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You complain about Pineapple on Pizza... but what about... This?

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W

Webster

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MC74 said:
particularly about how people don't mix the sauce in....
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Confused Steve Austin GIF by WWE
 
Raine

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Pineapple on pizza is quite good, actually! Fools be trippin' on powah. :tease2

Pineapple on/in spaghetti, though? ...I would try it but I cannot envision that being particularly good. Especially at that ratio - those chunks are too large!
 
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Mark

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Raine said:
Pineapple on pizza is quite good, actually! Fools be trippin' on powah. :tease2

Pineapple on/in spaghetti, though? ...I would try it but I cannot envision that being particularly good. Especially at that ratio - those chunks are too large!
Click to expand...

Considering you couldn’t give us your usual 80,000 word thesis on the subject, I think that goes to show just how flimsy your argument is.
 
Raine

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Mark said:
Considering you couldn’t give us your usual 80,000 word thesis on the subject, I think that goes to show just how flimsy your argument is.
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I'unno, this sounds like a challenge...

I totally went on a game binge for a couple days and don't yet remember which way is up. But give me some time and y'all are maybe totally in for it! :nuts
 
Mark

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TD said:
Reading this thread really brings out the Scorched Earth side of me.

Come at me pineapple on pizza lovers.

There are a few things in this world that are considered controversial, and one of them is definitely the toppings on a pizza. As a self-proclaimed pizza connoisseur, I have tried countless combinations and have learned to appreciate every single one of them. However, there is one particular topping that I simply cannot wrap my head around – pineapple. Yes, I said it, pineapple does not belong on pizza. And let me tell you the story behind this controversial statement.

It all started when I was in college. It was the start of a new semester and as usual, my friends and I decided to celebrate by ordering some pizzas. Of course, like any typical group, we all had different preferences when it came to toppings. Some wanted pepperoni, some wanted sausage, and some wanted mushrooms. However, there was one friend who decided to go rogue and order a pineapple pizza. At first, I didn't think much of it. I mean, how bad could it be? I had heard of Hawaiin pizza before. But little did I know that this decision would forever change my perspective on pizza.

As soon as the pizza arrived, I could already smell the sweet aroma of the pineapple. 'Hmm, this might actually be good,' I thought to myself. But as soon as I took my first bite, I knew something was wrong. The sweetness of the pineapple completely overpowered the savory taste of pizza. It was like having a dessert on top of a main dish. My friends, on the other hand, seemed to be loving it, and I couldn't understand why. As the night went on, my friends kept raving about how delicious the pineapple pizza was and even offered me a slice, but I politely declined.

From that day on, the pineapple pizza became a constant presence in our gatherings. It seemed like my friends had formed some sort of cult around it. Every time we ordered pizza, the majority would vote for pineapple and I would always be the odd one out. I would hear things like, 'Come on, just try it!' or 'You're missing out!' But I stood my ground, I refused to let that traitor of a fruit infiltrate my beloved pizza.

My antipathy towards pineapple on pizza soon became a running joke among my friends. I would be greeted with pineapple memes and jokes whenever I see them. It was all fun and games until our graduation day. As a celebratory gesture, my friends decided to throw a surprise pizza party for me. Knowing them, I knew it would have a catch. And of course, the catch was that all the pizzas had pineapple toppings on them.

I couldn't believe it, they were all in on it. And as much as I didn't want to, I had to eat the pizza out of respect for my friends. But let me tell you, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. Pineapple bits were getting stuck in between my teeth and I could feel the sweetness lingering in my mouth even after drinking gallons of water. It was like torture. I couldn't even fake a smile as my friends gleefully watched me eat.

From that day on, I made it my mission to educate people on the blasphemy of putting pineapple on pizza. I created a PowerPoint presentation, made posters, and even staged a mock trial to prove my case. But no matter how much evidence I presented, there were still those who argued that pineapple on pizza was a delicious combination. It was like I was in a never-ending battle with pineapple lovers.

But then, one day, my luck changed. I landed a job in a small pizzeria as a server. I was over the moon because not only was I going to get paid to eat pizza, but I also saw this as an opportunity to prove my point once and for all. And let me tell you, this pizza joint was a game-changer. The owner was a self-proclaimed pizza perfectionist, and he strictly stuck to traditional toppings. No fancy and exotic toppings were allowed in this establishment. When a customer would ask for pineapple on their pizza, the owner would look at them like they just asked for a puppy to be cooked and served on their pizza. I knew I had found my people.

As I worked at the pizzeria, my love for pizza grew even more. I enjoyed seeing the look of satisfaction on the customers' faces as they took a bite of their classic, pineapple-free pizza. And every time I see someone ordering a pineapple pizza at a different establishment, I just shake my head in disappointment. But hey, to each their own, but it is a valid reason for murder.

In conclusion, pineapple might be delicious on its own, but it does not belong on a pizza. I have been through enough trauma to know that it's a combination best left unexplored. And to all the pineapple lovers out there, I'm sorry, but you're just wrong. I'll be content with my pepperoni and cheese pizza, thank you very much.
Click to expand...

Summary: @Raine = rekt by the shitposter.
 
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TD said:
Reading this thread really brings out the Scorched Earth side of me.

Come at me pineapple on pizza lovers.

There are a few things in this world that are considered controversial, and one of them is definitely the toppings on a pizza. As a self-proclaimed pizza connoisseur, I have tried countless combinations and have learned to appreciate every single one of them. However, there is one particular topping that I simply cannot wrap my head around – pineapple. Yes, I said it, pineapple does not belong on pizza. And let me tell you the story behind this controversial statement.

It all started when I was in college. It was the start of a new semester and as usual, my friends and I decided to celebrate by ordering some pizzas. Of course, like any typical group, we all had different preferences when it came to toppings. Some wanted pepperoni, some wanted sausage, and some wanted mushrooms. However, there was one friend who decided to go rogue and order a pineapple pizza. At first, I didn't think much of it. I mean, how bad could it be? I had heard of Hawaiin pizza before. But little did I know that this decision would forever change my perspective on pizza.

As soon as the pizza arrived, I could already smell the sweet aroma of the pineapple. 'Hmm, this might actually be good,' I thought to myself. But as soon as I took my first bite, I knew something was wrong. The sweetness of the pineapple completely overpowered the savory taste of pizza. It was like having a dessert on top of a main dish. My friends, on the other hand, seemed to be loving it, and I couldn't understand why. As the night went on, my friends kept raving about how delicious the pineapple pizza was and even offered me a slice, but I politely declined.

From that day on, the pineapple pizza became a constant presence in our gatherings. It seemed like my friends had formed some sort of cult around it. Every time we ordered pizza, the majority would vote for pineapple and I would always be the odd one out. I would hear things like, 'Come on, just try it!' or 'You're missing out!' But I stood my ground, I refused to let that traitor of a fruit infiltrate my beloved pizza.

My antipathy towards pineapple on pizza soon became a running joke among my friends. I would be greeted with pineapple memes and jokes whenever I see them. It was all fun and games until our graduation day. As a celebratory gesture, my friends decided to throw a surprise pizza party for me. Knowing them, I knew it would have a catch. And of course, the catch was that all the pizzas had pineapple toppings on them.

I couldn't believe it, they were all in on it. And as much as I didn't want to, I had to eat the pizza out of respect for my friends. But let me tell you, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. Pineapple bits were getting stuck in between my teeth and I could feel the sweetness lingering in my mouth even after drinking gallons of water. It was like torture. I couldn't even fake a smile as my friends gleefully watched me eat.

From that day on, I made it my mission to educate people on the blasphemy of putting pineapple on pizza. I created a PowerPoint presentation, made posters, and even staged a mock trial to prove my case. But no matter how much evidence I presented, there were still those who argued that pineapple on pizza was a delicious combination. It was like I was in a never-ending battle with pineapple lovers.

But then, one day, my luck changed. I landed a job in a small pizzeria as a server. I was over the moon because not only was I going to get paid to eat pizza, but I also saw this as an opportunity to prove my point once and for all. And let me tell you, this pizza joint was a game-changer. The owner was a self-proclaimed pizza perfectionist, and he strictly stuck to traditional toppings. No fancy and exotic toppings were allowed in this establishment. When a customer would ask for pineapple on their pizza, the owner would look at them like they just asked for a puppy to be cooked and served on their pizza. I knew I had found my people.

As I worked at the pizzeria, my love for pizza grew even more. I enjoyed seeing the look of satisfaction on the customers' faces as they took a bite of their classic, pineapple-free pizza. And every time I see someone ordering a pineapple pizza at a different establishment, I just shake my head in disappointment. But hey, to each their own, but it is a valid reason for murder.

In conclusion, pineapple might be delicious on its own, but it does not belong on a pizza. I have been through enough trauma to know that it's a combination best left unexplored. And to all the pineapple lovers out there, I'm sorry, but you're just wrong. I'll be content with my pepperoni and cheese pizza, thank you very much.
Click to expand...
I took the easy way out and asked AI to assist

The Culinary Catastrophe of Pineapple on Pizza

In the world of pizza toppings, there exists a line that many believe should never be crossed. This line is drawn in the flour-dusted kitchens of tradition, and it is here that the pineapple dares to tread. The very notion of pineapple on pizza sends shivers down the spines of culinary connoisseurs, evoking a sense of dread that can only be likened to a gastronomic apocalypse.

The Flavor Fiasco

Imagine, if you will, the horror of biting into a slice of pizza, expecting the familiar harmony of mozzarella, tomato, and basil, only to be ambushed by the jarring sweetness of pineapple. The fruit's syrupy intrusion disrupts the savory symphony that pizza is known for, creating a discordant taste experience that bewilders the palate.

The Textural Turmoil

Beyond the flavor, there's the textural turmoil to consider. The soft, chewy dough and the delicate crispness of perfectly charred crust are rudely interrupted by the fibrous, juicy chunks of pineapple. It's a textural mismatch that can ruin the structural integrity of the slice, leading to a soggy and unsatisfying mess.

The Traditionalist's Torment

For the traditionalists, the addition of pineapple is nothing short of heresy. Pizza, with its roots deeply embedded in Italian culture, has a legacy to uphold. The introduction of pineapple is seen as a flagrant disregard for this legacy, a culinary crime that undermines the very essence of what pizza stands for.

Conclusion: Preserving Pizza Purity

In conclusion, while the debate over pineapple on pizza may rage on, it's clear that for many, this topping is an unwelcome guest at the pizza party. It's a matter of preserving the purity of pizza, of honoring the time-honored traditions that have made this dish a global favorite. So let us lay down our pineapples and pick up our pepperonis, and may our pizzas remain untainted by the horrors of the Hawaiian.
 
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