Other Need some help identifying this picture

[dimmerwit]

Make sure in a few years to terrorise your child by pretending to steal their candy and broadcast it on national television.

 

[Christina]

Our fun Halloween tradition was the Sugar Goblin. He's like elf on the shelf but for Halloween. I disliked elf on the shelf because I feel like kids should learn to be good even when somebody is not watching, not because somebody is watching. Anyways, the sugar goblin needs candy for food for the year, so he shows up and does tricks for treats before Halloween. Theres a whole story book to read. The kid goes trick or treating and when they get back you sit down and see what and how much the kid wants to give to the sugar goblin. The goblin will take that candy and give a small present back for the kid. It teaches sharing with those in need and it's a way to reduce the amount of candy small kids end up with for Halloween.

 

[A Baby Maker]

It's me. I'm the sugar goblin.

 

[Christina]

It's me. I'm the sugar goblin.

Vash was the real sugar goblin except the almond joys and mounds. I seem to be only person who loves those.

 

[Ben]

Some cultures still leave their babies outside in a stroller to get sunshine while they eat at restaurants.

Don't tell this to my father. He'd feel justified having left me in the backyard in a stroller for 2 hours until I got sunburn. Mom found me when she came home, after he'd forgotten about me.

That being said. If you feel overwhelmed it's ok to put the baby down to cry in a safe place while you calm down. If your schedule changes for who is driving the kid around than does it normally, put some kind of reminder on the car door or some you always take with the baby. A lot of the babies that get left in a car is because of a change in who takes the kid and the kid falls asleep and the parent goes on autopilot. This goes for grandparents too.

I cannot agree more to pay attention to the whole Purple Baby training or whatever they call it. If they're crying, it's 100% safer for everyone to just put the baby down and let it cry. I'm sure you've got a way more level brain than a lot of us, but speaking personally, the constant crying with my 3rd kid just ground my gears in a way I can't fully describe. It was just a hopeless mix of "you have everything you need, why won't you stop crying?" topped with the sound actually making my head ring, and I caught myself getting really angry.

You probably don't have the added anxiety that you've got neighbors who're just hearing a screaming baby 24/7, but still. I eventually just took to wearing ear muffs from the firing range while holding him, and it honestly helped a LOT. I chock it up to some auditory processing problem from my autism that was triggering me so much.

I liked co-sleeping. Having the baby in the bed was great

We did it for our daughter and her and my wife would nap together all the time, but my youngest himself wasn't interested at all.

I'd think parents should know well ahead of baby time whether they roll around in their sleep or not. I barely move at all and wake up in the same position I went to sleep in, same for my wife. If either of us flailed about though it wouldn't have worked. For the youngest we got one of those side-bassinet things so he could be next to my wife for feeding, but not actually in the bed.

 

[Ants!]

Don't tell this to my father. He'd feel justified having left me in the backyard in a stroller for 2 hours until I got sunburn. Mom found me when she came home, after he'd forgotten about me.


I cannot agree more to pay attention to the whole Purple Baby training or whatever they call it. If they're crying, it's 100% safer for everyone to just put the baby down and let it cry. I'm sure you've got a way more level brain than a lot of us, but speaking personally, the constant crying with my 3rd kid just ground my gears in a way I can't fully describe. It was just a hopeless mix of "you have everything you need, why won't you stop crying?" topped with the sound actually making my head ring, and I caught myself getting really angry.

You probably don't have the added anxiety that you've got neighbors who're just hearing a screaming baby 24/7, but still. I eventually just took to wearing ear muffs from the firing range while holding him, and it honestly helped a LOT. I chock it up to some auditory processing problem from my autism that was triggering me so much.


We did it for our daughter and her and my wife would nap together all the time, but my youngest himself wasn't interested at all.

I'd think parents should know well ahead of baby time whether they roll around in their sleep or not. I barely move at all and wake up in the same position I went to sleep in, same for my wife. If either of us flailed about though it wouldn't have worked. For the youngest we got one of those side-bassinet things so he could be next to my wife for feeding, but not actually in the bed.

I actually do toss and turn a lot, but I do it consciously even in my sleep. Never had a problem.

 

[Ben]

I actually do toss

We assumed.

EDIT: I'm trying to exhaust giphy's masturbation options in this thread, I guess.

 

[Mark]

That's the fear, but speaking from years of experience raising two babies I did not find that to be true.

Not saying there's no precedent for it or anything, I guess it depends on the individual.

Mine was about 10 months old the last time she slept in a bed with me, because she was sick as hell, and she ended up kicking me in the nuts. She’ll be 18 this year, and I still vividly remember that nauseating wake-up.

I cannot agree more to pay attention to the whole Purple Baby training or whatever they call it. If they're crying, it's 100% safer for everyone to just put the baby down and let it cry. I'm sure you've got a way more level brain than a lot of us, but speaking personally, the constant crying with my 3rd kid just ground my gears in a way I can't fully describe. It was just a hopeless mix of "you have everything you need, why won't you stop crying?" topped with the sound actually making my head ring, and I caught myself getting really angry.

You probably don't have the added anxiety that you've got neighbors who're just hearing a screaming baby 24/7, but still. I eventually just took to wearing ear muffs from the firing range while holding him, and it honestly helped a LOT. I chock it up to some auditory processing problem from my autism that was triggering me so much.

Yeah, this is a big one, especially if your baby has colic or anything that would cause regular discomfort. It’s easy to feel guilty about leaving a baby to cry, because, well, you are leaving a baby to cry. Sometimes, it’s the best thing you can do, and it also helps the baby regulate their emotions at an early age. They’re less likely to cry for attention if they know they’ll only receive attention when something is legitimately wrong.

 

[Jon]

We assumed.

EDIT: I'm trying to exhaust giphy's masturbation options in this thread, I guess.

 

[A Baby Maker]

I'm sure you've got a way more level brain than a lot of us,

What a fun thing.

 

[A Baby Maker]

I will say it probably helps that my brothers and I were the oldest kids in our generation on my dad's side. My youngest cousins were just born when we were all highschool age. They called us their uncle cousins. So I got some experience early on.

Also my mom taught special Ed and on more than once occasion when I had a day off and she didn't I went with her to her work.

So yeah I guess I dealt with stressful situations with kids pretty early on.

 

[Ants!]

Mine was about 10 months old the last time she slept in a bed with me, because she was sick as hell, and she ended up kicking me in the nuts. She’ll be 18 this year, and I still vividly remember that nauseating wake-up.


Yeah, this is a big one, especially if your baby has colic or anything that would cause regular discomfort. It’s easy to feel guilty about leaving a baby to cry, because, well, you are leaving a baby to cry. Sometimes, it’s the best thing you can do, and it also helps the baby regulate their emotions at an early age. They’re less likely to cry for attention if they know they’ll only receive attention when something is legitimately wrong.

lol yeah. Some babies will insist on turning sideways every night and either drilling into you with their head or digging into you with their feet. It's impossible NOT to be aware of them

As for the other thing, I would argue that co-sleeping reduces crying, and makes it a much less hassle when they do because you might not even have to get up. I'm not a fan or believer in the "cry it out" thing, but I'm not going to judge others for it.

 

[Mark]

lol yeah. Some babies will insist on turning sideways every night and either drilling into you with their head or digging into you with their feet. It's impossible NOT to be aware of them

Dude, I swear, a grown man hit me in the nuts with less force than her. She didn’t want ANY siblings from me.

As for the other thing, I would argue that co-sleeping reduces crying, and makes it a much less hassle when they do because you might not even have to get up. I'm not a fan or believer in the "cry it out" thing, but I'm not going to judge others for it.

That’s just one of those situational things, though. You know the different cries after a while, and you wouldn’t leave a baby in pain crying alone, but you’d probably consider leaving one to cry that had been spoiled by grandparents to utilize crying for attention. You know those cries… the “fuck you, I ain’t goin’ to sleep, warden!” or the “just get me outta these bars so I can go back to playing!” cries that you’d be setting yourself up for drama if you caved on.

 

[Ants!]

That’s just one of those situational things, though. You know the different cries after a while, and you wouldn’t leave a baby in pain crying alone, but you’d probably consider leaving one to cry that had been spoiled by grandparents to utilize crying for attention. You know those cries… the “fuck you, I ain’t goin’ to sleep, warden!” or the “just get me outta these bars so I can go back to playing!” cries that you’d be setting yourself up for drama if you caved on.

I mean I get it, just personally I don't see it as harmful or spoiling by answering a baby's cries. I think it's the opposite, they're SUPPOSED to be entirely dependent and helpless and super attached at that age. I think it's beneficial to bond with them and could possibly be unnecessarily traumatic to them if you don't. We can worry about when is a good time to be concerned about whether or not they're being spoiled once they're old enough to walk and talk.

 

[Ants!]

Again, not judging. I just don't think the same way about it. But I know parents who do the cry-it-out thing can still be terrific parents.

 

[shortkut]

@A Baby Maker i know this crib mattress is expensive, but it provided so much peace of mind, that it was worth every penny. Some children are belly sleepers even if you put them on their backs. This is breathable and I tested it by shoving my face into it has hard as I could and I was able to breathe perfectly fine. We used the same mattress for both my girls and it is still being used as a toddler/preschooler bed. It holds up well and is very easy to clean when you have the inevitable blowout or reflux

Crib Mattress | Newton Baby

Buy the ultra-breathable, completely washable baby crib mattress. Enjoy peace of mind knowing that your baby's mattress is both safe and hygienic.

www.newtonbaby.com

 

[Ben]

@A Baby Maker i know this crib mattress is expensive, but it provided so much peace of mind, that it was worth every penny. Some children are belly sleepers even if you put them on their backs. This is breathable and I tested it by shoving my face into it has hard as I could and I was able to breathe perfectly fine. We used the same mattress for both my girls and it is still being used as a toddler/preschooler bed. It holds up well and is very easy to clean when you have the inevitable blowout or reflux

Crib Mattress | Newton Baby

Buy the ultra-breathable, completely washable baby crib mattress. Enjoy peace of mind knowing that your baby's mattress is both safe and hygienic.

www.newtonbaby.com

Wouldn't be a bad investment, for sure.

I'd think the whole "no blankets/stuffies in the bed while sleeping" is the core thing, but eliminating further possibilities does (literally) no harm.

 

[Zell 17]

I liked co-sleeping. Having the baby in the bed was great

My son still ends up in my bed. He's 8. It's not as great.

 

[Ants!]

My son still ends up in my bed. He's 8. It's not as great.

My son is 9 and autistic and currently went back in my bed after my wife and I separated. I beg to differ!

 

[Ants!]

That's older children though, not babies.

 

[Ben]

My son still ends up in my bed. He's 8. It's not as great.

Absolutely agree.

My wife fought me on stopping co-sleeping with our daughter early. She just loved snuggling and taking naps so much. Took basically until my son was born 2 years later for her to get that it was necessary.

Now the girl is almost 6, she won't fall asleep in her own room unless someone's in there cuddling her until she goes to sleep and there's a third pillow on our bed constantly because it's inevitable she'll wake up and come into our room.

There will come a point where you just wish you could have your own bed to yourselves again.

I absolutely did not let that shit happen a second time with my son, and I can get him to lay down in bed then leave the room immediately. He's recently started waking up before everyone else, but the 3 year old just turns the light on in his room and waits for someone else to get up. Except when he hears my cat meowing outside in the hallway, then he'll walk to my room, open the door and let the cat in, then go back to his bedroom and close the door...

 

[Ben]

Although I must further say, my wife can't put my son down for shit. I don't know why, but she'll try and then he'll just cry for mommy until she caves and goes back into the room to try again and has to start over from scratch. It's almost guaranteed if I leave for a business trip or they go to her parents without me, I'll get a call at bedtime just for me to say "Lay down" over speakerphone.

 

[Ants!]

Yeah, they'll get attached. My thoughts are just that a toddler or little child would probably be more resiliant than a baby and I'd rather do whatever I think is less traumatic for them. They might fuss and argue at the change, but at least you'll be able to talk to them. Hard for a baby to understand why you're not coming when they don't have a language yet, and that's when the neural pathways are most impressionable.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Gonna find out how much money it'll take to get the nursery done soon. What fun times.

 

[Christina]

I began to think the Japanese have the baby sleeping thing down better. It's more common practice there for the mother to sleep in the kids room, either on a cot next to the baby's or co-sleeping with them. Hormones after having a baby tend to make women sleep cycles different. You do not go into deep sleep cycles. It's part of the reason you can feel kind of dumber for awhile after having a baby. So they wake easier to take care of the baby. I really do think co-sleeping is a very personal choice that should be made after a lot of research and really knowing how you sleep and if you are getting enough sleep that you can wake up. They do make bedside cribs that attach to the parent's bed that maybe a smart option for some. Also type of mattress and bedding plays a roll into making things safer.

 

[Christina]

Gonna find out how much money it'll take to get the nursery done soon. What fun times.

Unless you are really set on sleep training the kid to be in a different room, we did not need a nursery room until ours were closer to a year old. We had it, but rarely used it.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Unless you are really set on sleep training the kid to be in a different room, we did not need a nursery room until ours were closer to a year old. We had it, but rarely used it.

We need to finish the room anyway. Old house with an entire floor that needs to be redone over time. Going to use this as an excuse to get at least one of them finished. Right now the plan is that room and the upstairs bathroom.

 

[Christina]

We need to finish the room anyway. Old house with an entire floor that needs to be redone over time. Going to use this as an excuse to get at least one of them finished. Right now the plan is that room and the upstairs bathroom.

It's part of the baby experience to have a nursery and a lot of stuff. Enjoy it and do it for you guys. It is a big surprise to realize how much money you can save with a baby because they really don't need as much as we've been sold they do.

Another cost saver or if you want to be more environmentally friendly if you are looking for stuff like that, is cloth diapers. They have come a long way and with modern washing machines they are super easy to clean. They have some that velcro on and off like a disposable diaper. Some that grow with the kid. There's a lot of options there, but if your kid will be in daycare, a lot of daycare will not use them.

Oh and be careful of mommy websites and blogs, a lot of those have become a way to channel women into the anti Vax and alt right.

 

[Ben]

We tried using cloth diapers.

We did not continue using cloth diapers...

But you'll get to experience the wonder of "blow-outs" either way, Alu. Be prepared.

 

[Ants!]

Oh and be careful of mommy websites and blogs, a lot of those have become a way to channel women into the anti Vax and alt right.

Explains my extremely anti-vax sister.

 

[Christina]

We tried using cloth diapers.

We did not continue using cloth diapers...

But you'll get to experience the wonder of "blow-outs" either way, Alu. Be prepared.

I loved them and they worked better than disposables for me. But it's not a thing that works for everybody. You can resell them and get money back if it doesn't work out.

Blowouts are the worst. I swear it always happens in the car seat so I have to clean the whole car seat when it happened.

 

[shortkut]

Couldn’t use cloth diapers due to blowouts

 

[Kat]

I'm sure you all find it rewarding, but this thread is definitely reaffirming my decision not to have kids. They can roll over onto their face and suffocate? Their butts explode without warning?? Thank you all for your service in populating the next generation.

 

[Christina]

I'm sure you all find it rewarding, but this thread is definitely reaffirming my decision not to have kids. They can roll over onto their face and suffocate? Their butts explode without warning?? Thank you all for your service in populating the next generation.

I hated the baby stage of parenting. On the plus side it does not last long. About the age of 3 or 4 they really start to become little people and become interesting to me.

 

[Ben]

I'm sure you all find it rewarding, but this thread is definitely reaffirming my decision not to have kids. They can roll over onto their face and suffocate? Their butts explode without warning?? Thank you all for your service in populating the next generation.

Some of us didn't choose this life, we just made poor decisions in other regards.

But you learn to love your accidents.

 

[A Baby Maker]

I hated the baby stage of parenting. On the plus side it does not last long. About the age of 3 or 4 they really start to become little people and become interesting to me.

I'm not sure telling someone who doesn't want kids "it's only 3 or 4 years before you'll find them interesting" will do much to sway them.

But yeah I've always wanted kids and so has my wife. There are no grandkids on either side, despite me having 2 older brothers and 3 step sisters. My wife's brother is gay and doesn't seem interested in adopting.

 

[shortkut]

I hated the baby stage of parenting. On the plus side it does not last long. About the age of 3 or 4 they really start to become little people and become interesting to me.

9 months is fun too

 

[Christina]

I'm not sure telling someone who doesn't want kids "it's only 3 or 4 years before you'll find them interesting" will do much to sway them.

But yeah I've always wanted kids and so has my wife. There are no grandkids on either side, despite me having 2 older brothers and 3 step sisters. My wife's brother is gay and doesn't seem interested in adopting.

It is what made me want to have a kid. When I realized that the baby stage goes pretty quick. Mine are now 11 and 8 and it feels like a month ago we were deciding to try for one. It goes so fast. Enjoy it all, and don't let work or other things get in the way of that because they keep growing even when you are busy with other things.

 

[Mark]

Gonna find out how much money it'll take to get the nursery done soon. What fun times.

Yo, be careful on those cribs with the spring-loaded rails that lower and raise. One bit the fuck out of my finger and cost me some blood.

I'm sure you all find it rewarding, but this thread is definitely reaffirming my decision not to have kids. They can roll over onto their face and suffocate? Their butts explode without warning?? Thank you all for your service in populating the next generation.

I honestly didn’t think I’d have a kid, I was on the same page as you. I just found myself in a situation where alcohol was involved, a decision to not wear protection was made, and the rest is history. It was a major adjustment for me that went incredibly well until my ex went back to work and started cheating again. She repeated that pattern with the father of her next two kids and then again with the father of her last kid. I never had anymore, and have no interest aside from being a step-parent to my girlfriend’s 11 year old and an “uncle” to my best friend’s kids.

Some of us didn't choose this life, we just made poor decisions in other regards.

But you learn to love your accidents.

Exactly. I always say the best thing to come out of my ex was my daughter. I mean that. Literally.

 

[Ants!]

Some of us didn't choose this life, we just made poor decisions in other regards.

But you learn to love your accidents.

It's funny, I really really tried to have my son. Took a while, in fact he's a rainbow baby because of a miscarriage right before. It was hard to make happen. Too bad it was with the wrong person.

Then my ex wife starts dating a dude in his mid twenties and somehow has another baby in her forties by accident?

I'm not sure telling someone who doesn't want kids "it's only 3 or 4 years before you'll find them interesting" will do much to sway them.

But yeah I've always wanted kids and so has my wife. There are no grandkids on either side, despite me having 2 older brothers and 3 step sisters. My wife's brother is gay and doesn't seem interested in adopting.

I usually tell people off for pressuring others to have a baby. Like one of my younger brothers is married and he and his wife definitely don't want any, but the family keep talking about trying to talk them into it somehow. I always tell them that babies deserve to be born into families that really wanted them.

That said, I find the opposite can often be true regarding what stage is easy or hard. My son was an awesome baby. Started smiling at only a few weeks, then smiled often. He was a happy baby. Nine years later and I can barely cope with raising him. My two step-kids are around the same age and they're little hellions too. My teen daughter is the only one who stayed sweet and easy.

 

[Ben]

It's funny, I really really tried to have my son. Took a while, in fact he's a rainbow baby because of a miscarriage right before. It was hard to make happen. Too bad it was with the wrong person.

I've mentioned it before, but Brig and I tried for like 6 years. To the point that towards the end, she got fertility tested and they told her she was fine. We figured it was me shooting blanks.

But after we split and I moved to Maine, it couldn't have been a month after my new girlfriend moved in with me that she was pregnant with my oldest son. There was another pregnancy after that which she didn't want to keep, and that was her choice to make.

After breaking up with her like 6 years later and moving in with my current partner, she was pregnant within a few months with our daughter.

It wasn't ever a me problem. Sometimes your sperms know how poor a match you are with someone before you do, and they swim the other way.

No idea if Brigette ever had kids with her later husband.

 

[Mark]

I've mentioned it before, but Brig and I tried for like 6 years. To the point that towards the end, she got fertility tested and they told her she was fine. We figured it was me shooting blanks.

But after we split and I moved to Maine, it couldn't have been a month after my new girlfriend moved in with me that she was pregnant with my oldest son. There was another pregnancy after that which she didn't want to keep, and that was her choice to make.

After breaking up with her like 6 years later and moving in with my current partner, she was pregnant within a few months with our daughter.

It wasn't ever a me problem. Sometimes your sperms know how poor a match you are with someone before you do, and they swim the other way.

No idea if Brigette ever had kids with her later husband.

And then one day…

 

[Ben]

And then one day…

View attachment 27846

Seems realistic, she'd probably get mad if you got that in her hair, too.

 

[dimmerwit]

I'm not sure telling someone who doesn't want kids "it's only 3 or 4 years before you'll find them interesting" will do much to sway them.

I think it depends. It wouldn't sway someone like me, but it's a common thing I've heard and maybe would push people on the fence.

It's funny, I really really tried to have my son. Took a while, in fact he's a rainbow baby because of a miscarriage right before. It was hard to make happen. Too bad it was with the wrong person.

Then my ex wife starts dating a dude in his mid twenties and somehow has another baby in her forties by accident?

But after we split and I moved to Maine, it couldn't have been a month after my new girlfriend moved in with me that she was pregnant with my oldest son. There was another pregnancy after that which she didn't want to keep, and that was her choice to make.

After breaking up with her like 6 years later and moving in with my current partner, she was pregnant within a few months with our daughter.

It wasn't ever a me problem. Sometimes your sperms know how poor a match you are with someone before you do, and they swim the other way

Human eggs prefer some men’s sperm over others, research shows

Human eggs use chemical signals to attract sperm. New research from Stockholm University, Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust and The University of Manchester shows that eggs use these chemical signals to “choose” sperm. Different women’s eggs attract different men’s sperm – and not...

www.manchester.ac.uk

 

[Ben]

Human eggs prefer some men’s sperm over others, research shows

Human eggs use chemical signals to attract sperm. New research from Stockholm University, Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust and The University of Manchester shows that eggs use these chemical signals to “choose” sperm. Different women’s eggs attract different men’s sperm – and not...

www.manchester.ac.uk

Makes sense. Must be because my cum isn't mustard based that her South Carolinian eggs didn't want it.

 

[Ants!]

I bet I have sriracha sauce sperm.

 

[Ben]

Mine is probably Aah! Bisto gravy.

 

[Ben]

@Ants!, I am starting to suspect you and I derail threads.

 

[Ants!]

Great minds think alike.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Actual image of Ben and Ants confronting each other in a thread.