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This News Doesn't Suck!
Everyone stop what you're doing! It's happening! GW's own Alu is having a baby!! Come and congratulate him here: Need some help identifying this picture.
We're so happy for you, Alu!
Campaign Lost Mines of Phandelver (Chapter 1)
- Thread starter VashTheStampede
- Start date
- Status
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude is a flurry of emotions. First, his ears are burning when T'anks seems to suggest she is with the goblins, next she brings back Hopper, spoiling the chance at wolf meat, but then she kills a wolf, providing a chance for wolf meat. His head is spinning as he thinks of wolf meat. He sings a tune.
Wolf meat, wolf meat,
Gonna eat some wolf meat,
Tasty, juicy, delicious wolf meat,
Warlock let's eat some wolf meat!
Dude's words are targeted at Dragmire, who undoubtedly has a taste for wolf meat as he is one for such fine cuisine. (Bardic Inspiration -> Dragmire)
With the song out of the way, Dude looks at the two goblins within his line of sight and starts licking those chops with that big Tortle tongue. He hears his Grandtorty in his head and shouts his catch phrase.
IT'S TORTLIN' TIME!
Dude grips the sword gifted to him by his Grandtorty tightly with both hands. The light of the blade pulsating through the chamber within the cave, the water adding an extra glow to the ceiling of that chamber.
Dude moves 15 feet to the east, wedging himself between both goblins.
Dude twists and lets out a massive spinning slash in Gobbo's direction.
Wolf meat, wolf meat,
Gonna eat some wolf meat,
Tasty, juicy, delicious wolf meat,
Warlock let's eat some wolf meat!
Dude's words are targeted at Dragmire, who undoubtedly has a taste for wolf meat as he is one for such fine cuisine. (Bardic Inspiration -> Dragmire)
With the song out of the way, Dude looks at the two goblins within his line of sight and starts licking those chops with that big Tortle tongue. He hears his Grandtorty in his head and shouts his catch phrase.
IT'S TORTLIN' TIME!
Dude grips the sword gifted to him by his Grandtorty tightly with both hands. The light of the blade pulsating through the chamber within the cave, the water adding an extra glow to the ceiling of that chamber.
Dude moves 15 feet to the east, wedging himself between both goblins.
Dude twists and lets out a massive spinning slash in Gobbo's direction.
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
With a sudden burst of movement, Tortle Dude initiates a spinning maneuver that catches the goblin off guard. The spin, a blend of tactical ingenuity and the natural agility of his Tortle physiology, brings his weapon around with a force that the goblin is ill-prepared to counter. The blow lands with devastating accuracy, cleaving through the goblin's defenses and ending its threat in a singular, fluid motion.
Sildar's Turn
As the battle within the Twin Pools Cave draws closer to its conclusion, with the adventurers gaining the upper hand through their coordinated efforts and individual feats of bravery, Sildar Hallwinter sets his sights on the final goblin standing. He advances with determination, his longsword at the ready.
The goblin, despite witnessing the fall of its companions and the formidable display of the adventurers' prowess, is not yet ready to concede defeat. Driven by survival instincts and the fierce, albeit misguided, loyalty to its cause, the goblin braces itself for Sildar's attack.
With a practiced swing, Sildar aims to incapacitate the goblin, his movements precise and calculated. However, the goblin, perhaps fueled by desperation or an underappreciated cunning, manages to anticipate the strike. In a display of surprising agility, it sidesteps Sildar's attack, the blade missing its mark by mere inches.
(( @GwJumpman ))
Sildar's Turn
As the battle within the Twin Pools Cave draws closer to its conclusion, with the adventurers gaining the upper hand through their coordinated efforts and individual feats of bravery, Sildar Hallwinter sets his sights on the final goblin standing. He advances with determination, his longsword at the ready.
The goblin, despite witnessing the fall of its companions and the formidable display of the adventurers' prowess, is not yet ready to concede defeat. Driven by survival instincts and the fierce, albeit misguided, loyalty to its cause, the goblin braces itself for Sildar's attack.
With a practiced swing, Sildar aims to incapacitate the goblin, his movements precise and calculated. However, the goblin, perhaps fueled by desperation or an underappreciated cunning, manages to anticipate the strike. In a display of surprising agility, it sidesteps Sildar's attack, the blade missing its mark by mere inches.
(( @GwJumpman ))
((Maybe it was literally sick, as in not well))
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
With Sildar unable to subdue the goblin, Dragmire steps up, intent on using his arcane powers to finish the fight. The air around him crackles with eldritch energy as he summons forth another Eldritch Blast, aiming it at the elusive goblin. However, the chaos of the battlefield, combined with the goblin's frantic movements, results in the Warlock's spell going awry.
The bolt of dark energy, missing its intended target, strikes the retaining wall of one of the pools within the cave. The impact is significant, causing vibrations to ripple through the stone. The adventurers and the goblin alike pause momentarily, witnessing the further weakening of the wall. Cracks spread across its surface, and small chunks of stone begin to fall, a clear indication that the structure is on the verge of collapse. The potential for a catastrophic flood becomes all too real, adding a new layer of urgency to the situation.
Goblin Turn
The last remaining goblin, driven by desperation and perhaps a flicker of hope to turn the tide, lashes out at Tortle Dude. The goblin swings its scimitar with all the force it can muster, aiming to inflict a decisive blow on the Bard, whose combat prowess has already been demonstrated in the battle.
However, the goblin's attack, though fierce, proves ineffective against the Tortle's natural defenses. The scimitar clashes against the hard shell of the Tortle, creating a sound that echoes through the cave but failing to penetrate or cause any harm. The Dude, unshaken by the attempt, remains stoic and unharmed, a testament to the resilience and strength that his kind is known for.
The goblin, seeing its attack thwarted so easily, experiences a moment of realization—the futility of its situation becoming all too clear.
(( @shortkut ))
The bolt of dark energy, missing its intended target, strikes the retaining wall of one of the pools within the cave. The impact is significant, causing vibrations to ripple through the stone. The adventurers and the goblin alike pause momentarily, witnessing the further weakening of the wall. Cracks spread across its surface, and small chunks of stone begin to fall, a clear indication that the structure is on the verge of collapse. The potential for a catastrophic flood becomes all too real, adding a new layer of urgency to the situation.
Goblin Turn
The last remaining goblin, driven by desperation and perhaps a flicker of hope to turn the tide, lashes out at Tortle Dude. The goblin swings its scimitar with all the force it can muster, aiming to inflict a decisive blow on the Bard, whose combat prowess has already been demonstrated in the battle.
However, the goblin's attack, though fierce, proves ineffective against the Tortle's natural defenses. The scimitar clashes against the hard shell of the Tortle, creating a sound that echoes through the cave but failing to penetrate or cause any harm. The Dude, unshaken by the attempt, remains stoic and unharmed, a testament to the resilience and strength that his kind is known for.
The goblin, seeing its attack thwarted so easily, experiences a moment of realization—the futility of its situation becoming all too clear.
(( @shortkut ))
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
With the final goblin's attack on Tortle Dude proving ineffective, Kutshort seizes the moment to bring the skirmish within the Twin Pools Cave to a decisive end. Stepping forward with a determined stride, he unsheathes his shortsword and scimitar, a dual-wielding stance that speaks to his readiness and combat experience.
The goblin, already disoriented by its failed attempt to harm Tortle Dude and the visible determination of the adventurers, watches warily as the Rogue approaches. The fear and realization of its impending defeat become apparent in the creature's eyes, but there's no time for it to react or escape.
Kutshort, with a swift and practiced motion, engages the goblin. His blades move with precision, reflecting the light of the cave as he strikes. The goblin, unable to defend against the skilled attack, falls under the dual assault of the Rogue's shortsword and scimitar. The blow is quick and merciful, a final act that concludes the battle and secures the safety of the party.
The adventurers, witnessing the defeat of the last goblin, allow themselves a moment of relief. The skirmish in the Twin Pools Cave, fraught with danger and unexpected challenges, has tested their resolve and their ability to work as a cohesive unit.
End of Combat Encounter
The goblin, already disoriented by its failed attempt to harm Tortle Dude and the visible determination of the adventurers, watches warily as the Rogue approaches. The fear and realization of its impending defeat become apparent in the creature's eyes, but there's no time for it to react or escape.
Kutshort, with a swift and practiced motion, engages the goblin. His blades move with precision, reflecting the light of the cave as he strikes. The goblin, unable to defend against the skilled attack, falls under the dual assault of the Rogue's shortsword and scimitar. The blow is quick and merciful, a final act that concludes the battle and secures the safety of the party.
The adventurers, witnessing the defeat of the last goblin, allow themselves a moment of relief. The skirmish in the Twin Pools Cave, fraught with danger and unexpected challenges, has tested their resolve and their ability to work as a cohesive unit.
End of Combat Encounter
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
The battle concluded, T'anks puts her weapons away and addresses the party.
Everyone in one piece? We won't have much time, one of the Goblin retreated and ran ahead. It would be... I mean, I need to...
She isn't sure how to bring this up.
...Do we have an actual plan, for Klarg? I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.
T'anks gets her bearings for where she is in the cave and how much area remains to be cleared.
Everyone in one piece? We won't have much time, one of the Goblin retreated and ran ahead. It would be... I mean, I need to...
She isn't sure how to bring this up.
...Do we have an actual plan, for Klarg? I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.
T'anks gets her bearings for where she is in the cave and how much area remains to be cleared.
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude, breathing heavy and pumping with adrenaline surveys the cavern. There's nothing more to kill, or at least nothing he feels like killing at the moment. He observes Kutshort gather some meat from goblins and wolves. Dude's hand starts to tremble, the sword starts to shake - love and lettuce. These were his values, but he continues to do things that go against his own values.
In a fit of pent up emotion, Dude takes his sword and chops up the wolf he killed into a dozen pieces.
Dude exhales.
Dude searches the site for lettuce to go with that wolf meat.
In a fit of pent up emotion, Dude takes his sword and chops up the wolf he killed into a dozen pieces.
Dude exhales.
Dude searches the site for lettuce to go with that wolf meat.
((I think I only shot one bolt (I dropped the first one) and Raine shot one arrow))
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
With a thoughtful expression, she realizes that, based on their explorations and the layout of the cave as they've encountered it, there's only one area left that remains unexplored—the next chamber.
Unfortunately, there's only one more chamber left in this cave. So if he's here, Klarg is just beyond that pathway.
She points to the southeast while saying this.
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
((C'mon dice gods))
VashTheStampede
Dumdum McGee
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude drops to his knees, clawing through the cave moss. No, there's no lettuce. Dude hears T'anks' voice ringing in his ears that she has a plan, now what. Dude really thought there might've been lettuce this time. He walks over to the corpse of Gobbo.
Dude lets out a sharp whistle to get the attention of T'anks.
Dude hoists his sword into the air and brings it crashing down onto Gobbo's neck, decapitating him in a single swing. Dude bends over, picks up Gobbo's head, still dripping with blood. He stares the dead goblin in the eyes, what is going through Dude's head? He turns his gaze to T'anks.
Dude lobs Gobbo's head toward T'anks, waiting to see what she'll do with a goblin head floating through the air at her...
(( @Raine ))
Dude lets out a sharp whistle to get the attention of T'anks.
Dude hoists his sword into the air and brings it crashing down onto Gobbo's neck, decapitating him in a single swing. Dude bends over, picks up Gobbo's head, still dripping with blood. He stares the dead goblin in the eyes, what is going through Dude's head? He turns his gaze to T'anks.
Dude lobs Gobbo's head toward T'anks, waiting to see what she'll do with a goblin head floating through the air at her...
(( @Raine ))
T'anks quickly moves out of the way of Gobbo's launched head, once more dismayed at her companion's wanton disregard for the remains of the Goblin. She refuses to look at the severed head, instead locking her gaze with Dude's. A deep sadness evident on her face, despite her best efforts.
Is that your answer? To just walk up to Klarg and behead him?
Is that your answer? To just walk up to Klarg and behead him?
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude scoffs - he perceived her actions as a continuation of display of sympathy toward goblins. Or even worse, signs of alliance. He can't help but think that she saved the lives of many goblins by urging them out of the cave, his desire to pit the goblins against eachother thwarted. Is she going to let Klarg walk too? Is that what she would rather do?
...do you have a better idea... T'anks?
...Dude pauses. This is the first time he's addressed her directly by name. Among the common folk this is typically seen as a sign of respect - however, this may or may not be the case for Dude.
...do you have a better idea... T'anks?
...Dude pauses. This is the first time he's addressed her directly by name. Among the common folk this is typically seen as a sign of respect - however, this may or may not be the case for Dude.
T'anks raises an eyebrow, surprised to hear him call her anything other than Devil. But better for who, exactly? She shakes her head.
I do, actually. Klarg is incredibly strong, far stronger than you despite your size. She's unsure if it's wise to provoke Dude like this, he himself far larger and more powerful than her. But then, that's why he was perfect for this... he and his friends. Rushing in is just going to get us hurt, if not killed. We know about the water trap. Or... She considers her words. Klarg is impulsive; territorial. You can use Gobskree's scheming to shake and undermine him.
A fierceness edges into her eyes, a final decision having been reached at last.
Or you can trust me, one last time. Klarg is... familiar, with me. I can approach him, and he won't attack. I'm sure of it. We can use that to our advantage.
I do, actually. Klarg is incredibly strong, far stronger than you despite your size. She's unsure if it's wise to provoke Dude like this, he himself far larger and more powerful than her. But then, that's why he was perfect for this... he and his friends. Rushing in is just going to get us hurt, if not killed. We know about the water trap. Or... She considers her words. Klarg is impulsive; territorial. You can use Gobskree's scheming to shake and undermine him.
A fierceness edges into her eyes, a final decision having been reached at last.
Or you can trust me, one last time. Klarg is... familiar, with me. I can approach him, and he won't attack. I'm sure of it. We can use that to our advantage.
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude falls silent - considering the words of T'anks very closely. The events of this cave and even prior playing through his head in rapid succession. He lowers his sword to show he is not threatening her and slowly walks toward T'anks. He stops mere inches away from her - leaving barely any space. He stares directly into the fierceness of her eyes.
His mind goes to the most recent attempt by this one to rush ahead. She nearly got herself killed as she continues to foolishly trust these goblins. That exact impulsiveness is why it's so dangerous. Does she have something to prove? Or.. is she trying to die? One thing is for sure - her warnings of Klarg do not inspire fear.
...one condition.
Dude pauses, closing the gap to a mere inch between them.
...I'm coming with you.
His mind goes to the most recent attempt by this one to rush ahead. She nearly got herself killed as she continues to foolishly trust these goblins. That exact impulsiveness is why it's so dangerous. Does she have something to prove? Or.. is she trying to die? One thing is for sure - her warnings of Klarg do not inspire fear.
...one condition.
Dude pauses, closing the gap to a mere inch between them.
...I'm coming with you.
T'anks nods, understanding his hesitancy. She's not sure he quite understands the depths of what she's done - what she's going to do. If his resolve is shaken while they engage Klarg, it will end in disaster.
He knows we're here now, so if he doesn't see all of us he'll rightly be on guard. But I need to make sure you understand.
She takes a deep breath, and then lets go - loud enough to ensure all of the party can hear.
This was my home, these Goblin my family for many years. And Klarg? Klarg is in love with me. Took care of me where others would only shun and abuse. I... want to save him. From himself, from whatever has twisted his mind alongside so many others. I don't know if I can, and I don't have the power to do it myself. But I want to try. ...I need to try.
I won't stand in your way, if the water trap is your choice. But there's significant risk to Dragmire, and so that will have to be his choice to make.
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude, noticeably uncomfortable with the words that she had uttered. He hears his Grandtorty's voice in his head, "GOBLIN LOVER" - the voice makes him want to tighten the grip on his sword, but he resists. Despite what may have appeared to be a threat - Dude feels his numerous actions have made it clear he has no intention to hurt T'anks, or let her get hurt. He is the one who woke up and untied her, after all...
...No.
I need you to understand.
You're not dying in this cave, not on my watch.
...No.
I need you to understand.
You're not dying in this cave, not on my watch.
Eldritch blast has a range of 120ft. He can hit it from the rope bridge
T'anks's face grows red-der with embarrassment, misunderstanding the reference of his comment and thinking back to when she went ahead of the party to ascertain whether Gobskree and those loyal to him remained sane.
I have no intention of dying. I just want to restore this place to a time before Ruxithid and his underlings arrived. The Goblin -- she wants to say they weren't bad, before. But she bites her tongue. She knows the misdeeds they've done; that she's done. -- they've become far more aggressive, less inclined to listen or to run. If things remain as they are, they and the travelers upon the highroad will be at greater risk. Sildar and Gundren can attest to that.
I'll follow your lead, I just... I just wanted you to know.
With a final nod, she awaits the party's decision.
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude lets out a gentle smirk at the skin tone change of T'anks. Maybe she isn't a lost hope - but she still has a long way to go in Dude's mind. Someone who lived with goblins, someone who seems to want to save them, someone who... resembles a devil.
Intent or not - they tried to kill you once...
Dude lets out a sigh, perhaps in disbelief he's even having this conversation.
If you want to try... I will not stop you.
However, as I said, I will come with you. The others can keep their distance if it makes you feel better... they can blast the water wall for fun for all I care.
But at the first sign you're in danger...
The talking stops.
Dude raises his large Tortle claw above her head, hovering over her horns.
Do we have a deal, devil?
Intent or not - they tried to kill you once...
Dude lets out a sigh, perhaps in disbelief he's even having this conversation.
If you want to try... I will not stop you.
However, as I said, I will come with you. The others can keep their distance if it makes you feel better... they can blast the water wall for fun for all I care.
But at the first sign you're in danger...
The talking stops.
Dude raises his large Tortle claw above her head, hovering over her horns.
Do we have a deal, devil?
A, uh, slight technicality I must share with you all on my wonderfully awesome Eldritch Blast... and it's a little embarrassing... Well, I'm only able to fire my blasts at creatures, not objects. I don't know what it is, I just don't feel the mojo unless I'm shooting at a real, living, breathing person.
Maybe if someone just sort of, you know, stands behind the rope and I shoot them hitting the rope in the process, now THAT I think could work.
My understanding, from that other goblin, is when Klarg feels threatened, he gives the order for the pools to drain into the cave to wash out any intruders.
My thinking is the rope bridge is high enough to avoid being washed away
T'anks understands the truth and severity of his words. Even those loyal to Gobskree were not immune to this influence; were not afraid to attack, even kill, her for reasons unknown.
We have a deal.
She catches parts of the conversation between Kutshort and Dragmire, but unfortunately has no information to share on the exact nature of the water trap. There was never call to use it - a testament to the natural fortifications of the cavern and the crafty nature of the Cragmaw collective to not draw too much attention to its location.
Nevertheless, she searches her memories for any talk or bragging about how it may work.
Did you wish to attempt that, before we move on?
If @GwJumpman wanted to blast something, now’s his chance. If he chooses to do this, we all should get on the rope bridge
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
Dude, having some of his rage passing at the moment as he has been listened to - once again... by devil, Dude finds this curious. However, there is no room for paranoia... but speaking of paranoia...
...how sure are you that you know which way the water will go?
...or that the rope bridge is even safe?
...how sure are you that you know which way the water will go?
...or that the rope bridge is even safe?
TD
ES COO Shitposting Dept. of GWF
After some moments of silence, perhaps Kutshort has changed his mind on this idea. Regardless, Dude hopes to provide an inspiring idea.
She wants a chance to not resort to violence against someone she cares for... she deserves that.
I will accompany her - in the event they attack, I can keep them at bay with my shell. She can run back here to you, get ready...
I lure them back - and you're ready to ambush them. We will have the... advantage.
Dude turns to the group with a goofy smile and winks. Wow does he ever get mood swings.
Dude readies to accompany T'anks into the chamber.
She wants a chance to not resort to violence against someone she cares for... she deserves that.
I will accompany her - in the event they attack, I can keep them at bay with my shell. She can run back here to you, get ready...
I lure them back - and you're ready to ambush them. We will have the... advantage.
Dude turns to the group with a goofy smile and winks. Wow does he ever get mood swings.
Dude readies to accompany T'anks into the chamber.
The party frantically tosses out ideas, the seconds ticking and their confrontation with Klarg looming large. It's decided that T'anks will be allowed to attempt to sway Klarg and pull him back from his destructive path, with Dude in tow. Most of the others will wait near the water trap, hoping to use that to their advantage if needed - or merely prevent Klarg from using it, if things get out of hand.
Resolved, she nods to Dude and they set off.
T'anks calls out to Klarg as she enters the stairwell leading into his chamber.
Klarg? Klarg, it's me. We need to talk.
Resolved, she nods to Dude and they set off.
T'anks calls out to Klarg as she enters the stairwell leading into his chamber.
Klarg? Klarg, it's me. We need to talk.
Dragmire addresses the group in a hushed but assertive tone.
Positions!
Dragmire casts Unseen Servant, hands the servant a dagger, and commands it to cut one of the ropes on Klarg's side of the bridge once, and if, Klarg crosses halfway over the bridge. Then, it is to go to the other rope and cut that one as well. The dagger should also remain on the GROUND until Klarg passes so as to not draw attention with a floating dagger.
Dragmire runs over to the other side of the bridge and gets ready.
Positions!
Dragmire casts Unseen Servant, hands the servant a dagger, and commands it to cut one of the ropes on Klarg's side of the bridge once, and if, Klarg crosses halfway over the bridge. Then, it is to go to the other rope and cut that one as well. The dagger should also remain on the GROUND until Klarg passes so as to not draw attention with a floating dagger.
Dragmire runs over to the other side of the bridge and gets ready.
- Status