Moonsprout, head deep in the grass, notices a variety of flowers and herbs that appear much more appealing than the unnecessary ruckus occurring near his backside. He moves through the grass, head down, in the direction of Short Order for as far as he can, looking for anything that can be of use.
He pokes his head up at one point just in time to see a seagull swoop down and gulp up a morsel of loose zombie flesh that had flown into the air.
Things look pretty dicey as the zombies move in on his new friends. Though he's resolved not to cause harm to any creature, he figures maybe Mother Earth wouldn't be too upset with simply nudging the nature in a more favorable direction for he and his party.
Oh yoo-hoo, bird brains. He calls out to the seagulls circling overhead. Those zombies look like a totally free meal. You could probably gather up your feathered friends and like, totally dine like kings.
Moonsprout vasts Speak with Animals on himself and tries to goad the birds to start picking away at the zombies' flesh.
He pokes his head up at one point just in time to see a seagull swoop down and gulp up a morsel of loose zombie flesh that had flown into the air.
Things look pretty dicey as the zombies move in on his new friends. Though he's resolved not to cause harm to any creature, he figures maybe Mother Earth wouldn't be too upset with simply nudging the nature in a more favorable direction for he and his party.
Oh yoo-hoo, bird brains. He calls out to the seagulls circling overhead. Those zombies look like a totally free meal. You could probably gather up your feathered friends and like, totally dine like kings.
Moonsprout vasts Speak with Animals on himself and tries to goad the birds to start picking away at the zombies' flesh.
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{{BUT WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT!?
}}
Aims frowns at the remark.
Hey! Very Novel coming from someone who booked it as far as possible to give them a slight cold! And it's not my fault they rip apart more easily then live flesh.
I'm here to cast spells, get drunk, and make snarky comments! Maybe you lot should just join me up the trail and we can be on our way.
OP
{{This would be a persuasion check. Speak with Animals isn't any kind of mind-control, so you're still having to convince the animals that doing something would be beneficial for them, etc. Buuuuuut I feel like making this partially easy to accomplish.}}
+2 = 6
You call out to the seagull as it starts to flap away, a series of squawks and clicks coming out from between your Halfling lips. The bird turns sharply back in your direction and looks puzzled as hell. As it gets closer to you, it manages to make out your persuasive tone over the roar of the surf.
{{I claim the extra zombies are 'cause you trippin'}}
The bird thinks for a moment, it's head snapping from side to side as it observes you with each eye. If it had eyebrows, you'd swear it furrowed them in contemplation. The bird parts it's beak and chitters a response.
 | "You ain't too convincing, fella'. But it's been boring around here since these stinky asshats started scaring away the fish.", it throws it's head back and squawk loudly, "HEY GUYS, OVER HERE!" |
A flock of seagulls lifts into the air from a nearby rock and swoop towards the party, swarming around the pack of zombies but being careful to keep themselves out of bony-arms reach.
{{Zombie A, B and C will have a disadvantage on their hit until the end of their next turn.}}
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OP
{{oh, @An Anatomically Correct Pineapple is up next}}
OP
+3 = 11
You glance around the beach, your vision partially obscured by the cloud of seagulls flapping above the zombies, but you do notice some old fishing nets dangling over the side of the dock into the water. Also some of the rocks on the embankment next to you appear to be quite loose. The beach is otherwise relatively barren and unremarkable.
{{ @Nae'blis is up.}}
OP
{{Word. I've been caught between trying to do everything Rules-As-Written, as we're all learning and it'd probably make it harder to do so if everything is wacky or super easy to accomplish, and leaning into the humor of everything for the lols. I'm kind of leaning more and more to the humor/narrative side though, and probably will more as the campaign goes on.{{Only in D&D can a horde of zombies have nipples rippled off, chest cavities caved in, legs and heads pierced and seagulls asked to fight with a set of adventurers. I love you guys}}
I know the few times I've played I always wanted to approach problems/encounters in interesting ways, so... I should facilitate that.}}
OP
}}
OP
{{Right? It took me a while to get it to not just render a compound bow, but telling it to add a rifle stock both helped and looked badass.}}
OP
OP
OP
}}
OP
OP
{{Bonus action unarmed strike target can be different from the main action unarmed strike, yes. As long as both are in range. }}
{{Sorry, yeah I kind of forgot.. work happened..
So, I'll try to get them to follow me over to the embankment then! I'll smack two of them and hope they follow!}}Crush the undead buggers with rocks, eh? Sounds like music ta my ears! Alright you damp sons of bitches, try ta catch me!
Nac whips up his foot and plants a kick in the soggy patch of pant meat Zombie C used to keep his seamen in, and as a bonus action attack throws a punch at Zombie A. After attacking Nac takes off towards the embankment.
Come and get me, if ye're hard enough!
OP
{{Sorry, yeah I kind of forgot.. work happened..
Crush the undead buggers with rocks, eh? Sounds like music ta my ears! Alright you damp sons of bitches, try ta catch me!
Nac whips up his foot and plants a kick in the soggy patch of pant meat Zombie C used to keep his seamen in, and as a bonus action attack throws a punch at Zombie A. After attacking Nac takes off towards the embankment.
Come and get me, if ye're hard enough!
Hits.
You wait for one of the swarming seagulls to swoop Zombie C and then strike with impeckable timing. The edge of your foot cleaves up between the Drowned Sailor's legs, impacting with a squish that forced some seawater out of it's pant legs. The creature's eyes bulge more so than they already did, and with a gravely rattle it crumples to the ground as an inanimate heap of flesh and bone.
Zombie C is dead(er).
{{The disadvantage from the seagulls was actually clutch, here.}}
Hits.
As you bounce back and regain your footing, after emasculating one of the undead assailants, your fist whips out towards the skull of the zombie still standing next to you. Your knuckles connect firmly and dislocate it's jaw, which now hangs agape from strands of rotting tendon. It's tongue slithers around across the upper teeth like an eel and it's sunken eyes fix on you.
{{I don't know specifically where you intended to move to, so I just put you up the hill towards Short Order.}}
{{I gotta grab my kid from daycare, then I'll follow up with the actions for Zombie A and B.}}
{{
{{Looks great! Welp, I'm off to bed so catch you guys on the flippity flop!}}
OP
Zombie A shambles after Nac as he bounces up the embankment. It lunges at the Dwarf with talons of bone outstretched, it's blackened tongue whipping back and forth in a rage. The sharpened finger bones swish past the Monk's head as he sways backwards like a drunkard, and the zombie throws itself off balance as its decayed legs fold beneath it on the sloped incline. The undead creature falls prone in the middle of the path.
{{Zombie A is now laying prone on the floor. This means it can only crawl until it stands back up, has disadvantage on attack rolls, and attacks against it from within 5ft have advantage. However, ranged attack rolls against the prone creature have a disadvantage.}}
Zombie B, looking battered with ragged wounds across its grey flesh, hisses at Aims'Orreh with breath that smells like a fish's asshole. It rocks forward adn attempts to sink it's teeth into the Half-Orc standing before it, but the jaws clamp down on air as Aims easily evades it.
{{ Round 2 complete. @Jawneh is up.}}
OP
Hits.
The tip of your javelin slides into the eye socket of the monster as it lunges and misses with its teeth, but just the tip. As it recoils, the milky white eyeball pulls free from its putrid eyelids and stays affixed to your javelin. The zombie sways unsteady on its bony feet, but doesn't topple.
{{ @Jon is up.}}
Zesty scans around the battlefield assessing his options. He notices one zombie prone on its way towards Nac. He turns his head the other way and notices a one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater off balance after Aims'Orreh's attack. Knowing his crossbow is stowed, Zesty knows he wants to help both adventurers. He nabs his rucksack and opens it scanning its contents. He smiles as his formulates his plan of attack. And steels himself.
Zesty moves to Zombie A near Nac. In one move Zesty draws his dagger from his hip into his dominant right hand and pulls his Light Hammer from his rucksack into his non-dominant left hand, now dual wielding the weapons.
He attacks the prone Zombie A with his dagger.
Then he uses his bonus action (two-weapon fighting) to hurl the hammer dexterously at Zombie B near Aims'Orreh.
{{Ok, I think I can do all this. I will likely need a hit modifier and damage for the dagger and then hit and damage for the hammer. No bonus though if I read the ability right. And then I'm aware I won't have my hammer unless I pick it back up after I assume.}}
Zesty moves to Zombie A near Nac. In one move Zesty draws his dagger from his hip into his dominant right hand and pulls his Light Hammer from his rucksack into his non-dominant left hand, now dual wielding the weapons.
He attacks the prone Zombie A with his dagger.
Then he uses his bonus action (two-weapon fighting) to hurl the hammer dexterously at Zombie B near Aims'Orreh.
{{Ok, I think I can do all this. I will likely need a hit modifier and damage for the dagger and then hit and damage for the hammer. No bonus though if I read the ability right. And then I'm aware I won't have my hammer unless I pick it back up after I assume.}}
OP
{{ @Jon - So, unfortunately, after reading up on everything this would involve, you wouldn't be able to draw both weapons in one turn.
While you do have Two-Weapon Fighting, which would let you attack with the dagger as your action and then throw the hammer as a bonus action, you don't have Dual Wielder. That's the feat that specifically allows you to;
- Gain a +1 bonus to AC while you are wielding a separate melee weapon in each hand.
- Use two-weapon fighting even when the one-handed melee weapons you are wielding aren't light.
- Draw or stow two one-handed weapons when you would normally be able to draw or stow only one.
Otherwise you can pick which of those weapons you're going to draw and attack with now.}}
{{I'm fine with this! My apologies. Thought I'd be able to draw them both. We can go ahead with this and I'll pick up my crossbow AND hammer after the fight.
So, to be clear for the future, can I still EQUIP both to be able to use the bonus action? Even if I don't have dual wielder? I can't just draw them together, right (separate turns or before a fight while in prep)?}}
OP
{{Correct. You can attack with both, it's just the drawing both in the same turn that doesn't work without that Dual Wielder feat. You can certainly either equip both on separate turns or before the battle starts.
Alright, let me go back and resolve those attacks, then.}}
OP
{{With retcon that you dropped your crossbow last turn and drew your dagger then...}}
Hits.
You dart up the hill the short way to where the zombie lay prone next to Nac. Your grip tightens on the hilt of your dagger and you slam it down into the forehead of the zombie, hearing the skull crack beneath your blade. It howls and arches it's back as the dagger is ripped back out of it's skull.
Hits.
You pivot with the momentum from ripping your dagger out of the mangled corpse, and with your off-hand cocked back by your ear you take aim at the zombie down by the docks. You tighten your bicep and with a flick of your wrist the weighted head of the hammer wheels towards the other undead creature. The hammer impacts weakly handle-first on the monster's stomach, a blow that should have finished it, but it does not stop moving and the hammer falls to the ground.
{{Zombie C is dead so skipped, and next up is @Smacktard.
This fight wasn't going to be super-easy at the best of times, and is certainly going a little slower given the format, but at the very least I can say that none of you have taken any damage yet which is pretty cool.}}
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A good bard doesn't blame his instrument when he, like, totally flubs a song. The bald and bearded one might not be as big as you, but his bare fists pack more punch than your pointy stick and all the size you put behind it.
Seeing that his fellow adventurers have mostly mopped up the enemies, Moonsprout goes back to rummaging through the grass, looking for useful herbs, flowers, or knick-knacks
OP
{{Finding herbs would fall under Nature, so +3}}
You run your fingers through the grass like the hair of a lover, barely resisting the compulsion to make a small hole in which to insert your skin-flute. As your grip tightens around the soft green strands, your fingertip brush against a coarse feeling bud. Scooting forward so your face is but a few inches from it, you manage to identify this one flower as Saltbloom, which you recall had some application in water-breathing potions. You rummage through the surrounding grass but manage to find only the one plant. You carefully wiggle the flower out of the ground, trying to preserve the roots, and place it gently in your pack.
{{ @An Anatomically Correct Pineapple is up.}}
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OP
{{Read this in the same way as "Go go Power Rangers"}}
{{BAHAHAHA! I was saying as Go Go Gadget X, but yours is much better!}}
OP
{{Should have clarified that bit.
It is a separate action from just identifying the plant and recalling uses for it, but picking it up is something that can be done as part of your movement action. So I'll assume you did that (and edit the above post).
A herbalism kit or alchemist's supplies are needed to make use of the herbs and turn them into remedies or potions, though you also need to have learned a recipe or the potion, have any other ingredients, etc. It also generally takes a whiiiiiile to craft a potion, in the order of several days. So no, you can't pound one out right here and now (you sick fuck.)
You could always try to find an alchemist to make it for you, though. They'll probably charge you for the service, but they might also know recipies that you don't at present.}}
This is supposed to be an instrument of destruction, but its only as good at poking things as you are poking your head in short grass!
Aims snorts.
So... it's quite good, you mean? Moonsprout says, with a mouthful of grass (and some more protruding from inside of his exposed underpants)
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