U.K. Kate Middleton Emergency Thread

[VashTheStampede]

Omg I can't believe there's no thread about this

What is going on with Kate?

Is she dead?

Did they replace her with a lookalike?

Or maybe it's an Invasion of the Body Snatchers situation!

Are we being invaded by aliens???

 

[Christina]

My theory! She got like diverticulitis and had to have emergency surgery it. It didn't go well and she's in a coma, but they don't want to tell anybody because it would take away from the King's cancer Dx. They tried to doctor a photo and got caught. They are totally using a double to make it look like she's in that car.

 

[TD]

Time to go down the google rabbit hole I guess.

I have no idea what this is about.

 

[Christina]

It's about us using the royal family for drama conspiracy theories because I'm pretty sure that's their purpose.

 

[VashTheStampede]

My theory! She got like diverticulitis and had to have emergency surgery it. It didn't go well and she's in a coma, but they don't want to tell anybody because it would take away from the King's cancer Dx. They tried to doctor a photo and got caught. They are totally using a double to make it look like she's in that car.

I'm still on Prince William went into a mad rage and beat the shit out of her.

He may or may not be a cannibal and ate all or at least part of the body.

You never can tell with these inbred types.

 

[Christina]

I'm still on Prince William went into a mad rage and beat the shit out of her.

He may or may not be a cannibal and ate all or at least part of the body.

You never can tell with these inbred types.

Pushed her down some stairs?

 

[VashTheStampede]

...I'm gonna get banned by the English members of the forums...

 

[TD]

Oh wow and there's like weird photoshopped pictures too?

Like this is definitely photoshopped.

Further down this rabbit hole I go.

 

[Christina]

I give them full permission to go after our want to be royal family of the Trumps.

 

[Mark]

My other half says cosmetic surgery after cranking out 3 kids. Seems plausible.

I give them full permission to go after our want to be royal family of the Trumps.

PLEASE take Eric first.

 

[TD]

Was the Princess of Wales debuting her BBL ("Brazilian butt lift") while putting in a shift as "the Unknown" the doomed Glasgow Willy Wonka experience?

Now this is Wednesday entertainment.

 

[VashTheStampede]

My other half says cosmetic surgery after cranking out 3 kids. Seems plausible.



PLEASE take Eric first.

Ozempic abuse to maintain her figure leading to rare side effects causing perforated bowel and resulting in sepsis.

Or aliens.

 

[shortkut]

I only believe what @Crazy Jamie tells me about the royal family

 

[TD]

I think this might've caught me up on what's happening?

A Timeline of the Drama—and Conspiracy—Surrounding the Princess of Wales

Here's a full debrief on the news and controversy surrounding the Princess of Wales over the past few months.

www.vogue.com

Oh and it's definitely aliens.

 

[Christina]

There's something there. The fact you can't just post a normal un edited picture.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Oh wow and there's like weird photoshopped pictures too?

Like this is definitely photoshopped.

Further down this rabbit hole I go.
View attachment 11725

Photoshopped how? All I see are statements that it was edited, but no indication as to what was edited...

 

[TD]

Photoshopped how? All I see are statements that it was edited, but no indication as to what was edited...

Analysis of the photograph's metadata by Sky News revealed that the file was saved twice in Adobe Photoshop, once on Friday, March 8 at 9:54 p.m. GMT, and again on Saturday, March 9, at 9:39 a.m. GMT.

The most obvious error, however, is that Princess Charlotte's sweater sleeve is missing, and the zipper on Kate's jacket disappears. In addition, Kate's right hand is blurry, while Louis's sweater is crystal-clear.

For me, the right side of the image screams manipulation, poorly manipulated at that.

 

[VashTheStampede]

And didn't "Kate" release a statement saying she was "playing with photoshop"?

 

[TD]

Isn't that the first photo of her since the "surgery" too? Or did I imagine reading that?

...and the first photo just so happens to be uh... photoshopped?

 

[VashTheStampede]

Well then there was the picture of the body double her in the car

 

[TD]

Goff Photos, the agency responsible for distributing the image, addressed the Photoshop accusations in a statement to E! News on Tuesday, March 12, insisting that while the pics "have been cropped and lightened," they were not "doctored."

(About the car photo)

Sounds legit.

maybe

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

Normally conspiracy threads would be a no-go.

This one is a go, though.

 

[dimmerwit]

Thank you for all your kind words. The crisis involving Kate has rocked us to the core and left our country in a deep state of mourning. Us lowly peons are left wandering the streets newly devoid of purpose without our shining leader.

What is reality? Does Kate even exist? Are photographs real or merely memory imprints deigned suitable by our alien overlords?

 

[VashTheStampede]

Normally conspiracy threads would be a no-go.

This one is a go, though.

Oh this comment might require its own thread so I know where my boundaries are

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

 

[TD]

Oh this comment might require its own thread so I know where my boundaries are

Who needs boundaries when it comes to conspiracies?

 

[VashTheStampede]

He's just letting me have this one because I blew the whistle on the Skrull invasion and he's trying to not blow his cover.

Alu? More like Alien Undercover.

 

[TD]

Sounds like Vash just determined the next A* name.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Normally conspiracy threads would be a no-go.

This one is a go, though.

don't tempt me

I will post a thread explaining how JFK orchestrated the murder of Tupac decades in advance.

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

don't tempt me

I will post a thread explaining how JFK orchestrated the murder of Tupac decades in advance.

How is that tempting when I said this one is fine but most would not be?

 

[Benzine]

I am glad I am not a royal. Imagine not being able to go on a bender cause the world will think you're now a doppelganger.

 

[Christina]

Yeah, but they get a lot of money and stuff for it and really have very little they have to do.

 

[Benzine]

Yeah, but they get a lot of money and stuff for it and really have very little they have to do.

It is a lot of money, but I think very little might be a bit harsh. They also make their country a lot of money just by existing. Getting talked shit about every single day by some of the vilest people going isn't easy either (although yes I'd do it for less money too).

I'm not a royalist or anything - just think that this sort of thing is shit.

Anyway, what's really happened is that David Mitchell's cloning experiment has obviously come to fruition:

 

[Tommy Boy]

I've done my best to avoid this entire family my entire life, but I personally believe that she was messing around in Photoshop and messed things up like a dingus. I don't believe in any conspiracy. GenX mom trying to figure out Photoshop on computer. Hwo do I shot web?/

 

[Benzine]

Yeah @Tommy Boy but what conspiracy do you pick?

 

[Tommy Boy]

Yeah @Tommy Boy but what conspiracy do you pick?

They're using her organs to rebuild Diana 2.0 underneath the Buckingham Palace.

 

[Benzine]

They're using her organs to rebuild Diana 2.0 underneath the Buckingham Palace.

oh liek a diana they control, like phoenix person. you've sold me

 

[Christina]

I've done my best to avoid this entire family my entire life, but I personally believe that she was messing around in Photoshop and messed things up like a dingus. I don't believe in any conspiracy. GenX mom trying to figure out Photoshop on computer. Hwo do I shot web?/

But why not just have her walk out and wave to some news cameras? Why do they avoid doing the one things that would end this whole things?

 

[shortkut]

But why not just have her walk out and wave to some news cameras? Why do they avoid doing the one things that would end this whole things?

That could be a stunt double

 

[dimmerwit]

But why not just have her walk out and wave to some news cameras? Why do they avoid doing the one things that would end this whole things?

Maybe that's the idea!

I mean, here at home she has been kicked off the news cycle completely by the Conservative party's top donor saying that a black female Labour MP needed to be shot and that she made him want to hate all black women, followed by the Prime Minister taking a disturbingly long time to conclude that said comments were racist, which he only did when the sole black woman in his administration pointed out that they were indeed racist.

You need much more to top that. Maybe a doctored video?

 

[VashTheStampede]

I mean, here at home she has been kicked off the news cycle completely by the Conservative party's top donor saying that a black female Labour MP needed to be shot and that she made him want to hate all black women, followed by the Prime Minister taking a disturbingly long time to conclude that said comments were racist, which he only did when the sole black woman in his administration pointed out that they were indeed racist.

In America we call that Tuesday

 

[Mark]

Thank you for all your kind words. The crisis involving Kate has rocked us to the core and left our country in a deep state of mourning. Us lowly peons are left wandering the streets newly devoid of purpose without our shining leader.

What is reality? Does Kate even exist? Are photographs real or merely memory imprints deigned suitable by our alien overlords?

Perhaps you should comb through old photos of her and count fingers… see if she ever did exist.

 

[VashTheStampede]

I know Twitter sucks and all but OH MAN you get the best messy drama there.

I had no idea about the rumors that William had cheated on Kate last year with a chick who was down to do some pegging.

Oh wait, what? Is that line behind me again? My bad, my bad.

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

I know Twitter sucks and all but OH MAN you get the best messy drama there.

I had no idea about the rumors that William had cheated on Kate last year with a chick who was down to do some pegging.

Oh wait, what? Is that line behind me again? My bad, my bad.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Is that the line of people waiting to fuck Cartman's mom?

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

Is that the line of people waiting to fuck Cartman's mom?

 

[VashTheStampede]

Too far, Fool's

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Too far, Fool's

I agree, it is too far. Look how long that line is. No way Cartman's mom is worth that kind of wait.

 

[dimmerwit]

I agree, it is too far. Look how long that line is. No way Cartman's mom is worth that kind of wait.

Not as far as your car was from that kerb LOOOOOOOOOL

also yes it's a joke love you really

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Not as far as your car was from that kerb LOOOOOOOOOL

also yes it's a joke love you really