Verdict wiping sitting down or standing

[Ants!]

What on earth is this thread

Is this like a CAPTCHA to catch COPPA violations?

Hey now don't give the game away.

 

[Mark]

I’m just glad we don’t have to ban @Fire Queen again…

 

[Fire Queen]

yeah, i doubt my dad could find a fax machine to send in the form this time around

 

[Mark]

yeah, i doubt my dad could find a fax machine to send in the form this time around

I don’t even know where a fax machine is… or a landline to connect to it… or where the damn paper is.

The fact that you even know what a fax machine is means you’re old enough to be here by today’s standards. 13 year olds today have never heard of a BlackBerry.

 

[Fire Queen]

The fact that you even know what a fax machine is means you’re old enough to be here by today’s standards. 13 year olds today have never heard of a BlackBerry.

i keep a floppy disk in my classroom (it's Descent for all you classic PC gamers out there) to show students why the save icon looks the way it does

 

[Mark]

i keep a floppy disk in my classroom (it's Descent for all you classic PC gamers out there) to show students why the save icon looks the way it does

I don’t feel old. Mentally. I swear. What range do you cover in your history class? I refuse to accept that the 80’s and 90’s are a part of it.

 

[shortkut]

yeah, i doubt my dad could find a fax machine to send in the form this time around

I have a fax machine at work

 

[Fire Queen]

I don’t feel old. Mentally. I swear. What range do you cover in your history class? I refuse to accept that the 80’s and 90’s are a part of it.

in previous years, when our units were set up chronologically, we were typically lucky if we could make it to the reagan era. vietnam was generally the last thing that got covered in-depth, with some lip service paid towards watergate, the oil crisis, and the hostage crisis if we had the time. however, last year, the curriculum changed from chronological to thematic. we have a unit for politics specifically, one for migration and movement, one for culture, one for domestic conflict, and we're currently wrapping up the foreign conflict unit.

it was a hard adjustment at first but i've grown to really appreciate the new format since it allows for us to kind of hop around in time. here are some of the topics we cover that are going to make you feel very old:

• in terms of 80s culture the challenger explosion is the biggest things these students have zero context for.
• early 90s domestic terrorism. ruby ridge, okc bombing, atl olympics bombing, unabomber, you name it.
• 90s culture, too, primarily the birth of reality television--in other words, the OJ Simpson police chase and trial. we cover that in context with the Rodney King beating and the subsequent acquittal/riots since both involve the LAPD
• the advent of the internet, of course, and even a little bit of talk about the dot-com bubble and y2k
• 9/11 is what i probably get the most questions about, and we cover that in context with the persian gulf war and operation desert storm. i mention the PATRIOT act as well
• i also always have to tell my kids about when bush 41 hurled on the japanese prime minister
• and all the beautiful bush 43 moments. childrens do learn. now watch me hit this drive. and the shoeing of course
• also bush-related, most of my students were born after hurricane katrina, so that's part of the curriculum too. that's right, even the 00s are part of history now. i'm sorry to be the one to tell you this

 

[Mark]

in previous years, when our units were set up chronologically, we were typically lucky if we could make it to the reagan era. vietnam was generally the last thing that got covered in-depth, with some lip service paid towards watergate, the oil crisis, and the hostage crisis if we had the time. however, last year, the curriculum changed from chronological to thematic. we have a unit for politics specifically, one for migration and movement, one for culture, one for domestic conflict, and we're currently wrapping up the foreign conflict unit.

it was a hard adjustment at first but i've grown to really appreciate the new format since it allows for us to kind of hop around in time. here are some of the topics we cover that are going to make you feel very old:

• in terms of 80s culture the challenger explosion is the biggest things these students have zero context for.
• early 90s domestic terrorism. ruby ridge, okc bombing, atl olympics bombing, unabomber, you name it.
• 90s culture, too, primarily the birth of reality television--in other words, the OJ Simpson police chase and trial. we cover that in context with the Rodney King beating and the subsequent acquittal/riots since both involve the LAPD
• the advent of the internet, of course, and even a little bit of talk about the dot-com bubble and y2k
• 9/11 is what i probably get the most questions about, and we cover that in context with the persian gulf war and operation desert storm. i mention the PATRIOT act as well
• i also always have to tell my kids about when bush 41 hurled on the japanese prime minister
• and all the beautiful bush 43 moments. childrens do learn. now watch me hit this drive. and the shoeing of course
• also bush-related, most of my students were born after hurricane katrina, so that's part of the curriculum too. that's right, even the 00s are part of history now. i'm sorry to be the one to tell you this

I’m a little conflicted about how I feel about this… on one hand, I can definitely see the benefits of categorizing various topics as opposed to chronologically ordering them, but on the other I can see how it was necessary to contain as much information as possible. Within the context of history, it’s better to have a “Jack of all trades, master of none” than someone who’s really proficient on the War of 1812 in the year 2024. I want to say that the last history class that I ended on had relatively current events at the time, touching on the events in Kosovo during Clinton’s second term, so that lines up with the “old ways” I suppose. It does sound like you present history in a comprehensive way, though. History was always my favorite subject in school, it’s nice to see that with all the shit going on in the world that some teachers are still doing the right thing by making sure generations after us know their history so it doesn’t repeat itself.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

I have a fax machine at work

Same. It never gets used. Because who the fuck still uses Fax Machines?

 

[dimmerwit]

Same. It never gets used. Because who the fuck still uses Fax Machines?

The Japanese.

 

[shortkut]

Same. It never gets used. Because who the fuck still uses Fax Machines?

Legally, it is one of the few ways to send a prescription. Email, for example, is not valid

 

[Fire Queen]

History was always my favorite subject in school, it’s nice to see that with all the shit going on in the world that some teachers are still doing the right thing by making sure generations after us know their history so it doesn’t repeat itself.

yup. i tell my kiddos all the time that i don't want to teach them WHAT to think but HOW to think. and whenever any of them ask "was [so-and-so politician/president] good or bad" i look at them like they're crazy and say they need to make that decision for themselves and not have someone tell it to them.

 

[Mark]

yup. i tell my kiddos all the time that i don't want to teach them WHAT to think but HOW to think. and whenever any of them ask "was [so-and-so politician/president] good or bad" i look at them like they're crazy and say they need to make that decision for themselves and not have someone tell it to them.

Precisely. Everywhere you turn, there’s someone or something trying to tell you what to think, but there just aren’t quite enough people that share the mindset you have encouraging people to think for themselves. There was an issue a couple years back with one of the teachers at my daughter’s old middle school putting her opinions into the curriculum, which is fine, but label it as such. We can’t be confusing kids with our warped perspectives, otherwise the bad shit will just perpetuate, and those kids need all the help they can get with the world we’re leaving them.

 

[Ants!]

Going on a pretend judge vacation for a few days. Everyone else in the courtroom remain in your seats, no bathroom breaks are allowed.

 

[Jawneh]

I'd like to inform the court, that Ants! is the sitting judge on this case.

 

[Mark]

I'd like to inform the court, that Ants! is the sitting judge on this case.

Are you the new stenographer?

 

[Jawneh]

Are you the new stenographer?

As cool as real stenographs and stenographers are, I'm not sure if my brain could handle all that.

Maybe after months of practice, but still naw.

 

[canadaguy]

The Japanese.

As someone who works with Japanese customers quite often, this tracks.

I need to specifically access a site via IE-mode on Edge to send results to one customer

 

[Mark]

As cool as real stenographs and stenographers are, I'm not sure if my brain could handle all that.

Maybe after months of practice, but still naw.

I could never figure out how they were able to keep up with all the details in the courtroom in real-time. That’s an impressive skill set.

 

[Jawneh]

I could never figure out how they were able to keep up with all the details in the courtroom in real-time. That’s an impressive skill set.

I want to say other than the assload of research and dollars you have to spend to become a successful lawyer or judge, the stenographers are up there as ones with the hardest jobs out there. Unless your brain just clicks with that. I imagine Then it's no problem.

It's insane how fast you can type with one. I'm casually typing at around 70 wpm without trying hard, but those suckers start around 200 mark. Like what the hell.

 

[Mark]

I want to say other than the assload of research and dollars you have to spend to become a successful lawyer or judge, the stenographers are up there as ones with the hardest jobs out there. Unless your brain just clicks with that. I imagine Then it's no problem.

It's insane how fast you can type with one. I'm casually typing at around 70 wpm without trying hard, but those suckers start around 200 mark. Like what the hell.

Realistically thinking… any type of data entry job is mentally taxing, if for no other reason than the monotony. Factor in the speed and the need to listen to multiple parties simultaneously, and you’ve got something that only a select few people with data entry experience could ever fathom doing on a day to day basis. I know I’d come home with a migraine after a single shift attempting it, that’s for sure.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Guys quick I gotta poop where did we land on this

 

[dimmerwit]

Just use your hand Asian-style.

 

[shortkut]

Guys quick I gotta poop where did we land on this

Hold it

 

[Jon]

Guys quick I gotta poop where did we land on this

The 3 shells.

 

[Jon]

Also, you haven't pooped in 10 days? Might want to get that checked out, buddy. That stuff gets toxic after 3.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Also, you haven't pooped in 10 days? Might want to get that checked out, buddy. That stuff gets toxic after 3.

Normally I just blast my o-ring with a hose but they done turnt off the water

 

[Mark]

Just use your hand Asian-style.

Wait… this wasn’t submitted in the opening statements.

Hold it

…or cut it off with the poop knife.

 

[shortkut]

Wait… this wasn’t submitted in the opening statements.



…or cut it off with the poop knife.

I thought poop knife was after it’s in the toilet

 

[Mark]

I thought poop knife was after it’s in the toilet

There are no rules anymore. It’s 2024.

 

[A PineSol Scent]

Please don't wipe your butt with a knife

 

[VashTheStampede]

Please don't wipe your butt with a knife

 

[Mark]

Please don't wipe your butt with a knife

Clean pass, clean ass.

 

[Ants!]

I nominate Tommy Boy as my bench warmer.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Friendly reminder that if you sit on a public toilet seat and the seat is still warm, someone just dropped a fat deuce in that pool. The true bench warmer.

 

[Mark]

Friendly reminder that if you sit on a public toilet seat and the seat is still warm, someone just dropped a fat deuce in that pool. The true bench warmer.

My ass will never touch a public toilet seat. That’s how you get herpacyphilAIDs around here.

 

[Holly]

Back to the topic at hand, I stand kind of bent over and hold one ass cheek open with one hand and wipe with the other. I do not comprehend how to wipe without standing up and just leaning forward while sitting puts my hand way too close to the toilet seat.

I wish I had a bidet.

 

[MC74]

My ass will never touch a public toilet seat. That’s how you get herpacyphilAIDs around here.

I try to avoid public washrooms for that very reason. That, and they tend to be dirty, plus the amount of people I've seen walk out of the bathroom without washing their hands is shocking.

 

[Quagmire]

So what's the verdict? I've been holding my poop in for weeks now waiting for this verdict, starting to feel sick because of it

 

[Ants!]

I dunno man, I haven't thoroughly read the thread yet and been hoping other people might do the judge thing once in a while lol

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Bangs Toilet Seat

A verdict has been reached.

Any person who wipes standing up is a heathen who did not clean their assessment ass properly and is likely to walk around smelling like actual shit.

Wiping sitting down is required. How ever you lean is irrelevant as long as at least one cheek rests on the seat.

You have been Judged.

 

[A PineSol Scent]

 

[Quagmire]

Bangs Toilet Seat

A verdict has been reached.

Any person who wipes standing up is a heathen who did not clean their assessment ass properly and is likely to walk around smelling like actual shit.

Wiping sitting down is required. How ever you lean is irrelevant as long as at least one cheek rests on the seat.

You have been Judged.

I feel so much better, and about 10 lbs lighter

 

[Fool's Requiem]

I feel so much better, and about 10 lbs lighter

those are always the best ones

 

[Nae'blis]

those are always the best ones

Followed by a ghost wipe.

 

[Mark]

Followed by a ghost wipe.

…and the finale of a streak-free bowl.