I was joking about it being a riveting anecdote, so I'll give you the brief version.
I assume you guys all have a container in your freezer that you pour grease in instead of pouring it down the drain. I was doing meal prep for the next two weeks and mine defrosted while I was baking some chicken. I forgot to screw the cap on tight, and when I picked it up by the cap, I knocked it over and marinated my counters, cupboards, and floor in a slurry of fresh and months-old butter, chicken grease, and Cajun spices.
Fun times.