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This News Doesn't Suck!
Everyone stop what you're doing! It's happening! GW's own Alu is having a baby!! Come and congratulate him here: Need some help identifying this picture.
We're so happy for you, Alu!
Campaign Stormwreck Isle; The Forgotten Clifftop Observatory (1-4a)
- Thread starter Ben
- Start date
- Status
OP
| As you remove the hexagonal key, the magical thrum in the air dissipates and the bridge vanishes from the space between you and the observatory.
You slide it into the other statue, and the same crackle of magic summons forth the bridge across to the main observatory. The statues do not produce different bridges, but do require the key be left inside the statue to function. |
Zesty places a hand on Boltzmann's head.
We have our answer, Boltz. We must remember to return this key to Runara somehow. But, for now, let us venture forth.
Zesty takes a deep sigh as he heads towards the locations the giant dragon flew. With Boltzmann in tow, he tightens the shoulder strap containing the hook holding his crossbow on his back, places a hand on the shortsword sheathed at his hip, and crosses the magical bridge toNarnia the Observatory.
Zesty crosses the bridge to the cracked door.
We have our answer, Boltz. We must remember to return this key to Runara somehow. But, for now, let us venture forth.
Zesty takes a deep sigh as he heads towards the locations the giant dragon flew. With Boltzmann in tow, he tightens the shoulder strap containing the hook holding his crossbow on his back, places a hand on the shortsword sheathed at his hip, and crosses the magical bridge to
Zesty crosses the bridge to the cracked door.
OP
OP
| As Zesty crosses the bridge of light and through the large wooden door that sits slightly ajar, the party round the corner of the path leading here and spot the glint of Boltzmann moving inside. |
| You enter the observatory to find a large central rotunda. Broken stone lines this plaza—fragments of elegant statues, once-magnificent pillars, and shining marble walls. At the center, a tall sculpture of rusted planets and gilded stars spins idly in a jerky mimicry of celestial motion.
A gargled screech suddenly rises from across the plaza. A half-dozen batlike creatures are swarming around two winged kobolds with blue paint smeared across their long snouts. The kobolds are fighting fiercely, but they seem close to being overwhelmed.
((Hit the ChatGPT usage cap trying to get this right, so you just get the last result I generated instead.))
((They should have dark brown/bronze scales and be warpainted, but... Yup.))
|| "AARGG! FUCKY SUCKERS!
MEK! WE NO CAN KILL TH-OW-THEM ALL!" |
((LOL! I assume these things aren't the size of gnats? 
))
The large rotunda catches Zesty by surprise. The magnificent structure almost taking the tiefling's breath away. Around the back of the rtunda, Zesty notices the two winged kobolds fighting off what look like vampire bats, almost. Zesty audibly gasps.
Boltz, we need to help these kobolds before the rest of the team arrives... they'll probably want to have tea and crumpets with the bugs after mutilating the kobolds!
Zesty springs to action, rushing forward, Boltzmann in in tow, drawing his shortsword.
Hold on, winged ones! Help is on the way!
Zesty draws his sword, moves forward to the nearest... stirge it looks like... and attempts a surprise attack on Stirge 1. Boltzmann takes up a flank position near Stirge 6.
((So couple things here. I'm not sure I can do a surprise attack here. If I can, let me know and I'll roll the appropriate rolls. Also, i have no idea if Boltzmann can, but he'll do one too if he can. I don't think he can, though. Lastly, i know Boltz can get to where I moved him on the map. For Zesty, it's a partial square, so if he can be there great, if not, feel free to move him properly.))
))The large rotunda catches Zesty by surprise. The magnificent structure almost taking the tiefling's breath away. Around the back of the rtunda, Zesty notices the two winged kobolds fighting off what look like vampire bats, almost. Zesty audibly gasps.
Boltz, we need to help these kobolds before the rest of the team arrives... they'll probably want to have tea and crumpets with the bugs after mutilating the kobolds!
Zesty springs to action, rushing forward, Boltzmann in in tow, drawing his shortsword.
Hold on, winged ones! Help is on the way!
Zesty draws his sword, moves forward to the nearest... stirge it looks like... and attempts a surprise attack on Stirge 1. Boltzmann takes up a flank position near Stirge 6.
((So couple things here. I'm not sure I can do a surprise attack here. If I can, let me know and I'll roll the appropriate rolls. Also, i have no idea if Boltzmann can, but he'll do one too if he can. I don't think he can, though. Lastly, i know Boltz can get to where I moved him on the map. For Zesty, it's a partial square, so if he can be there great, if not, feel free to move him properly.))
OP
((Moving your own character.((LOL! I assume these things aren't the size of gnats?
The large rotunda catches Zesty by surprise. The magnificent structure almost taking the tiefling's breath away. Around the back of the rtunda, Zesty notices the two winged kobolds fighting off what look like vampire bats, almost. Zesty audibly gasps.
Boltz, we need to help these kobolds before the rest of the team arrives... they'll probably want to have tea and crumpets with the bugs after mutilating the kobolds!
Zesty springs to action, rushing forward, Boltzmann in in tow, drawing his shortsword.
Hold on, winged ones! Help is on the way!
Zesty draws his sword, moves forward to the nearest... stirge it looks like... and attempts a surprise attack on Stirge 1. Boltzmann takes up a flank position near Stirge 6.
((So couple things here. I'm not sure I can do a surprise attack here. If I can, let me know and I'll roll the appropriate rolls. Also, i have no idea if Boltzmann can, but he'll do one too if he can. I don't think he can, though. Lastly, i know Boltz can get to where I moved him on the map. For Zesty, it's a partial square, so if he can be there great, if not, feel free to move him properly.))
And no, not gnat size. They're tiny creatures, with like a 1-2 foot wingspan. 4 would fit in 1 square.
And no sneak round, especially after you just screamed across the room and announced your presence. I'll let you move up to where you want, then combat will start.
Going to roll initiative.))
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OP
| Stirge 1 attempts to latch on to the first kobold, stabbing forward with its sharp proboscis.
Stirge 1 misses. |
| Winged Kobold 2 slices at the incoming stirge with it's dagger, flapping backwards slightly, and it manages to slice the parasite in half.
Winged Kobold 2 deals 4 points of slashing damage to Stirge 1.
Stirge 1 is defeated. |
| Winged Kobold 2 looks up at Zesty and Boltzmann approaching and chirps some surprised sound, then a second warning at it's almost twin counter-part.
"SKINNIES TOO!?"
It slices at Stirge 3, cutting the bat-bug-thing's wing and felling it.
Winged Kobold 2 deals 6 points of damage to Stirge 3.
Stirge 3 is defeated. |
| Stirge 4 attempts to hit Winged Kobold 1 but misses.
Stirge 5 dives at Winged Kobold 2, but it flaps out of the way.
Stirge 7 collides with Winged Kobold 1 and latches on, stabbing it's needle-like mouth into the creature's flesh and immediately beginning to drain blood from it.
Stirge 7 deals 2 points of piercing damage to Winged Kobold 1 and attaches itself.
"FUCK! GET IT OFF!", the kobold screams.
Stirge 6 misses.
Stirge 2 misses.|
((@Jon Zesty's turn.))
OP
Aims gets over to the magical bridge with the other lads. The trek over somehow made him crave tea and crumpets. That feeling quickly went away as the glimmering bridge caught his attention and amazement.
What in the blazes is this? Whoa, you guys seeing this?! Its like a bridge, but... shiny! I wonder what it does.
What in the blazes is this? Whoa, you guys seeing this?! Its like a bridge, but... shiny! I wonder what it does.
OP
| Your sword trills through the air and cleaves clean through Stirge 6, which falls in two halves to the floor.
You deal 7 points of slashing damage to Stirge 6.
Stirge 6 is defeated.
Boltzmann jumps up and bites at the flying monsters catching two of them at once.
Boltzmann deals 9 points of damage to stirge 5 and 8.
Stirge 5 and 8 are defeated. |
| Winged Kobold 2 screams as it grabs Stirge 7 attached to it's shoulder, and rips the parasite free.
It throws the small monster down and quickly swoops to pick up a rock, lifting it and dropping it on the little creature in a smooth action.
Winged Kobold 2 deals 8 points of bludgeoning damage to Stirge 7. |
| Winged Kobold 1 slashes at Stirge 2 with it's dagger.
Winged Kobold 1 deals 6 points of slashing damage to Stirge 2. |
| Stirge 4 darts around the kobold and straight at Zesty's face.
However, as it does, it leaves Winged Kobold 1's reach and invokes an attack of opportunity. The kobold deftly swings forward just as the stirge is about to leave it's reach, and skewers the gross thing.
Winged Kobold 1 deals 6 points of slashing damage to Stirge 4. |
((The stirges have all been defeated.))
| With the last of the bloodsucking rats dead, the kobolds collapse to the ground and pant heavily. You see dozens of puncture wounds over their bodies, from constant stirge attacks overwhelming the winged creatures.
"Owwwww. Big ouch. Minn, you still have heal potion?"
The other kobold shakes its head dejectedly |
OP
OP
Zesty kneels at the feet of the two injured kobolds and rummages his backpack. He pulls out the potion of healing he's been holding onto since Tarak had given it to him.
You two are gravely injured. I do not have two potions, but you are welcome to split this one I have remaining. Perhaps your small sizes will both be able to benefit from this one. A friend called Tarak made this for me. He is a fantastic potion maker and I have no doubt this will help you both at least get back onto your feet.
Zesty hands the Potion of Healing to the nearest kobold.
((EDIT - Preemptive post button; had another small part to add.))
Zesty hears the sound of the plodding steps of his half-cocked dwarf friend and turns his head to see Short Order and Nac standing near the entrance.
If you lot have come to harm either of these kobolds, you will have me to deal with.
Still gripping his sword, Zesty glares in their direction as Boltzmann lets out a low growl in their direction.
You two are gravely injured. I do not have two potions, but you are welcome to split this one I have remaining. Perhaps your small sizes will both be able to benefit from this one. A friend called Tarak made this for me. He is a fantastic potion maker and I have no doubt this will help you both at least get back onto your feet.
Zesty hands the Potion of Healing to the nearest kobold.
((EDIT - Preemptive post button; had another small part to add.))
Zesty hears the sound of the plodding steps of his half-cocked dwarf friend and turns his head to see Short Order and Nac standing near the entrance.
If you lot have come to harm either of these kobolds, you will have me to deal with.
Still gripping his sword, Zesty glares in their direction as Boltzmann lets out a low growl in their direction.
But you did kill...something... Right? Because that's a plus.
Noticing Aims living up to his superior intelligence
I cast YOU CAN WALK OVER THE SHINY THING on you. You can now fly but only on that shiny looking thing and it'll feel like walking.
Aims perks up as he hears Short "casting a spell" on him.
Ohhhh, nice! Thank you! I dont know what i would've done without that!
Just before he starts on the bridge, he notices the big statues on the sides. And seemingly one of them has something shiny stuck inside of it in a hole, but not the other.
Hmm, curious. I wonder what this thing is inside here...it looks valuable though. I wonder why the others didnt take it.
Ohhhh, nice! Thank you! I dont know what i would've done without that!
Just before he starts on the bridge, he notices the big statues on the sides. And seemingly one of them has something shiny stuck inside of it in a hole, but not the other.
Hmm, curious. I wonder what this thing is inside here...it looks valuable though. I wonder why the others didnt take it.
OP
| You hand your healing potion over to the two kobolds and they each take a small drink from it, giving neither the full effect but seeming to fix the worst of their wounds.
Both kobolds regain 5 HP
They slowly get to their feet and look up at you, and across the hall to the others coming into the Observatory.|
| "Me not know where you come from, soft skin, but you got good timing!" |
| "FUCKING STIRGES. We hates them. HATES!"
The kobold starts to stamp on one of the felled parasites.
"Well, thanks, Mister." |
| "We need finish work, Mek. Almost ready!" |
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OP
| Moonsprout gets up from kissing the pretty bridge, noticing Aims' curiousity in the moonstone key, and scrambles to his feet. The bard begins sprinting, albeit in slow-motion, towards the observatory door. |
I am glad to be of assistance, little one. My name is Zesty. This, is Boltzmann. Zesty tells the pair while patting his steel defender's head. We've come from Dragon's Rest to the north looking for someone. Might you tell me your names and a little about this place?
While speaking to the kobolds, Zesty sheaths his sword at his hip. He also is trying to size up to two small kobolds to see if there is anything about them that stands out and he can use to speak to them.
Zesty attempts to size up the kobolds.
((@Ben not sure if you want a check here, history, perception, or something else. Just let me know.
))
While speaking to the kobolds, Zesty sheaths his sword at his hip. He also is trying to size up to two small kobolds to see if there is anything about them that stands out and he can use to speak to them.
Zesty attempts to size up the kobolds.
((@Ben not sure if you want a check here, history, perception, or something else. Just let me know.
))
OP
((You can gimme Insight.))I am glad to be of assistance, little one. My name is Zesty. This, is Boltzmann. Zesty tells the pair while patting his steel defender's head. We've come from Dragon's Rest to the north looking for someone. Might you tell me your names and a little about this place?
While speaking to the kobolds, Zesty sheaths his sword at his hip. He also is trying to size up to two small kobolds to see if there is anything about them that stands out and he can use to speak to them.
Zesty attempts to size up the kobolds.
((@Ben not sure if you want a check here, history, perception, or something else. Just let me know.
Aims starts to reach at the gem, resolved to pull it out.
| Moonsprout gets up from kissing the pretty bridge, noticing Aims' curiousity in the moonstone key, and scrambles to his feet. The bard begins sprinting, albeit in slow-motion, towards the observatory door. |
... his finger tips almost brushing against it already.
OP
| You're feeling particularly obtuse today, and it takes you far too long to realize the two kobolds have said their names a half dozen times already.
This is Mek and Minn, Myla's siblings. |
| The kobold spits on the ground, "Ptuh, Dragon Rest full of pussies. They not help save sister. |
| "Yeah! Fuck 'em. We find strong dragon now!" |
| Both kobolds high-five each other and in unison declare "Sparkrender!" |
((@Smacktard roll me a DEX-Acrobatics, sir.))
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Mek and Minn... Myla will be pleased you are still alive! Your sister is at Dragon's Rest and doing well. She's quite the inventor! She was able to create a mechanical wing for herself, in addition to several other inventions. Including this one she gifted to me!
Excitedly, Zesty pulls his crossbow to the front to show the two kobolds the bolus attachment made by Myla.
As an inventor myself, I became quite taken with Myla's work. When our travels put us on path back to Dragon's Rest, I make sure to check in with your sister. Her spirits remain quite high! I can relay a message to her on your behalf, should you like, but I think a visit from the two of you would bring her much joy.
Excitedly, Zesty pulls his crossbow to the front to show the two kobolds the bolus attachment made by Myla.
As an inventor myself, I became quite taken with Myla's work. When our travels put us on path back to Dragon's Rest, I make sure to check in with your sister. Her spirits remain quite high! I can relay a message to her on your behalf, should you like, but I think a visit from the two of you would bring her much joy.
OP
|"Myla... Alive? We all attacked by FUCKING STIRGES, Myla swarmed, could no get all them off. Had to leave her behind." |
|"Runara not do nothing. We leave Dragon Rest and join dragon not afraid to fight!" |
| The two kobolds high-five again,
"Sparkrender!" |
| "We not going back there. But tell Myla we happy she alive, and sorry..." |
OP
|
You start to run. The smile that initially graced your face as you thought Aims was joking falls away to sheer terror, knowing that you'd somehow not prepared your feather fall spell. Your brisk walk turns into a flat out sprint towards the landing and the doorway of the observatory beyond.
You're close. You can see the weathered bricks offering sanctuary.
You trip. You fall forward about 6 feet shy of the landing, and you impact hard upon your dick. |
| You pull out the Moonstone key. |
| shaped dagger handle. There is a "click" just before the magical thrum cuts out and the shimmering bridge disappears from beneath you.
All of your admittedly small weight is suddenly bent over the thick rod you've been carrying around in your pants. It now presses up into your stomach as you struggle frantically not to shift balance and cause yourself to fall, despite the confusion and pain.
You scream a startled "WHAT THE COCK?" |
| You look at the moonstone key and let out a "Huh. This looks like the one Runara gave us.", then after several attempts to rotate the peg the right way to get it in the hole, you insert the key back into the statue. |
| The bridge pulses back to life and you feel your weight being thrust up and clear as the magical energy rushes past to form a 'path' where your limbs had been. You note the dropped dick not being thrown upward, despite the force you yourself are experiencing, but as the immaterial path of the bridge reforms you hear a second "click" and the shaft rolls across the bridge surface slightly, towards the edge.
|
Well, I say it's a waste of a nice gem to leave in a hole like that. Oh well.
Hey druid! The spell is spell working right?
Aims creeps closer to the beginning of thr bridge and carefully leans over to look down through the bridge. It's a good distance down to the drink below. The usually brave half-orc let's out a comically loud gulp before slowly reaching out with his foot to poke the magical bridge. To his surprise, it feels solid. He steps on it and it does hold his weight! A miracle! Hahaha!
This is amazing! I never knew i could fly like this! Kind of... boring, but... oh well.
He starts walking towards the observatory, passing Moonsprout on the way.
Hey, you shouldnt lay there on the bridge. That could be dangerous.
Hey druid! The spell is spell working right?
Aims creeps closer to the beginning of thr bridge and carefully leans over to look down through the bridge. It's a good distance down to the drink below. The usually brave half-orc let's out a comically loud gulp before slowly reaching out with his foot to poke the magical bridge. To his surprise, it feels solid. He steps on it and it does hold his weight! A miracle! Hahaha!
This is amazing! I never knew i could fly like this! Kind of... boring, but... oh well.
He starts walking towards the observatory, passing Moonsprout on the way.
Hey, you shouldnt lay there on the bridge. That could be dangerous.
Aims shrugs.
Anything and everything? Hahahaa! One never knows. Just get at it head on and find out. But to be perfectly fair, I'm getting a little bit hungry. I could eat something right now.
He reaches back to the side of his backpack where the kobolt leggy from before was strapped onto to slowly bleed out as they walked. While holding it by the ankle and muttering out loud what way he would want to prepare it, him and Moonsprout get in the view of everyone else, including the two other kobolts.
Anything and everything? Hahahaa! One never knows. Just get at it head on and find out. But to be perfectly fair, I'm getting a little bit hungry. I could eat something right now.
He reaches back to the side of his backpack where the kobolt leggy from before was strapped onto to slowly bleed out as they walked. While holding it by the ankle and muttering out loud what way he would want to prepare it, him and Moonsprout get in the view of everyone else, including the two other kobolts.
OP
((But why male models?))
((Apparently I fell asleep before posting this last night... lolz. Go go gadget Draft mode! Gotta retcon a little of it since we've made some progress.))
I will certainly tell her. Zesty tells Mek.
With the two looking ready to finish whatever they were prior, Zesty is finally taking a moment to search the room. Scanning the far side, Nac and Short Order are still by the entrance. He can catch a glimpse of Moonsprout being Moonsprout on the bridge, and Aims' not far behind. Near him and the kobolds appears to be a rubble pile of some sort.
At this point, Nac speaks to Zesty, who, though still agitated, is in fairly better spirits than the prior battle, having found Myla's brothers. He walks over to the drunken monken and gnomey womey. Zesty responds, a little more deadpan than usual.
It is Mek and Minn. They are the borthers of Myla from Dragon's Rest. They are NOT enemies, so do NOT attack them.
He says the last part loud enough so that even Aims' and Moonsprout entering from the bridge can hear him. His eyes roll heavily as he sees Aims' chomping down on a kobold leg, as he turns back to the middle of the room.
Unbelievable...
Continuing, or beginning, depending on perspective, he eyes the obvious. The middle of the room houses an odd, astral looking device ((going by the image in the map)) that a planetarium Zesty once saw had.
Zesty tries to recall if he has ever seen/read anything like this object before.
I will certainly tell her. Zesty tells Mek.
With the two looking ready to finish whatever they were prior, Zesty is finally taking a moment to search the room. Scanning the far side, Nac and Short Order are still by the entrance. He can catch a glimpse of Moonsprout being Moonsprout on the bridge, and Aims' not far behind. Near him and the kobolds appears to be a rubble pile of some sort.
At this point, Nac speaks to Zesty, who, though still agitated, is in fairly better spirits than the prior battle, having found Myla's brothers. He walks over to the drunken monken and gnomey womey. Zesty responds, a little more deadpan than usual.
It is Mek and Minn. They are the borthers of Myla from Dragon's Rest. They are NOT enemies, so do NOT attack them.
He says the last part loud enough so that even Aims' and Moonsprout entering from the bridge can hear him. His eyes roll heavily as he sees Aims' chomping down on a kobold leg, as he turns back to the middle of the room.
Unbelievable...
Continuing, or beginning, depending on perspective, he eyes the obvious. The middle of the room houses an odd, astral looking device ((going by the image in the map)) that a planetarium Zesty once saw had.
Zesty tries to recall if he has ever seen/read anything like this object before.
OP
| "We need finish eff... effig... statues. Then we can take you SPARKRENDER! If you want."
The kobold shifts and you see that they have crudely sculpted five chunks of rubble into vaguely draconic shapes and splashed each one with paint, and the kobolds were in the process of arranging these effigies around the metal sculpture. |
| The sculpture in the center of the rotunda is an astronomical model used for research in centuries past.
((Gimme INT-Arcana for more info)) |
OP
| The sculpture depicts the planet of Toril, its moon (Selûne), the sun, and seven other planets, as well as one comet with a very eccentric orbit.
You puzzle over the sculpture for a few minutes, then realize it's movements foretell that the comet will soon pass by Toril.
The crude effigies that the kobolds have constructed have names carved into their bases; Astalagan, Clyssavar, Eldenemir, Sharruth, and Turadaer. |
OP
((Uhhh, you could do History. Or just try asking the kobolds...))
Short Order tried to remember the history of the various colors/orders of dragons
After remembering what he can, he asks to the kobolds
What is it you know about the dragons of this land and their history? I'd love to hear what you think and why you are so favorable to Sparkrender.
((Doing both to see if I remember something that differs from their opinions))
After remembering what he can, he asks to the kobolds
What is it you know about the dragons of this land and their history? I'd love to hear what you think and why you are so favorable to Sparkrender.
((Doing both to see if I remember something that differs from their opinions))
OP
Short Order
@An Obligatory Name Change
@An Obligatory Name Change
| "Boss dragon told us make dragon statues! For ritual! We paint them colors!"
Mek hops over to the constructions of stone and gestures at the first.
"Assdragon!" |
| "Astalagan. Bronze." |
| "Chlamydia!" |
| "Clyssavar. Gold." |
| "Eldenring!" |
| "Eldenemir. Blue." |
| "Sharron!" |
| "Sharruth. Red." |
| "Turadaer!" |
| "Turad-wait, that one was right. Brass.
We not know what boss SPARKRENDER need them for, but we do what him ask!" |
| "Him strong. Gonna be stronger! He not would let sister get hurt to begin with!" |
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