Ben Wolf Paranormal Post-Mortem

[Ben]

swordfighting

Just 'swordfighting' with the dudes. Normal Saturday.

You'd better be using flushable wipes, home slice.

 

[Jon]

Just 'swordfighting' with the dudes. Normal Saturday.

You'd better be using flushable wipes, home slice.

I've switched almost exclusively to finishing with a flushable wipe. I don't own a bidet and it's the closest thing I can have to feeling confidently clean down there.

 

[Ants!]

You'd better be using flushable wipes, home slice.

No such thing. Even if they say flushable on the package, don't flush those things.

 

[dimmerwit]

If everyone in America switched to using a bidet it would save 15 million trees a year.

 

[A Baby Maker]

If everyone in America switched to using a bidet it would save 15 million trees a year.

 

[dimmerwit]

You're lucky you're having a child otherwise your name would become Anal Douche.

 

[Mark]

I get that. We all have a type. That's not the same as gay/hetero though.

It’s not, but, it’s the “right” heterosexual answer. I don’t need to invalidate my gay buddies to validate my heterosexuality, you know? There’s no need for that “if you like (this) you’re (that)” as if either are bad just because they’re not what I would choose for myself. I know a dude that exclusively dates buff women. More power to him. Have fun on that triathlon, I’ll be chillin.

Also I should mention that occasionally I use my sons diaper wipes on myself instead of regular TP, if I feel the need to treat myself or feel fancy

There ain’t nothing wrong with having a sparkling clean asshole on the regular. Treat yo self.

Actually, now I'm remembering a time when I had my brothers and a bunch of friends at my house (back in our swordfighting days) and I don't know how the conversation came up, but somehow I mentioned that I actually washed my ass in the shower, and everybody reacted like I admitted doing the weirdest and most bizarre thing ever. Like it was seriously a strange and alien concept to everyone in the room, they couldn't imagine why anyone would wash there. And I'm like...seriously? It's easily the dirtiest part of your body. Yall don't wash there and I'm somehow the weird one?

Nah, that’s a strange concept to me. I’ve always been big on hygiene, and we used to rag on people that were dirty and hook up kids who couldn’t afford soap with what they needed. One of the perks of growing up on the shitty side of town was the compassion AND the bullying. If someone was still a crudball after being given the means, then, they were fair game. There was always some old lady telling us to wash under our nails, behind our ears, our asses, etc. when we were kids. The ones that didn’t have that instilled in them had it drilled in their brain from their friends.

That was about 16 years ago. I wonder if any of them have evolved had a clean ass since then.

There, fixed it for you.

 

[A Baby Maker]

You're lucky you're having a child otherwise your name would become Anal Douche.

That name breaks rule #2

 

[Ants!]

If everyone in America switched to using a bidet it would save 15 million trees a year.

I've been wanting one for a while.

It’s not, but, it’s the “right” heterosexual answer. I don’t need to invalidate my gay buddies to validate my heterosexuality, you know? There’s no need for that “if you like (this) you’re (that)” as if either are bad just because they’re not what I would choose for myself. I know a dude that exclusively dates buff women. More power to him. Have fun on that triathlon, I’ll be chillin.

I agree that it's disgusting that "gay" is still used as an insult. Like even if these weird little rules were true, and liking a particular thing made you gay, so what? They say that like it's somehow a bad thing to be gay, basically outing themselves to me as homophobic.

But still, saying being attracted to someone of the opposite sex because they have defined muscles makes you gay, is just stupid.

 

[Ben]

That name breaks rule #2

But it cleans hole #2

 

[Ants!]

That name breaks rule #2

Lol #2

 

[Ants!]

Damn it Ben

 

[Mark]

Hey, look, another thread about buttholes.

 

[Ben]

Damn it Ben

 

[Ants!]

Almost looks like the shocker.

 

[Ants!]

Hey, look, another thread about buttholes.

Thread is still evolving. Though somehow we're still doing dinosaurs.

 

[Ben]

Almost looks like the shocker.

 

[Mark]

Thread is still evolving. Though somehow we're still doing dinosaurs.

“Doing dinosaurs” is offensive to our older members.

You.

And @Jon.

 

[Ants!]

Dinosaurs have needs too.

 

[Ben]

When you try to use dinosaur LORA for AI models, you'll... See some shit. Even trying to hide all "furry" content, it gets through.

 

[Jon]

“Doing dinosaurs” is offensive to our older members.

You.

And @Jon.

I think I'm older than Ants. And my name used to be t-bone.

I don't know which of us has it worse.

 

[Ben]

I cannot lie, all the "I'm old!" posts make me feel slightly better about the rapidly multiplying number of gray hairs I have.

 

[dimmerwit]

33 here lol.

 

[Ben]

 

[Fool's Requiem]

33 here lol.

I, too, am 33.

 

[dimmerwit]

You can if you believe.

 

[Jon]

33 here lol.

I, too, am 33.

Fuck you both.

 

[Ben]

Fuck you both.

One member always lies. One member always tells the truth.

 

[Jon]

One member always lies. One member always tells the truth.

View attachment 27805

Well when I ask them both a question and they share an answer I'll be sure to accept the opposite as truth. In this case you indicate they are both 66 since the opposite of 33 is clearly 66.

 

[Mark]

I cannot lie, all the "I'm old!" posts make me feel slightly better about the rapidly multiplying number of gray hairs I have.

Rapid is an understatement. Seems like my beard is going grayer by the day.

 

[Ben]

Rapid is an understatement. Seems like my beard is going grayer by the day.

The other night, my partner spent at least 5 minutes pointing to a solitary gray hair on my cheek, saying something to the effect of "awwww look at the little kitty whisker".

I shaved quite promptly.

 

[Mark]

The other night, my partner spent at least 5 minutes pointing to a solitary gray hair on my cheek, saying something to the effect of "awwww look at the little kitty whisker".

I shaved quite promptly.

Revenge is quite sweet. You’re a tall gentleman, it puts you at a great vantage to point out grays in her head. That is… of course… if you’re expected to be a bastard. Her and I habitually trash talk each other, so, it’s perfectly acceptable in our relationship, whereas some people get their feelings hurt.

 

[Benzine]

33 here lol.

you're older than me loser

 

[dimmerwit]

Get back in the play pen!

 

[Benzine]

@Fire Queen who's older again

 

[Mark]

@Fire Queen who's older again

Certainly not her. She’s probably still years away from the first gray.

 

[Ben]

Certainly not her. She’s probably still years away from the first gray.

Read that as "first grade".

 

[Fool's Requiem]

when I can grow out my facial hair, it looks like I have crumbs in my stache.

 

[Benzine]

Certainly not her. She’s probably still years away from the first gray.

i think we are the same age

i have a couple of grey beard hairs

i also have one of. those funny white hairs that grows in a random place. mine is on my forehead, like a flaccid unicorn.

 

[dimmerwit]

She is 20 May 1992. It's on her profile, but I remember because it's exactly a year after me.

 

[Ants!]

I started getting gray hair at 17. Now it's all over the place.

 

[Mark]

i think we are the same age

i have a couple of grey beard hairs

i also have one of. those funny white hairs that grows in a random place. mine is on my forehead, like a flaccid unicorn.

“A Flaccid Unicorn” sounds like some kinda punk band.

I started getting gray hair at 17. Now it's all over the place.

I had a few strays pop up in my early 20’s, but, those were those obvious “mutated” follicles where the hair would stick straight out… kinda like those weird ones that stab right through your sock if you have hobbit hair on your feet like I do.

 

[shortkut]

Most of my grays are on the chin part of my beard. I got a few gray chest hairs and my wife promptly made fun of me

 

[Mark]

Most of my grays are on the chin part of my beard. I got a few gray chest hairs and my wife promptly made fun of me

View attachment 27823

Man, I could give a shit less about having gray hairs, but I’d sure like some uniformity with it like that. I have more grays on my left side than my right side, from driving I assume.

 

[Ants!]

Most of my grays are on the chin part of my beard. I got a few gray chest hairs and my wife promptly made fun of me

View attachment 27823

My beard is hella salt and pepper now. It's actually kinda cool because it's in sections rather than sprinkled throughout, like the bottom of my chin is gray but the sides are still brown, so I'm striped like a badger. I love it.

Man, I could give a shit less about having gray hairs,

Same, I actually like mine. Always did. Just wish it didn't start thinning. That sucked for me and took me a while to get over, because I had long hair since the 7th grade and I loved having shoulder-length hair.

Now I'm like "okay god, fine, take the hair. Just as long as you don't take away the erections."

 

[Mark]

Same, I actually like mine. Always did. Just wish it didn't start thinning. That sucked for me and took me a while to get over, because I had long hair since the 7th grade and I loved having shoulder-length hair.

Now I'm like "okay god, fine, take the hair. Just as long as you don't take away the erections."

I didn’t realize I had thinning hair until probably 2-3 years ago, when my 5ft girlfriend finally got to see what’s going on up there one day while helping shave my head, and promptly pointed it out to me. I never wore hats except for beanies, and haven’t had long enough hair to notice since I was 15. @Ben is one of the few people in the world that still has evidence that I had long hair.



I’ll be honest, I kinda wish the rest of the hair on my head would fall out, it would eliminate the need to shave my head weekly.

 

[Ben]

I didn’t realize I had thinning hair until probably 2-3 years ago, when my 5ft girlfriend finally got to see what’s going on up there one day while helping shave my head, and promptly pointed it out to me. I never wore hats except for beanies, and haven’t had long enough hair to notice since I was 15. @Ben is one of the few people in the world that still has evidence that I had long hair.

View attachment 27826

I’ll be honest, I kinda wish the rest of the hair on my head would fall out, it would eliminate the need to shave my head weekly.

I believe you, dude.

Edit: who knew these Photoshops were archival footage?

 

[Ants!]

I didn’t realize I had thinning hair until probably 2-3 years ago, when my 5ft girlfriend finally got to see what’s going on up there one day while helping shave my head, and promptly pointed it out to me. I never wore hats except for beanies, and haven’t had long enough hair to notice since I was 15. @Ben is one of the few people in the world that still has evidence that I had long hair.

View attachment 27826

I’ll be honest, I kinda wish the rest of the hair on my head would fall out, it would eliminate the need to shave my head weekly.

I didn't know mine was falling out until I was 29 years old. I had cut it short for the first time since seventh grade, because I thought it would help me get a job. I planned to grow it long again once I was hired, But then my ex-wife who was just my girlfriend at the time began to notice I was thinning on top. I was in denial about it for about a year or two after that, but then I just kept it short once I faced reality. And the more it thinned up top, the shorter I kept it on the sides, until I eventually just kept the whole thing shaved.

 

[Mark]

View attachment 27828
View attachment 27827

I believe you, dude.

Edit: who knew these Photoshops were archival footage?

We knew one day they’d be…

Or part of some really strange In Memoriam post.

I didn't know mine was falling out until I was 29 years old. I had cut it short for the first time since seventh grade, because I thought it would help me get a job. I planned to grow it long again once I was hired, But then my ex-wife who was just my girlfriend at the time began to notice I was thinning on top. I was in denial about it for about a year or two after that, but then I just kept it short once I faced reality. And the more it thinned up top, the shorter I kept it on the sides, until I eventually just kept the whole thing shaved.

I just never had the patience to style my hair or anything. My long hair was just all grown out, no trims beyond dead ends. My shaved head is with no guard, all the way around. I go for the simplest route possible because I have zero style and zero fashion sense. Do I care what haircut looks right for the shape of my head? Nope. Gonna look like a goofball regardless.

 

[Jon]

We've somehow turn the post mortem into 10 pages of.... I don't even know. I stopped reading.

@Ben - Split this too. You're now officially our "threads are for on topic only" officer. Get to work parsing anything not topic related from every thread.