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Fellas, is it gay to *shuffles deck*

Ben

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It cost him millions.










In sperm.
Doc told me 35 million can be just hangin' out in the tubes post-snip. Only twice has he seen it not be 0 by the 3 month check up.

But yeah, goodbye, swimmin' fellas. No longer shall you dictate the course of my life.
 
Can I be knocked unconscious for the thing?

It's probably not going to be necessary for me. I haven't anticipated on getting into a relationship for well over a decade anyway...

Unless, like some animals, doing the snip snip somehow increases life longevity...
I wish they had knocked me out. Even taking valium beforehand and then local anesthesia I was still a nervous mess and I could feel him tugging around on everything down there. It didn't technically hurt but it was still the most intensely uncomfortable feeling ever. Like, as close as you could get to pain, without actual pain, if that makes sense.

Yeah I would have gladly taken the gas to get knocked out entirely if they had that.
 

Ben

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Can I be knocked unconscious for the thing?
Not an option. I didn't even get offered valium or anything for before hand, it'll just be a local anesthetic mostly for the small incision they have to make. But they still have to clamp shit and pull part of the tube out of the incision to tie/cut/cauterize it, so it'll still feel uncomfortable from all the non-numbed nerves in the scrotum.

I'm pretty good at disassociating with my body, especially when it comes to pain, so I assume I'll make it through.
 

Ben

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Yeah sorry, I don't mean to make you nervous. It could very well be that I am just a wuss.
I mean, I'm probably more apprehensive about having a dude fondle my balls for 10 minutes than I am about the actual procedure.

I'm combating the nerves by repeating "I have 3 kids, I want no more."
 

Ben

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OH, I forgot the other "lolwut" instruction the doc gave me, that being that for the 3 month check up the lab will give me a cup to cum into at home, which I then must keep the cum-cup close to my body and get to the lab within 1 hour (so the sperm don't get cold and die). I expected to have to give it in the lab, not dispense at home into a warm-Tupperware then race across the city like John McClane to deliver it.
 

Jawneh

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OH, I forgot the other "lolwut" instruction the doc gave me, that being that for the 3 month check up the lab will give me a cup to cum into at home, which I then must keep the cum-cup close to my body and get to the lab within 1 hour (so the sperm don't get cold and die). I expected to have to give it in the lab, not dispense at home into a warm-Tupperware then race across the city like John McClane to deliver it.
Mines within 3 hours. And the docs office is almost 2 hours away.

So either I rub one off just before I leave or be a creeper in the hospitals parking garage lol.
 

canadaguy

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My doc and I just talked about hockey while he was doing it then he was like alright done
 

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Although I don't know what song I'd want to play on my headphones while they're doing it, and subconsciously always interlink that song with the feeling of having my balls cut...
I compiled a little list:
  • David Bowie - Nuts
  • Tjajkovski - The Nutcracker Suite
  • Little Richard - Hot Nuts
  • Pingu Theme (Noot Noot!)
  • Accept - Balls to the Wall
  • AC/DC - Big Balls
  • Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire
  • Beatles - Come Together
  • Nirvana - Come As You Are
  • Dexys Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
 

Smacktard

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I compiled a little list:
  • David Bowie - Nuts
  • Tjajkovski - The Nutcracker Suite
  • Little Richard - Hot Nuts
  • Pingu Theme (Noot Noot!)
  • Accept - Balls to the Wall
  • AC/DC - Big Balls
  • Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire
  • Beatles - Come Together
  • Nirvana - Come As You Are
  • Dexys Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
Can't believe you left out Cum On Feel the Noize
 

A Vaguely Ambiguous Username

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OH, I forgot the other "lolwut" instruction the doc gave me, that being that for the 3 month check up the lab will give me a cup to cum into at home, which I then must keep the cum-cup close to my body and get to the lab within 1 hour (so the sperm don't get cold and die). I expected to have to give it in the lab, not dispense at home into a warm-Tupperware then race across the city like John McClane to deliver it.
This is the same way the IVF process works. They provide you a sample cup though so you're not accidentally glazing old food in your Tupperware.
 

Kat

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Constantly get lectured how the wait times in Canada are atrocious, but my clinic will literally do the procedures for walk-in patients

lolmerica
I will never understand that criticism of nationalized healthcare. I always have to wait months for any appointment about anything, even if it's just a simple exam.

Yeah sorry, I don't mean to make you nervous. It could very well be that I am just a wuss.
I'm also a wuss, and I have gotten sedation for procedures that don't typically involve sedation. Talk to your doc and ask, you never know. Tell them you don't think you can do the procedure without sedation. Getting insurance on board is sometimes its own battle, though.
 

A Vaguely Ambiguous Username

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I will never understand that criticism of nationalized healthcare. I always have to wait months for any appointment about anything, even if it's just a simple exam
It's because they're being disingenuous and comparing wait times for specialties and standard appointments in Canada to emergency care in the US.
 

canadaguy

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I will never understand that criticism of nationalized healthcare. I always have to wait months for any appointment about anything, even if it's just a simple exam.
Like our system is not perfect by any means. There are definitely certain things that do take too long for people to see, but thats an issue everywhere. At least once you're on the list, you are slowly getting closer. Not like someone can bump you in line just because they pay for your spot.

And like triage exists, and for things that are imminent and emergent, you will get help right away.
 

Kat

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Like our system is not perfect by any means. There are definitely certain things that do take too long for people to see, but thats an issue everywhere. At least once you're on the list, you are slowly getting closer. Not like someone can bump you in line just because they pay for your spot.

And like triage exists, and for things that are imminent and emergent, you will get help right away.
Of course your system isn't perfect, but ours is worse in pretty much every way.

Even if the waits were legitimately longer there, it'd only be because everybody can receive care that they need. So they want to deny a huge swath of the population medical care so they can get a vasectomy sooner? That's even worse.
 
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I'm pretty good at disassociating with my body, especially when it comes to pain, so I assume I'll make it through.
This is what it's about really. There's no pain but you do feel the tugging and such, which is unsettling. It's a mind game more than anything as to how much it bothers you. When it comes to medical procedures generally my default is to put a lot of faith in medical staff, so I didn't have too much on an issue with it. I didn't have headphones though. Basically talked about football (soccer) with the two doctors the whole time.
 

Ben

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This is what it's about really. There's no pain but you do feel the tugging and such, which is unsettling. It's a mind game more than anything as to how much it bothers you. When it comes to medical procedures generally my default is to put a lot of faith in medical staff, so I didn't have too much on an issue with it. I didn't have headphones though. Basically talked about football (soccer) with the two doctors the whole time.
I dread sports small talk more than I fear scalpels...
 

Ben

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So talk about scalpels with them instead
The Office Jim GIF by MOODMAN
 
When it comes to medical procedures generally my default is to put a lot of faith in medical staff, so I didn't have too much on an issue with it.
I usually do that too, I put my faith and confidence in the medical professional, even during this procedure. It was just that for me personally, I just can't get past the horrible thoughts of my sack being opened and somebody cutting and tugging things around down there. In fact I tried to keep myself ignorant of it and avoided looking up the proceedure and what was involved, wanting as few details as possible, but then during the first consult the doctor just explained the entire thing and I'm just like...thanks, I wish you didn't tell me any of that at all. lol
 

Jawneh

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I usually do that too, I put my faith and confidence in the medical professional, even during this procedure. It was just that for me personally, I just can't get past the horrible thoughts of my sack being opened and somebody cutting and tugging things around down there. In fact I tried to keep myself ignorant of it and avoided looking up the proceedure and what was involved, wanting as few details as possible, but then during the first consult the doctor just explained the entire thing and I'm just like...thanks, I wish you didn't tell me any of that at all. lol
I personally just learned about what the steps are. Never was interested in specific details. By the time I got to my first consult and then an overview and step by step rundown as the doc was doing his thing, I already knew like 80% of the stuff that was done. None of it was horrifying or anything either.

It was a bizarre feeling overall though. Feeling things without pain is weird when in normal circumstance you know you'd be screaming in agony without the anesthesia. Kind of neat though. At least that's what my brain thought.
 
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