Discussion What GWForums gave me in 2023

[Crystal]

I don't really know why I'm writing this, honestly, but I feel I need to. As 2023 winds down and we're looking at a Year in Review kind of thing that we're going to work on, I started thinking about how GWForums radically altered my 2023, and all that these forums have given to me. So, since I'm thinking about it...I thought I'd write this.

I don't make it a secret that I have a lot of struggles mentally, physically, emotionally. I say that not to gain sympathy, but simply as a statement of fact, it's a part of why I've always latched onto forums and enjoyed using them as a medium to communicate, a chance to express myself far more openly than I'm comfortable doing in real life, and it's why I've made it a point to participate in forums for over 25 years at this point. GW wasn't my first forum adventure, but it sure as hell proved to be my best and most formative. When it shut down it did feel like a big loss, and I understand a lot of people had moved on by the time GW shuttered its' doors, but at the same time there were still a decent amount of us there and it was just nice to be able to chat to those people all the time. It felt like losing that one place in life that was always there. I kept up with other forums, joined new ones, started several of my own projects, but GW closed not too long after I quit my job as a programmer to look after my mother full time, so my distractions were limited. I don't want it to seem like I lost my one and only outlet, I had others then, I have others now. I've met some incredible, wonderful, hopefully lifelong friends through other communities (@Lee, @Jay, Webby ( @Webster ), Nebby ( @Nebulous ), and so many more), I met someone very special to me on another community, and I met the person I lovingly call my sister on yet another community; however, GW was something special. It was the site that I, and so many of us, grew up with. Literally. So it was a special, special place and it was a real shame to lose it. Point being GW helped me cope with some pretty severe mental issues while it was around, and losing it meant losing myself for a long time. Depression got worse, suicidal ideation got worse, and my own guilt at hiding my true self got worse. I self-harmed, self-medicated, self...everything. Until I finally came to terms with me, got some professional help and came out as me. Life wasn't perfect, but it was better.

Fast forward to 2023 and it's been a rough year. Even with therapy, even with a psychiatrist and medication, I still have issues with depression and suicidal ideation, probably always will, but I was at a point where I was letting stupid things get to me and start me spiraling into a never-ending web of self-hatred and depression. I would isolate myself from friends, lash out at family, disappear from places where I was normally present and active. I actually reached a point where a few friends cut me off because they just plain didn't want to deal with me, and they were right to do so! Thankfully I managed to patch up at least one of those friendships, which I'm eternally grateful for, but some...the damage was done, and it was entirely my fault. I don't like fighting with people, it's not me, so I try to avoid it and find a resolution, to have that happening multiple times during 2023 sucked, it hurt a lot. So I buried my head in the sand, looked elsewhere for things to distract myself, and yet it always came back to forums for me. I love them, I like to tinker with forums, I like to build them up and see if anyone takes an interest in them. 90% of the time they don't, but once in a while you hit on a winner and it feels good. I started really thinking about GW again in mid 2023, and how much I really wanted to get back in touch with a lot of GW people, but I just plain didn't know their details. Then I thought how amazing it would be if someone started a forum for former GW members and anyone else that wanted to take part. The reddit got no real traction, the FB group wasn't that active, the discord was mostly dead...the forum probably wouldn't get much traffic, but maybe just maybe a few people would join and we could have a little fun reminiscing about GW on a forum inspired by it. I started doing some domain searches, seeing if anything was available, and sure enough GWForums.com was available and affordable. Perfect! I snagged it. A very dear friend loaned me a license for XenForo because all of mine were tapped on other projects, and a couple of days later GWForums was born. I hesitated, I loaded the FB group and the reddit group and composed posts, but it took me a good two hours to press the submit buttons, and within seconds...LITERAL SECONDS I see a name that instantly made me smile. @Mark liked the post and was registering. We hadn't spoken properly in some time, but there he was, and then we got another, @Alu had joined! Then @Major Isoor, then @Tommy Boy...and suddenly we had a group of people posting. First night we were in the hundreds of posts, by morning we'd broken 1,000. So many amazing people had joined and were posting, it was incredible (so many great people -- Vash, Cole, The Eye in the Sky!, BigDaddy, Rick, Rachel, Holly, everyone...). I thought we'd get maybe a day of this and it would start to die out as people checked in and then went back to their normal social media haunts. But no. It turned into weeks, then a month...then two. 5,000, 10,000, 20,000 posts and climbing. Every day I would check in and every day I'd have the dumbest smile on my face at the sight of this site being here, being active and being used by so many of the people I'd missed seeing, AND some of my best friends from other sites joining in, too. It was the perfect situation at just the right time. Lightning in a bottle.

Six months later and we're still here. We're pushing 90,000 posts and 200 users! So many people are enjoying being here, we've had people reconnect, some of us have gotten to know each other better than we did on GW, we've rebuilt bridges, many are raising younglings, but we're here. We've managed to recapture that community we had back then. Fewer niches, less cliquey, and more grownup, but it's still us, and we've expanded with some people from my own forum journeys joining this amazing family we've built. I've said this elsewhere in the forums, but I never imagined GWF would turn into what it has, and I am so, so thankful to see it's growth. I know this seems a little egotistical, talking about GWF as if it were mine and reveling in its' success as if I had anything at all to do with it. GWF is everyone, it's all of us, and me opening the doors is a minor footnote in what I hope will be a long and happy history for us all.

So I want to bring this back to the thread title briefly. What GWForums has given me in 2023. Since GWForums opened my issues with depression haven't exactly gone away, but they've gotten better. I confess that I've had issues with suicidal ideation and made an attempt within the lifespan of GWF, but even these thoughts are more under control. I got to share my real self with people I care about (I did post a little about that on reddit and FB, but I never felt comfortable being who I really am until we had our own space, if that makes sense), and while I'm sure it's been awkward along the way ( ), it's been great to be able to be so open and honest, AND I got the chance to interact with and become friends with two wonderfully amazing trans women for which I am extremely thankful! I still have a lot of personality quirks, I know people don't always appreciate me being self-deprecating, but that's just a part of me, something I'm working on. Point being, the main thing GWForums has given me in 2023 is a great deal of joy and happiness, and I can't wait to see how things go in 2024! We've got bean counters and shitposters, craft brewers and dungeon masters. Who knows what we'll see in 2024, but I can't wait to find out! I owe each and every one of you a great deal for making this community what it is. Thank you all, so very much.

I don't know what I really wanted to say with all of this, I just wanted to get it out as I was thinking about what GWForums saw in 2023, and this came out. If you want to share your own take on GWForums and anything it's given you, please do! Hopefully we'll get rolling on the Year in Review part of things soon, as well, so we can show all that GWForums has accomplished in its' short six month existence!

 

[TD]

Thank you for sharing Crystal - and thank you for bringing GWF to life. I know the place means different things to different people.

I know for me - my time on the boards has had ups and downs, but I've also accepted that is a me issue. There are things I've been working on and continue to work on.

It's no secret that 2023 has not been my year, for the most part - it's actually been a horrible year for reasons I won't regurgitate because if you already know or care to know, you likely do.

I've taken steps to start taking care of me and my mental health for what feels like the first time ever and I owe a lot of that to this small community.

It's been a judgment-free support network when I needed it, when a spat happens there doesn't appear to be any noticeable resentment, and generally speaking we're all friends here.

GWF allowed me to see it's okay to not be okay and that it's okay to step outside your comfort zone for help. For objective purposes, I trusted "internet strangers" with some of my deepest internal struggles and this community has become far more than the "internet strangers" mindset I first had.

I care about the people here and what they go through or feel. Maybe to a fault sometimes, but recently I've definitely realized that it's not a one way street and it feels nice to.. belong somewhere.

A lot of my life has been in shambles for a few years and some aspects only got worse, but GWF helps me cope.

It's an outlet, it's a distraction, it's something for me to do to escape my physical reality as shit continually gets harder - and for a long time I've felt like I've dealt with everything in my life alone. Hearing Crystal openly talk about her therapy and mental health opened that door for me. Cole telling me not to shoulder this alone. The tremendous outpour of support, kind words, and advice when I shared what's going on in my life.

I've never had this kind of support in my life, ever. For it to come from a group that I once thought of as "internet strangers" is eye opening to me and that you never know where you'll find friendship and good people.

Shit - even when I said I was leaving GWF I half expected to be met with a swift kick in the ass and a good riddance since that's what has happened my whole life.

So yeah, this group of people here on GWF is what I think I can comfortably call friends - in a way I've never had friends before.

So yeah, thank you Crystal, Mark, Cole, the rest of the staff, the other members - this place that you've built here?

It's incredible.
You should be proud.

 

[Crystal]

You made some great points, TD, and thank you for sharing! I hope no one has to struggle internally with their mental health thinking they're all alone. Anyone that is struggling, please reach out! Whether it's to me, to a friend you have on here or irl, or even the group as a whole. You are NOT alone and you don't have to suffer in silence. It took me 30+ years to realize that, and I wish I'd grasped that concept earlier, because it truly is okay NOT to be okay. We all go through it, we all need that helping hand or that one person to just tell us everything will be ok. It's a hard road, it's a long road, but it's such an important journey to take. Mental health struggles are awful, but doing it alone makes it so, so much worse.

I've never had this kind of support in my life, ever. For it to come from a group that I once thought of as "internet strangers" is eye opening to me and that you never know where you'll find friendship and good people.

I'm glad that you did open up, and I'm so proud of everyone for showing you what I found when I first started opening up -- good people are all around us, all the time. We just need to let them in.

So yeah, this group of people here on GWF is what I think I can comfortably call friends - in a way I've never had friends before.

Yep, everyone here is a friend, no matter what.

So yeah, thank you Crystal, Mark, Cole, the rest of the staff, the other members - this place that you've built here?

It's incredible.
You should be proud.

Oh I'm proud. Incredibly proud of what we all as a community have built.

 

[Jon]

I like you fuckers more than most anyone in my "real life."

Hell, I've KNOWN you fuckers longer than most people in my real life.

You fuckers aren't getting rid of me that easily (sorry, Vash).

I love you fuckers!

 

[Crystal]

I like you fuckers more than most anyone in my "real life."

Hell, I've KNOWN you fuckers longer than most people in my real life.

You fuckers aren't getting rid of me that easily (sorry, Vash).

I love you fuckers!

Fucking hell.

 

[Mark]

Back in 2001 I joined the forums because I was bored and looking for help with FFVII.

Earlier this year, I was reloading Facebook’s group page because prior to recreational legalization, smokers relied on groups to find new sources of bud. As fate would have it, @Crystal had JUST made the post she mentioned, so I detoured from the weed search and registered.

When I joined the first time, I was a teenager that had no clue what life had in store for me. Ultimately, when I ended up leaving, it wasn’t a decision I wanted to make… so I didn’t. My offline life was just too demanding, but GW was always special to me.

When I joined the second time this year, it didn’t take long to notice that the people that found their way here were all experiencing the same disconnect from modern social media as me. We were all reminiscing and thinking back to simpler times. We all missed the good ol’ days. As soon as @Crystal asked me to come on board and help, I knew we had a mission on our hands, and collectively, we knew we had something very important we had to try and pull off.

Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be back here with you fuckers doing this again. Yet, here we all are… every generation of staff, every generation of members, together again.

It’s an amazing thing to be a part of.

 

[Crystal]

Back in 2001 I joined the forums because I was bored and looking for help with FFVII.

Earlier this year, I was reloading Facebook’s group page because prior to recreational legalization, smokers relied on groups to find new sources of bud. As fate would have it, @Crystal had JUST made the post she mentioned, so I detoured from the weed search and registered.

When I joined the first time, I was a teenager that had no clue what life had in store for me. Ultimately, when I ended up leaving, it wasn’t a decision I wanted to make… so I didn’t. My offline life was just too demanding, but GW was always special to me.

When I joined the second time this year, it didn’t take long to notice that the people that found their way here were all experiencing the same disconnect from modern social media as me. We were all reminiscing and thinking back to simpler times. We all missed the good ol’ days. As soon as @Crystal asked me to come on board and help, I knew we had a mission on our hands, and collectively, we knew we had something very important we had to try and pull off.

Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be back here with you fuckers doing this again. Yet, here we all are… every generation of staff, every generation of members, together again.

It’s an amazing thing to be a part of.

Yep, it felt immediately we all clicked and it was easy to see that we all needed this, I know I did. It was awesome seeing things fall into place and people embrace it like they have. Would have thought six months back we'd be working on another forum project together? Let alone a GW-based one? No chance, and yet! I love it, I love everyone here and I'm so glad you all joined and connected, and working with you and Cole again has been awesome! Truly fantastic

 

[Mark]

Yep, it felt immediately we all clicked and it was easy to see that we all needed this, I know I did. It was awesome seeing things fall into place and people embrace it like they have. Would have thought six months back we'd be working on another forum project together? Let alone a GW-based one? No chance, and yet! I love it, I love everyone here and I'm so glad you all joined and connected, and working with you and Cole again has been awesome! Truly fantastic

I’ll be honest, I never intended on getting involved with another project after the last one. I let too much of my personal bullshit bleed over into my decision-making and ultimately ended up hurting friends, but that was common back then as I withdrew from everyone.

I almost didn’t accept the invite to admin because I didn’t want to let people down again, didn’t feel like I was capable of doing the admin work after so long, and just didn’t think I’d be able to contribute anything of real value.

Then, I almost stepped away after feeling misunderstood during a debate here. I honestly felt out of place, like my offline experiences with work and growing up where I did/how I did turned me into someone that didn’t “fit in” with “normal” people that weren’t made to see things the way I do. My activity dropped, it may or may not have been noticed. After a while, though, I realized that I’m not gonna get another mindset than the one I’ve always known if I’m not exposed to other ways of thinking… and I’m not gonna have to opportunity to share with y’all that I’m not just some sadistic fuck that thinks it’s okay for certain people to die if it falls within certain parameters.

It has certainly been a wild ride.

 

[Crystal]

I’ll be honest, I never intended on getting involved with another project after the last one. I let too much of my personal bullshit bleed over into my decision-making and ultimately ended up hurting friends, but that was common back then as I withdrew from everyone.

I almost didn’t accept the invite to admin because I didn’t want to let people down again, didn’t feel like I was capable of doing the admin work after so long, and just didn’t think I’d be able to contribute anything of real value.

Then, I almost stepped away after feeling misunderstood during a debate here. I honestly felt out of place, like my offline experiences with work and growing up where I did/how I did turned me into someone that didn’t “fit in” with “normal” people that weren’t made to see things the way I do. My activity dropped, it may or may not have been noticed. After a while, though, I realized that I’m not gonna get another mindset than the one I’ve always known if I’m not exposed to other ways of thinking… and I’m not gonna have to opportunity to share with y’all that I’m not just some sadistic fuck that thinks it’s okay for certain people to die if it falls within certain parameters.

It has certainly been a wild ride.

...normal people? What are normal people? I just see us, people of all different walks of life brought together by a common thread, sharing different viewpoints and engaging in discussions on different topics of interest, but all friends and all amazing.

As for letting people down -- never! Just showing up, saying hello, that made it all worth it for me. Joining me as an admin, and then Cole, too, that was just incredible. I didn't care if we kept things as basic as possible and never pursued any of the various things we've done, just having what we had was plenty. But you took to it amazingly, dove in and really drove things! I'm glad you said yes, and I'm glad you're an integral part of this group. You fit in just fine with us, Mark. Always will.

 

[TD]

All this talk of normal literally reminds me of what my 7yo niece said to me on Christmas, she said "Uncle Jeff, a girl at my school called me weird", to which I responded "we're all weird, some of us just try to hide it because we've been told to, be you".

In adult terms: fuck trying to be "normal".

 

[Crystal]

All this talk of normal literally reminds me of what my 7yo niece said to me on Christmas, she said "Uncle Jeff, a girl at my girl called me weird", to which I responded "we're all weird, some of us just try to hide it because we've been told to, be you".

In adult terms: fuck trying to be "normal".

Damn right! Be the best, most original version of yourself as you can be.

 

[Crystal]

 

[Lee]

 

[Crystal]

 

[Kat]

Yep, everyone here is a friend, no matter what.

Everyone except Grubby, you mean.

I'd been bouncing around a few forums before this one was started, but none of them were quite the community I was looking for. I had some reservations about joining this: would old friendships feel awkward? Would old feuds cause new problems? Is it just chasing nostalgia of something that can never be recreated and should be left behind? While it's definitely not the same place and none of us are the same people, I feel like the energy is still similar, and that has let us create something new and meaningful.

Then, I almost stepped away after feeling misunderstood during a debate here. I honestly felt out of place, like my offline experiences with work and growing up where I did/how I did turned me into someone that didn’t “fit in” with “normal” people that weren’t made to see things the way I do.

That's bound to be a struggle. A group of people all in the same geographical area are going to have some shared experiences and culture that us spread across the globe just won't. Hopefully we can all be kind and understanding when that happens. I'm glad you stuck it out with us!

 

[Crystal]

Everyone except Grubby, you mean.

Fair point, lol

I'd been bouncing around a few forums before this one was started, but none of them were quite the community I was looking for. I had some reservations about joining this: would old friendships feel awkward? Would old feuds cause new problems? Is it just chasing nostalgia of something that can never be recreated and should be left behind? While it's definitely not the same place and none of us are the same people, I feel like the energy is still similar, and that has let us create something new and meaningful.

Absolutely spot on. We're all different, but the spirit of GW still persists and it's a fun place to be overall.

That's bound to be a struggle. A group of people all in the same geographical area are going to have some shared experiences and culture that us spread across the globe just won't. Hopefully we can all be kind and understanding when that happens. I'm glad you stuck it out with us!

So far when something has come up we've all rallied to support each other, so I think we have the capability to tackle anything as a group

 

[Tubby23]

The fact that no one likes Grubby gives me great joy, fuck that guy!

But more seriously I think what the forum being back in 2023 gave me was the ability to express my creativity more freely. In my personal life, I probably at times hold myself back as I don't have the avenue to express some of the silliness in my head but here I can and I'm really thankful for that.

Also I think the ability to talk to like minded individuals where it relates to gaming. Most of my friends have "grown out of it" and have kids etc but I'm still massively into games and don't plan to have kids so at times I don't have people to talk to about it (other than my fiance who is interested but not super intense about it like I can be)

 

[Crystal]

We love everyone expressing themselves and their silliness, so let it flow!!

 

[Crystal]

Near enough four months on, this topic still makes me smile

 

[Quagmire]

I will say I enjoyed GW in 2023, but fuck man it has been a huge help in 2024 for me, so glad you started this back up!

 

[Crystal]

I will say I enjoyed GW in 2023, but fuck man it has been a huge help in 2024 for me, so glad you started this back up!

I'm glad GWF has been able to help, we all need support and it's awesome to find it within our group here. So many incredible people, it really has become a family, picking each other up and being there for the ups and the downs

 

[Mark]

I will say I enjoyed GW in 2023, but fuck man it has been a huge help in 2024 for me, so glad you started this back up!

And that’s the goal, to continue to build this place up. Even if we don’t have hundreds of thousands of members or even tens of thousands or thousands of members.

 

[Quagmire]

And that’s the goal, to continue to build this place up. Even if we don’t have hundreds of thousands of members or even tens of thousands or thousands of members.

Dont need that many, just like in real life no one has that many friends, a close tight nit community is so much more important than a huge and not close group

 

[Mark]

Dont need that many, just like in real life no one has that many friends, a close tight nit community is so much more important than a huge and not close group

Exactly. We’ve seen GW at its busiest, and it definitely seems like there is a preference for the more intimate setting of this place among the oldies these days.

 

[MC74]

Can't say anything about 2023 and it's a shame I can't because I wish I could've joined up sooner. However, I will say that I'm glad I'm here and look forward to being a part of this community.

 

[MC74]

Dont need that many, just like in real life no one has that many friends, a close tight nit community is so much more important than a huge and not close group

This so much. Communities like this one is a rarity, and while it'd be nice to have new people join up, having a community that's as welcoming & tight-knit as this one is more important.

 

[Crystal]

Yep, we welcome everyone that wants to join us, but I'm so happy and proud to be a part of this group. I hope we'll get some friends back, like @Tubby23, to help complete our family, but even if not, we have something here to be proud of.

 

[MC74]

Yep, we welcome everyone that wants to join us, but I'm so happy and proud to be a part of this group. I hope we'll get some friends back, like @Tubby23, to help complete our family, but even if not, we have something here to be proud of.

Especially after the old site went down, it's heartwarming seeing the community get back together. Hopefully it stays strong.

 

[Crystal]

Especially after the old site went down, it's heartwarming seeing the community get back together. Hopefully it stays strong.

Absolutely. There are no plans for the site to ever go anywhere, so with that stability in mind, fingers crossed we keep on building what we have

 

[MC74]

Absolutely. There are no plans for the site to ever go anywhere, so with that stability in mind, fingers crossed we keep on building what we have

Good, hope it stays that way. I'd like to think of GWF as a home.