to learn. My wife and I even struggle to speak Dutch to each other in the house now despite my pretty high level of fluency. We only really do it when we're speaking to the kids together You have to have other primary sources of learning. On the plus side, though, your wife's reaction when you come out with an unusual or traditional Mandarin phrase that she didn't know you knew will be great.
I'm not going to suggest this is easy. It's not. It's really difficult to work through those initial stages of learning the language. And even when you've cracked a certain level, it is very hard to repeatedly put yourself in situations where you know you will make mistakes, and fail, and make things awkward. But you must keep going, and you will. Because this is your child we're talking about. It's a gift that you can give them that will allow them to embrace their identity and their heritage in a way that other children will never experience. Even those who have parents with different native languages will, generally, not receive that gift. To give it to your children is something truly special, and the pride in watching them have a mastery of that language is something I can't explain. Second, being fluent (or close enough) in another language is really fucking cool, particularly when it's a difficult one that you share with your own family, and your wife's family. Do you know how cool it is to be an English person in Holland who speaks Dutch? Probably not quite as cool as it is to be a caucasian American in China (or your local Chinatown) who speaks Mandarin. So really, it is sacrifice and effort for your kids that I'm talking about here, but it's personal growth too, because in the end it is a really nice thing to be able to speak a second language, especially when that's your wife's second language. I do not have time to write about the sheer number of embarrassing moments I've had speaking Dutch, or the number of times I've been beyond frustrated and convinced I will never be good enough at it. But sitting here now, it's one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Possibly the best, for both my kids and myself. When I tell people that I have done this, that I learned Dutch so that I could speak it with my kids, I get a lot of praise. Which is nice, but the blood, sweat and tears to get here has been worth it because of the very obvious positive impact on my children. It's easy for me to say that I would do it again in a heartbeat because I have done it, but I acknowledge that it is a really difficult road to take. In the end, though, it is one of the biggest gifts you will ever give your child, and there is no better person to go through that gruelling process for.
Learn Mandarin, Alu.
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For fun, I had Chat GPT translate that to Mandarin:
好的，现在服务器故障问题已经解决，我的胡言乱语也得以保留，让我重新回到这个学习中文的问题上。我认为你应该付出真正持续的努力去学习它。故事时间到了。
荷兰语是一门难学的语言。几乎没人说荷兰语，但荷兰人却能说好多其他语言，这其中是有原因的。我和我的妻子在一起的前十二年里，我几乎都没学过荷兰语。但当她怀上我们女儿的时候，我们不得不决定是否让我学习荷兰语。我们决定抚养我们的孩子们双语成长，这点没有争议。孩子们应该双语成长的原因有很多，从文化和身份的原因，到实际的发育益处，再到它让孩子们能够用他们母语和另一方家人交流的实际考虑。问题在于我是否也会参与其中。
有两个主要的理由让我没有选择学习荷兰语。首先，如果我和孩子们的默认语言是我的第二语言，我将无法像我想要的那样与他们沟通。当然，我可以随时用英语交流，但理想情况下这种情况应该是极其罕见的。第二是我的荷兰语会有错误，而你不希望孩子们学到这些错误。我孩子们每周六早上会去荷兰语学校。其他所有孩子的父母都是一方说荷兰语，一方说英语，而且说荷兰语的一方也没学好荷兰语。我是唯一一个学过荷兰语的人。你能猜到我孩子们的荷兰语水平和学校里其他孩子相比如何吗？
当然可以。我的孩子们是流利的。我的九岁女儿已经完全流利了。尽管我们不住在荷兰，她的荷兰语阅读水平大约领先她同龄人三岁。我们六岁的儿子虽然没有像姐姐那样自然流利，但在过去六个月左右的时间里，他有时让英语渗入了他的荷兰语中，但当他在荷兰，和其他荷兰人交流时，他会恢复到完全流利的状态，能够用荷兰语理解和沟通，和其他孩子也能自如交流。他的荷兰语阅读水平也领先实际年龄。所以，提到他没有姐姐流利，其实是挑剔的。他已经够流利了。当他们一起在家或者度假时，他们会用荷兰语交流。我们两岁的孩子显然还不会说话，但大约75%的词汇是荷兰语的。相比之下，荷兰语学校的其他孩子其实并不懂荷兰语。有些孩子说得多，有些孩子尽管还不够熟练，但在他们这个年纪能用外语说得比你想象的好，但他们并不流利。
为什么我的孩子们能够流利，而其他孩子不能？说“是我”有些简单，但答案是他们接触荷兰语的频率更高。其他孩子没有在家里持续说荷兰语。可能荷兰语的父母会和他们讲荷兰语，但他们并没有每天都在使用荷兰语。相比之下，我和我妻子和孩子们说的语言是荷兰语。一直都是。在家里，在外面。我昨天带着三个孩子去参加生日派对（哀悼我三个孩子连续三天的长时间养育体验），全程都用荷兰语和他们说话，即使周围有其他孩子用英语交流，我也和他们用荷兰语说。我对孩子们说英语的机会是非常罕见的，可能三到四个月才说一次。他们会用荷兰语互相交谈。在他们的成长过程中，我们一直用荷兰语给他们读故事，当他们开始学习阅读时，我们把荷兰语书籍和英语书籍混合在一起给他们读。当他们看《蓝色小精灵》或《汪汪队立大功》之类的节目时，我们有一个原则，就是让他们看荷兰语版，甚至电影也是如此。现在他们长大了，想看更多样的电影时，这个原则就没有那么严格了，但依然是比较坚定的。他们接触荷兰语的时间一贯且显著，即使他们已经开始上学了。
事实上，如果我不和他们用荷兰语交流作为默认语言，这一切是不会发生的。如果没有我讲荷兰语，他们的妈妈还是会说荷兰语，但我们就会在家里失去与英语的“斗争”。因为学习任何语言，关键是沉浸式学习。当你周围的一切，包括托儿所、朋友、学校、电视和其中一位父母都使用不同的语言时，你是无法沉浸在另一种语言中的。另一个父母无法提供足够的另一种语言暴露来弥补这种差距。在很多情况下，这几乎是不可能的，甚至是非常非常困难的。
所以，这是我为什么建议你应该学习中文的原因。因为你的孩子，甚至可能未来的孩子，如果你不学中文，他们非常非常不可能会流利地讲中文，而你真的希望他们能够流利。科学研究表明，孩子们必须每三分之一的时间接触另一种语言，才能够流利地说那种语言。如果只有一个父母说中文，这个比例实在太难达到。并不意味着孩子们不能说或理解那种语言，但他们极不可能流利。我女儿班里有个男孩，他有一个荷兰父亲和一个意大利母亲。他们分别用各自的语言和他及他的妹妹交流。他能理解两种语言吗？是的，大多数情况下能。他能说这两种语言吗？勉强可以。但他大部分时间不说。他在两种语言上都有一些基础，但他并不流利。他的妹妹也是如此。再说一次，养育三种语言的孩子并不是不可能的，但要达到每种语言三分之一的接触量真的非常非常难。这和只有一位父母讲某种语言时，双语也同样如此。
那么，怎么做呢？嗯，这真他妈的困难。这是我说的，毕竟荷兰语至少是用和英语相同的字母表写的。中文显然不是。我明白这完全是另一种挑战。但大多数步骤是相似的，你也会有一个优势，那就是更多的人说中文，而不是荷兰语。我买了在家学习的书籍和课程，也用了Duolingo，还上了些私人课，但真正的突破点是在做了两个连续的大学远程课程后。每个课程都是12周，那给我的荷兰语水平带来了突破。之后，我可以利用我自己练习和提高语言的动力，来增加自己接触语言的机会。对我来说这相当困难，因为这里几乎没有人说荷兰语。这迫使我每年去荷兰几次，让自己沉浸其中。你会发现这更容易，因为你住的地方肯定有一个或多个中文社区。所以，你可以定期去那里，坐在咖啡馆、酒吧之类的地方。然后和人们交谈，克服尴尬和害羞，继续努力。真的是很难克服自己的不安感去做这些，但你要做，因为这会让你变得更好。那些和你交谈的人会很喜欢你这么做，他们会非常愿意帮助你。我在荷兰遇到过很多荷兰人，他们看到我是一个努力学习荷兰语的英国人时，都会对我微笑、欢笑，给我充满热情的鼓励。最终，你会成功的。对于我来说，学习荷兰语花了大约六年，之后我和我的岳父母一起度过了一个假期，没有和他们讲一句英语。我现在依然这么做。事实上，我的岳父母很喜欢这个，尤其是我的岳母，她的英语很好，但她不喜欢说英语。我们只用荷兰语交流时，她就像变了一个人。你唯一不能做的就是依赖你的妻子来教你。她可以帮助你纠正，但不能成为你学习语言的主要来源。因为这样不会奏效。你们的关系是建立在英语之上的，你根本无法改变到足够的程度，来进行有效的学习。即便我流利到足够高的水平，我和妻子现在也很难在家里讲荷兰语，我们只在一起和孩子们说荷兰语时才讲。你必须找到其他主要的学习来源。但有个好处是，当你说出一个她没有想到你会说的传统中文表达时，你妻子的反应一定会很棒。
我不想说这很容易。它确实不容易。刚开始学习语言时，跨越最初的困难阶段真的很难。即使你已经掌握了某个水平，还是很难反复把自己置身于知道自己会犯错误、失败、让情况变得尴尬的情境中。但你必须继续下去，你会做到的。因为这是为了你的孩子。这是你可以送给他们的礼物，它将让他们以一种其他孩子永远无法体验的方式去拥抱他们的身份和文化。即使那些有着不同母语父母的孩子，通常也不会得到这个礼物。而把这个礼物送给你的孩子是一件非常特别的事情，看着他们掌握这门语言，你会感到无法言喻的骄傲。其次，流利（或者接近流利）地掌握另一种语言真的很酷，特别是当这门语言是你和你的家人共同的语言时。你知道作为一个会讲荷兰语的英国人在荷兰有多酷吗？你可能不知道，可能没法和作为一个会讲普通话的美国人在中国（或者你所在的中国城）相比，感受到那份酷。所以，这里的确是为了你孩子的未来做出的牺牲和努力，但这也是个人成长，因为最终，能说第二语言真的是一件非常棒的事，尤其是当那是你妻子的第二语言时。我没有时间讲述我在讲荷兰语时经历过的无数尴尬时刻，或者那些让我非常沮丧，甚至觉得永远也学不好荷兰语的时刻。但现在坐在这里，回头看，我认为这是我一生做过的最好的决定之一。对我的孩子们和我自己而言，可能是最好的。当我告诉别人，我学习荷兰语是为了能和我的孩子们用荷兰语交流时，我会得到很多赞扬。这很不错，但我为此付出的汗水和眼泪已经得到了回报，因为这对我的孩子们产生了非常明显的积极影响。对我来说，虽然说我会毫不犹豫地再做一次，但我承认这条路真的很难走。然而，最终，它是你能送给孩子们的最伟大的礼物，没有比这更重要的了。
学习普通话吧，阿鲁。
好的，现在服务器故障问题已经解决，我的胡言乱语也得以保留，让我重新回到这个学习中文的问题上。我认为你应该付出真正持续的努力去学习它。故事时间到了。
荷兰语是一门难学的语言。几乎没人说荷兰语，但荷兰人却能说好多其他语言，这其中是有原因的。我和我的妻子在一起的前十二年里，我几乎都没学过荷兰语。但当她怀上我们女儿的时候，我们不得不决定是否让我学习荷兰语。我们决定抚养我们的孩子们双语成长，这点没有争议。孩子们应该双语成长的原因有很多，从文化和身份的原因，到实际的发育益处，再到它让孩子们能够用他们母语和另一方家人交流的实际考虑。问题在于我是否也会参与其中。
有两个主要的理由让我没有选择学习荷兰语。首先，如果我和孩子们的默认语言是我的第二语言，我将无法像我想要的那样与他们沟通。当然，我可以随时用英语交流，但理想情况下这种情况应该是极其罕见的。第二是我的荷兰语会有错误，而你不希望孩子们学到这些错误。我孩子们每周六早上会去荷兰语学校。其他所有孩子的父母都是一方说荷兰语，一方说英语，而且说荷兰语的一方也没学好荷兰语。我是唯一一个学过荷兰语的人。你能猜到我孩子们的荷兰语水平和学校里其他孩子相比如何吗？
当然可以。我的孩子们是流利的。我的九岁女儿已经完全流利了。尽管我们不住在荷兰，她的荷兰语阅读水平大约领先她同龄人三岁。我们六岁的儿子虽然没有像姐姐那样自然流利，但在过去六个月左右的时间里，他有时让英语渗入了他的荷兰语中，但当他在荷兰，和其他荷兰人交流时，他会恢复到完全流利的状态，能够用荷兰语理解和沟通，和其他孩子也能自如交流。他的荷兰语阅读水平也领先实际年龄。所以，提到他没有姐姐流利，其实是挑剔的。他已经够流利了。当他们一起在家或者度假时，他们会用荷兰语交流。我们两岁的孩子显然还不会说话，但大约75%的词汇是荷兰语的。相比之下，荷兰语学校的其他孩子其实并不懂荷兰语。有些孩子说得多，有些孩子尽管还不够熟练，但在他们这个年纪能用外语说得比你想象的好，但他们并不流利。
为什么我的孩子们能够流利，而其他孩子不能？说“是我”有些简单，但答案是他们接触荷兰语的频率更高。其他孩子没有在家里持续说荷兰语。可能荷兰语的父母会和他们讲荷兰语，但他们并没有每天都在使用荷兰语。相比之下，我和我妻子和孩子们说的语言是荷兰语。一直都是。在家里，在外面。我昨天带着三个孩子去参加生日派对（哀悼我三个孩子连续三天的长时间养育体验），全程都用荷兰语和他们说话，即使周围有其他孩子用英语交流，我也和他们用荷兰语说。我对孩子们说英语的机会是非常罕见的，可能三到四个月才说一次。他们会用荷兰语互相交谈。在他们的成长过程中，我们一直用荷兰语给他们读故事，当他们开始学习阅读时，我们把荷兰语书籍和英语书籍混合在一起给他们读。当他们看《蓝色小精灵》或《汪汪队立大功》之类的节目时，我们有一个原则，就是让他们看荷兰语版，甚至电影也是如此。现在他们长大了，想看更多样的电影时，这个原则就没有那么严格了，但依然是比较坚定的。他们接触荷兰语的时间一贯且显著，即使他们已经开始上学了。
事实上，如果我不和他们用荷兰语交流作为默认语言，这一切是不会发生的。如果没有我讲荷兰语，他们的妈妈还是会说荷兰语，但我们就会在家里失去与英语的“斗争”。因为学习任何语言，关键是沉浸式学习。当你周围的一切，包括托儿所、朋友、学校、电视和其中一位父母都使用不同的语言时，你是无法沉浸在另一种语言中的。另一个父母无法提供足够的另一种语言暴露来弥补这种差距。在很多情况下，这几乎是不可能的，甚至是非常非常困难的。
所以，这是我为什么建议你应该学习中文的原因。因为你的孩子，甚至可能未来的孩子，如果你不学中文，他们非常非常不可能会流利地讲中文，而你真的希望他们能够流利。科学研究表明，孩子们必须每三分之一的时间接触另一种语言，才能够流利地说那种语言。如果只有一个父母说中文，这个比例实在太难达到。并不意味着孩子们不能说或理解那种语言，但他们极不可能流利。我女儿班里有个男孩，他有一个荷兰父亲和一个意大利母亲。他们分别用各自的语言和他及他的妹妹交流。他能理解两种语言吗？是的，大多数情况下能。他能说这两种语言吗？勉强可以。但他大部分时间不说。他在两种语言上都有一些基础，但他并不流利。他的妹妹也是如此。再说一次，养育三种语言的孩子并不是不可能的，但要达到每种语言三分之一的接触量真的非常非常难。这和只有一位父母讲某种语言时，双语也同样如此。
那么，怎么做呢？嗯，这真他妈的困难。这是我说的，毕竟荷兰语至少是用和英语相同的字母表写的。中文显然不是。我明白这完全是另一种挑战。但大多数步骤是相似的，你也会有一个优势，那就是更多的人说中文，而不是荷兰语。我买了在家学习的书籍和课程，也用了Duolingo，还上了些私人课，但真正的突破点是在做了两个连续的大学远程课程后。每个课程都是12周，那给我的荷兰语水平带来了突破。之后，我可以利用我自己练习和提高语言的动力，来增加自己接触语言的机会。对我来说这相当困难，因为这里几乎没有人说荷兰语。这迫使我每年去荷兰几次，让自己沉浸其中。你会发现这更容易，因为你住的地方肯定有一个或多个中文社区。所以，你可以定期去那里，坐在咖啡馆、酒吧之类的地方。然后和人们交谈，克服尴尬和害羞，继续努力。真的是很难克服自己的不安感去做这些，但你要做，因为这会让你变得更好。那些和你交谈的人会很喜欢你这么做，他们会非常愿意帮助你。我在荷兰遇到过很多荷兰人，他们看到我是一个努力学习荷兰语的英国人时，都会对我微笑、欢笑，给我充满热情的鼓励。最终，你会成功的。对于我来说，学习荷兰语花了大约六年，之后我和我的岳父母一起度过了一个假期，没有和他们讲一句英语。我现在依然这么做。事实上，我的岳父母很喜欢这个，尤其是我的岳母，她的英语很好，但她不喜欢说英语。我们只用荷兰语交流时，她就像变了一个人。你唯一不能做的就是依赖你的妻子来教你。她可以帮助你纠正，但不能成为你学习语言的主要来源。因为这样不会奏效。你们的关系是建立在英语之上的，你根本无法改变到足够的程度，来进行有效的学习。即便我流利到足够高的水平，我和妻子现在也很难在家里讲荷兰语，我们只在一起和孩子们说荷兰语时才讲。你必须找到其他主要的学习来源。但有个好处是，当你说出一个她没有想到你会说的传统中文表达时，你妻子的反应一定会很棒。
我不想说这很容易。它确实不容易。刚开始学习语言时，跨越最初的困难阶段真的很难。即使你已经掌握了某个水平，还是很难反复把自己置身于知道自己会犯错误、失败、让情况变得尴尬的情境中。但你必须继续下去，你会做到的。因为这是为了你的孩子。这是你可以送给他们的礼物，它将让他们以一种其他孩子永远无法体验的方式去拥抱他们的身份和文化。即使那些有着不同母语父母的孩子，通常也不会得到这个礼物。而把这个礼物送给你的孩子是一件非常特别的事情，看着他们掌握这门语言，你会感到无法言喻的骄傲。其次，流利（或者接近流利）地掌握另一种语言真的很酷，特别是当这门语言是你和你的家人共同的语言时。你知道作为一个会讲荷兰语的英国人在荷兰有多酷吗？你可能不知道，可能没法和作为一个会讲普通话的美国人在中国（或者你所在的中国城）相比，感受到那份酷。所以，这里的确是为了你孩子的未来做出的牺牲和努力，但这也是个人成长，因为最终，能说第二语言真的是一件非常棒的事，尤其是当那是你妻子的第二语言时。我没有时间讲述我在讲荷兰语时经历过的无数尴尬时刻，或者那些让我非常沮丧，甚至觉得永远也学不好荷兰语的时刻。但现在坐在这里，回头看，我认为这是我一生做过的最好的决定之一。对我的孩子们和我自己而言，可能是最好的。当我告诉别人，我学习荷兰语是为了能和我的孩子们用荷兰语交流时，我会得到很多赞扬。这很不错，但我为此付出的汗水和眼泪已经得到了回报，因为这对我的孩子们产生了非常明显的积极影响。对我来说，虽然说我会毫不犹豫地再做一次，但我承认这条路真的很难走。然而，最终，它是你能送给孩子们的最伟大的礼物，没有比这更重要的了。
学习普通话吧，阿鲁。
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I asked the thing to translate to Mandarin.
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My condolences.
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I literally just said "translate this to Mandarin".
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To be fair I only looked at a few characters.
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To be fair, it’s all Greek to me
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So we went to a meet the midwives session today, and we're pretty certain we're going to be going down that route instead of OB. One of the best birthing hospitals here has an excellent midwife program, and it's the hospital we were going to use anyway (and the midwives work in network of where both our PCPs are, even though the hospital is different).
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Ahhh, the fun of dealing with insurance and them trying to bill you for everything... I remember specifically on my first kid dealing with this constantly for months. What should be a time that you need to focus on yourselves becomes a bill chasing parade.
It was miserable but I reduced the overall cost from a little over $9000 to $800 but it took a lot of harrassing and complaining to Blue Cross.
My second one, my wife switched her doctor to a former client, and I don't think she ever submitted a bill. We joke with my younger daughter that the dog cost more than she did.
It was miserable but I reduced the overall cost from a little over $9000 to $800 but it took a lot of harrassing and complaining to Blue Cross.
My second one, my wife switched her doctor to a former client, and I don't think she ever submitted a bill. We joke with my younger daughter that the dog cost more than she did.
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My eldest’s first pediatrician billed almost every sick visit as a wellness visit so there was no charge. She wasn’t the best pediatrician, but she saved us a lot of money because my plan had coinsurance not copay at the time