U.K. Kate Middleton Emergency Thread

[dimmerwit]

 

[Mark]

I know Twitter sucks and all but OH MAN you get the best messy drama there.

I had no idea about the rumors that William had cheated on Kate last year with a chick who was down to do some pegging.

Oh wait, what? Is that line behind me again? My bad, my bad.

Do they even call it pegging there? Or is it “King Henry’s Westminster Balloon Knot Jubilee”?

 

[Tommy Boy]

But why not just have her walk out and wave to some news cameras? Why do they avoid doing the one things that would end this whole things?

It's definitely strange, but I guess I haven't really thought about it much considering how avidly I tend to avoid these people. Yeah, weird though.

 

[dimmerwit]

All I know about cheating rumours was that it was supposedly with the Marchioness of Cholmondeley, which even I can't believe is an actual title. It sounds like something an American TV drama just made up.

That said Cholmondeley is in Cheshire so maybe Judge Jamie will get his starring role at last!

 

[VashTheStampede]

Apparently Cholmondelay is pronounced Chumley. This is hilarious.

And I honestly think she's more attractive than Kate, plus she's supposedly down for lots of wild shit... I'm on Team Chumley.

 

[Mark]

Apparently Cholmondelay is pronounced Chumley. This is hilarious.

And I honestly think she's more attractive than Kate, plus she's supposedly down for lots of wild shit... I'm on Team Chumley.

And they wanna talk about how Americans bastardized the English language… bastardize WHAT exactly?!

 

[shortkut]

Apparently Cholmondelay is pronounced Chumley. This is hilarious.

And I honestly think she's more attractive than Kate, plus she's supposedly down for lots of wild shit... I'm on Team Chumley.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Apparently Cholmondelay is pronounced Chumley. This is hilarious.

And I honestly think she's more attractive than Kate, plus she's supposedly down for lots of wild shit... I'm on Team Chumley.

I searched Chumley and got Chumlee from Pawn Stars instead. I laughed.

Edit:
Is this her?

I am not impressed...

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Looking at other pictures, I can confidently say that I prefer Kate... a whole lot more in terms of looks.

 

[VashTheStampede]

That's not a super flattering image of her but yeah that's her.

Kate's just so...typical, if that makes sense. Just not my type, I guess. All due respect to the recently deceased or bodysnatched.

 

[Benzine]

That's not a super flattering image of her but yeah that's her.

Kate's just so...typical, if that makes sense. Just not my type, I guess. All due respect to the recently deceased or bodysnatched.

come on now kate is beautiful

her sister too

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

This isn't a thread for saying how beautiful women are not beautiful. This includes basically all the ladies mentioned in here so far.

So let's talk about aliens and body doubles again.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

My body double is George Clooney.

 

[Benzine]

My body double is George Clooney.

wow that's big, my body double mostly women

 

[Smacktard]

The most likely reason is that this is moulting season. Kate has moulted her skin and is waiting for her new skin to toughen up before being seen in public again. It would be very embarrassing for a royal to be seen with some flakes of crispy old skin still clung to them.

 

[VashTheStampede]

This isn't a thread for saying how beautiful women are not beautiful. This includes basically all the ladies mentioned in here so far.

So let's talk about aliens and body doubles again.

Maybe the reason I don't find Kate attractive is an uncanny valley thing and she's just been some sort of CG rendered being this whole time.

 

[Mark]

The most likely reason is that this is moulting season. Kate has moulted her skin and is waiting for her new skin to toughen up before being seen in public again. It would be very embarrassing for a royal to be seen with some flakes of crispy old skin still clung to them.

Correct. The eye and nostril caps must fully shed, attempting to remove them manually before they’re ready can be catastrophic.

Maybe the reason I don't find Kate attractive is an uncanny valley thing and she's just been some sort of CG rendered being this whole time.

Or because she has the equivalent of unseasoned and unbuttered mashed potatoes for a face? No flavor at all. Google “brunette Caucasian female” and you’ll get a bunch of results that look just like her.

@Benzine is not completely wrong, though… her sister Pippa has a dump truck.

 

[VashTheStampede]

All of Pippa's pictures I see online make her look like she's just seen a guy take a football to the nuts but she knows it's uncouth to laugh out loud.

 

[Mark]

All of Pippa's pictures I see online make her look like she's just seen a guy take a football to the nuts but she knows it's uncouth to laugh out loud.

Considering what perfect strangers say about her online, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that’s what she’s actually imagining when out engaging with the public.

 

[shortkut]

Maybe the reason I don't find Kate attractive is an uncanny valley thing and she's just been some sort of CG rendered being this whole time.

She has the cute, girl next door look… but when every girl next door looks identical, you’re either in a simulation or a stepford situation

 

[Fire Queen]

the royal family is so funny because if the wrong three or four people croak suddenly there's a baby in charge. this is a good system that should be preserved and that billions of dollars pounds sterling innit should be poured into

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

the royal family is so funny because if the wrong three or four people croak suddenly there's a baby in charge. this is a good system that should be preserved and that billions of dollars pounds sterling innit should be poured into

As a queen of fire you should understand what a regent is more than most.

 

[Fire Queen]

bold of you to assume i claimed my throne legitimately and am not constantly facing revolts because of my poor rule

 

[VashTheStampede]

the royal family is so funny because if the wrong three or four people croak suddenly there's a baby in charge. this is a good system that should be preserved and that billions of dollars pounds sterling innit should be poured into

Best case scenario: John Goodman

 

[TD]

So let's talk about aliens and body doubles again.

What if she always was an alien but the body double is a new superior kind of alien here to replace her?

 

[shortkut]

What if she always was an alien but the body double is a new superior kind of alien here to replace her?

Or what if she was an alien, and now the human escaped captivity so the alien is in hiding to prevent multiple versions of her being spotted at the same time

 

[TD]

Or what if she was an alien, and now the human escaped captivity so the alien is in hiding to prevent multiple versions of her being spotted at the same time

This seems as plausible as any other theory I've heard.

 

[shortkut]

 

[dimmerwit]

 

[shortkut]

 

[Christina]

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Princess Diane was killed by aliens.

 

[TD]

But will we ever be validated?

 

[Smacktard]

the royal family is so funny because if the wrong three or four people croak suddenly there's a baby in charge. this is a good system that should be preserved and that billions of dollars pounds sterling innit should be poured into

fwiw the UK royals make money for the country based on royals-associated tourism. they're also huge landowners, and it would be weird to just be like "your land is our land now lmao" (even though they essentially did just that hundreds of years ago)

 

[VashTheStampede]

and it would be weird to just be like "your land is our land now lmao" (even though they essentially did just that hundreds of years ago)

They could just say they're colonizing it

 

[VashTheStampede]

 

[VashTheStampede]

TIL Kate is NOT an amateur when it comes to photography. She did her thesis on photography and was in the photography club at St. Andrew's

There is no way she would release such a shitty photoshop job!

 

[shortkut]

TIL Kate is NOT an amateur when it comes to photography. She did her thesis on photography and was in the photography club at St. Andrew's

There is no way she would release such a shitty photoshop job!

Doesn’t mean she knows photoshop… maybe she normally uses gimp for editing her photos

 

[TD]

"She" was spotted.

Kate Middleton Seen in New Video Enjoying Windsor Farm Shop with William

The Kate Middleton sighting that got reported on this week is real after all -- 'cause a new video of her during this outing has surfaced ... and TMZ's got a first look.

www.tmz.com

 

[VashTheStampede]

 

[Christina]

Clone. I'm thinking they cloned her.

 

[Fire Queen]

i for one think that the cells that presently make up her being are NOT the cells she was born with (those have died off - IYKYK) ship of theseus? more like kate of wales

 

[Fool's Requiem]

 

[TD]

Who is Yvette Nicole Brown and what does it mean?

Ohhhh.

it's the actress playing Kate?

 

[Mark]

I saw on the news that there’s a second doctored photo?

 

[Christina]

The cloning didn't go prefectly, so they have to edit the photos.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Guys I got a live feed of the basement of Kensington Palace

 

[Mark]

Guys I got a live feed of the basement of Kensington Palace

Just wait til Necro-Elizabeth makes her appearance…

 

[VashTheStampede]

I see the resemblance

 

[shortkut]

I see the resemblance

They look hella similar