Simpsons Quote Thread!

[BigDaddy]

Lisa, please, everyone's already figured that out!

 

[Nae'blis]

Do all Simpsons go through a process of dumbening?

 

[shortkut]

I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean, S-M-A-R-T.

 

[TD]

Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells.

 

[Nae'blis]

I hope I didn't brain my damage!

 

[Tubby23]

You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

 

[TD]

Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip.

 

[Tubby23]

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

 

[shortkut]

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead

 

[BigDaddy]

I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead

Maude, eh?

 

[Nae'blis]

Rhetorical, eh?

 

[Cole]

Rhetorical, eh?

8!

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Apu told me all eight babies have colic. Although he thinks one or two might just be going along with the crowd.

 

[Cole]

Apu told me all eight babies have colic. Although he thinks one or two might just be going along with the crowd.

who the hell is "Margaret" Simpson?

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Le grille? What the hell is that?!

 

[Cole]

ZE GOGGLES. ZEY DO NOTHING

 

[TD]

UP AND AT THEM!

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Upon further inspection, these are loafers.

 

[Tubby23]

Former gophers - it was that or skin my chaffeurs

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Badger my ass, it's probably just Milhouse.

 

[shortkut]

Everything’s coming up Milhouse

 

[Tubby23]

Trust me, Bart, it’s better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

 

[BigDaddy]

I saw Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and the baby looked at me.

 

[Nae'blis]

Kids are the best. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the internet and all.

 

[TD]

The key to parenting is don't overthink it because overthinking leads to... what were we talking about?

 

[BigDaddy]

I'm sorry, we were talking about chocolate?

 

[Nae'blis]

Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!

 

[shortkut]

For your information, I am the white chocolate rabbit.

 

[Tubby23]

Nothing gets chocolate out

 

[Cole]

Who can take your trash out?
Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy too.

The garbage man...

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Alright! Trash cookies! ...I think I swallowed a dog food lid.

 

[Cole]

Alright! Trash cookies! ...I think I swallowed a dog food lid.

the ring came off my pudding can!

 

[Tubby23]

My pudding is trapped forever!

 

[shortkut]

My pudding is trapped forever!

There's only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!

 

[Nae'blis]

Slow down. The sidewalk's for walking, not fancy walking.

 

[BigDaddy]

There was something strange about the way he walked. Much more vertical than usual.

 

[Cole]

There was something strange about the way he walked. Much more vertical than usual.

THAT DOG BAS A PUFFY TAIL!

 

[Nae'blis]

My cat's name is Mittens!

 

[BigDaddy]

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

 

[TD]

When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind?

 

[Tubby23]

Get that cat out of the way!

 

[Cole]

Get that cat out of the way!

there's a lemon behind that rock!

 

[Tubby23]

there's a lemon behind that rock!

Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

I don't want any damn vegetables.

 

[shortkut]

Wait a minute. Is this the biggest steak you've got? Seventy-two ounces? I thought this was supposed to be a steakhouse, not a little girly, underpantsy, pink doily, tea-party place.

 

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Please take this fry basket off my head, it's very hot

 

[Tubby23]

If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you

 

[BigDaddy]

This is because I kicked you, isn't it?

 

[Tubby23]

I'm going to start kicking air

 

[Cole]

Please take this fry basket off my head, it's very hot

mm unkey Tom? the soda is too cold my TEEFS hurt