Verdict Toilet paper: which direction is correct

[Ants!]

Overhand or underhand?

I have my opinions, but I'll keep them out of the first post. @Crazy Jamie can be first choice of Judge if he wishes to take the case. If not then as second choice I forcibly nominate @VashTheStampede against his will for no other reason than because I feel like it.

My recommendation is the judge selects from two volunteers to be the attorney for either side, then those attorneys do jury selection against those peoples will.

 

[Ants!]

I think sometimes bathrooms, and especially half baths, are made as small and cramped as possible to maximize the space in the rest of the house. So we end up with awkward placements for things.

I think the best solution is to have a standalone toilet paper holder like we have. I'll take a picture of it later when I'm home.

Also, who doesn't love it when you remove that center axle thing to replace the roll and the spring inside makes it fling apart in two halves and you have to go looking for where the other piece went

 

[Mark]

I'd like to supply the judge and jury with the following image, thusly complementing my earlier statement. Vis-à-vis. Concordantly. Ergo. [Insert fancy sounding word here].
View attachment 21374

What the absolute fuck is that? Then again, coming from the country that brought us IKEA, I’m not surprised. Your bathroom hardware probably came in a flat-pack box with an Allen key.

I think sometimes bathrooms, and especially half baths, are made as small and cramped as possible to maximize the space in the rest of the house. So we end up with awkward placements for things.

I think the best solution is to have a standalone toilet paper holder like we have. I'll take a picture of it later when I'm home.

Also, who doesn't love it when you remove that center axle thing to replace the roll and the spring inside makes it fling apart in two halves and you have to go looking for where the other piece went

…or, the slightly more rage-inducing “didn’t listen for the click, and now the roll shot across the room, the roller is now a javelin, and you now have half a roll of shit tickets on the floor” instance.

Fun times.

 

[Ants!]

*bangs eggplant *

The court will now take a brief recess, so everybody can have a bathroom break. Lawyers, I suggest this is a good opportunity to do some discovery.

 

[Smacktard]

I'd like to supply the judge and jury with the following image, thusly complementing my earlier statement. Vis-à-vis. Concordantly. Ergo. [Insert fancy sounding word here].
View attachment 21374

Have you ever been told your bathroom looks like a nice hotel bathroom?

 

[Ants!]

*bangs eggplant , which is a little softer and more limp than before the break*

Court is now back in session!

So, not it appears the neutral jury are looking for a third option. It is empty at the moment, but this is the standalone holder I was referring to before.

 

[Nae'blis]

What the absolute fuck is that? Then again, coming from the country that brought us IKEA, I’m not surprised. Your bathroom hardware probably came in a flat-pack box with an Allen key.

Have you ever been told your bathroom looks like a nice hotel bathroom?

Nope, never. But, thanks I guess!

 

[Ben]

*bangs eggplant , which is a little softer and more limp than before the break*

Court is now back in session!

So, not it appears the neutral jury are looking for a third option. It is empty at the moment, but this is the standalone holder I was referring to before.

View attachment 21375

My inner-child wants to hold that up like a rocket launcher, with that 'stock' against my shoulder.

 

[Nae'blis]

My inner-child wants to hold that up like a rocket launcher, with that 'stock' against my shoulder.

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Ants!]

It serves multiple purposes, including that.

 

[Jawneh]

Also, who doesn't love it when you remove that center axle thing to replace the roll and the spring inside makes it fling apart in two halves and you have to go looking for where the other piece went

Years ago, one of the kids was done going to the bathroom and wanted to replace the empty roll with a new one. Should be simple enough even for a small child. Well, somehow, he managed to have one half and the spring fly off straight I to the toilet.



.... none of the transaction was yet submitted.

 

[Ben]

My problem with my apartment is that two of the bathrooms feel logical to me, but the master bathroom has the roll holder on the opposite side to the others.

Feel's natural to pull with the left hand and karate chop with the right. This is true for 2/3 of my bathrooms.



Yet this one got me feeling like a clumsy ninja, pulling with the right and karate choppin' with my left, rarely resulting in a kill strike.



I don't poop in the master bedbathroom much.

 

[Ants!]

I don't poop in the master bedroom much.

That's good. It's generally ill-advised to poop in any of the rooms that don't have a toilet.

 

[Ben]

That's good. It's generally ill-advised to poop in any of the rooms that don't have a toilet.

 

[Jawneh]

 

[Ants!]

For a second I thought this was a new J D Vance thing.

 

[Nae'blis]

For a second I thought this was a new J D Vance thing.

Probably just a matter of time.

 

[Ben]

J D Vance

That stands for 'Juxtaposition Donut' Vance.

 

[The Flame]

At first I thought the bottom left panel was somebody sitting on the toilet upside down.

The legendary 11th position

 

[Jon]

The legendary 11th position
View attachment 21390

0 is my method

 

[Ben]

The legendary 11th position
View attachment 21390

My toddler would land somewhere between 2 and 6.

 

[Ants!]

I'm Definitely don't want to put any stress on that tank

 

[Ben]

I'm Definitely don't want to put any stress on that tank

Do you need the 12th 'hover poop' option?

 

[Jawneh]

The legendary 11th position
View attachment 21390

The evolutionary diagram of skibidi toilet.

 

[Ants!]

Do you need the 12th 'hover poop' option?

Anything on the bowl is fine, I just mean the back tank that stores water. It's not meant to support a persons weight and is connected to the bottom part by some bolts and a rubber gasket, so if you abuse it you make get leaks onto your floor.

Of course I realize this could just be me taking a meme too seriously. Lol

 

[Mark]

Anything on the bowl is fine, I just mean the back tank that stores water. It's not meant to support a persons weight and is connected to the bottom part by some bolts and a rubber gasket, so if you abuse it you make get leaks onto your floor.

Of course I realize this could just be me taking a meme too seriously. Lol

There’s no such thing as “too seriously” after you’ve replaced a toilet or two, which it sounds like you may have.

I understand why plumbers make as much as they do anytime I’ve had to.

 

[Ben]

taking a meme too seriously

 

[Zell 17]

I’d like to submit into evidence the original patent from 1891 showing it should be in the over position

https://patentimages.storage.googleapis.com/30/7c/4a/f68bbd4e64a160/US465588.pdf

Why isn’t the person who patented toilet paper richer than god

 

[shortkut]

Why isn’t the person who patented toilet paper richer than god

Because you can’t take it with you

 

[Jawneh]

Dude was probably mummified in TP.

 

[Mark]

Because you can’t take it with you

Which is ironic, considering you void your bowels when you die.

 

[Ants!]

I think we've heard enough deliberation. Before moving on to the next case on the docket, we need the jury to be locked in a room until they make a decision.

@shortkut
@Smacktard
@Jawneh
@Ben
@Nae'blis

What is your verdict? Overhand? Underhand? Or third option?

 

[shortkut]

Overhand

 

[Ben]

Overhand.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Overhand

 

[Jawneh]

Overhand, but the wife forces me to flip it underhand. ;[

 

[shortkut]

Overhand, but the wife forces me to flip it underhand. ;[

You need to say:

 

[Ben]

Overhand, but the wife forces me to flip it underhand. ;[

 

[Mark]

Overhand, but the wife forces me to flip it underhand. ;[

Are things okay at home? Blink if you need help.

 

[Ants!]

Three out of five jurors have spoken. Rather than risk a hung (lol) jury, we'll just rule Overhand and the case is closed.

 

[Mark]

Three out of five jurors have spoken. Rather than risk a hung (lol) jury, we'll just rule Overhand and the case is closed.

Fuck. Now I’m gonna have to do some work and make some prefixes for the threads here.

 

[Ants!]

You'll be alright.

 

[Mark]

You'll be alright.

No, I won’t be, because I’ve come up with one prefix for “Verdict” that I almost intentionally misspelled “Verdick” and that’s about the extent of my creativity since I haven’t brushed up on my legalese in a minute.

 

[Jawneh]

Are things okay at home? Blink if you need help.

Pretty good actually. The oldest kid starts work tomorrow. Hoping he likes his gig and sticks with it. It's real nice money for an almost adult kid with 0 work experience.

 

[Mark]

Pretty good actually. The oldest kid starts work tomorrow. Hoping he likes his gig and sticks with it. It's real nice money for an almost adult kid with 0 work experience.

Shit, I wasn’t expecting a serious answer. That’s great news, though. Hopefully it works out for him. Is it something that interests him? Or just a random wallet-filler?

 

[Jawneh]

Shit, I wasn’t expecting a serious answer. That’s great news, though. Hopefully it works out for him. Is it something that interests him? Or just a random wallet-filler?

Sometimes you gotta throw a curve ball lol.

More of a wallet filler for sure than anything that interests him, but the company is also real good. I think his starting pay was already like $18 or $19 an hour as basically pick & pack, with benefits, 401k, and more. If he moves elsewhere there to the manufacturing side, there's pretty decent money to be made.

 

[Mark]

Sometimes you gotta throw a curve ball lol.

More of a wallet filler for sure than anything that interests him, but the company is also real good. I think his starting pay was already like $18 or $19 an hour as basically pick & pack, with benefits, 401k, and more. If he moves elsewhere there to the manufacturing side, there's pretty decent money to be made.

That’s not a bad gig at all, dude. I remember the only benefit of my first job was a paycheck, so anything like healthcare and a retirement plan fresh out of high school sounds pretty sweet to me. It’ll help bridge the gap between coverage on the family plan and coverage as an adult.

 

[Quagmire]

Voting bidet.

Skip.

Gotta dry off...

 

[Quagmire]

View attachment 21352

.

 

[A Punched Face]

Gotta dry off...

Mine has air dry.

 

[Quagmire]

Mine has air dry.

Mr Fancy Pants