Little Chocolate Donuts

[VashTheStampede]

1. Tastykake
Tastykake has this wonderful thick dark chocolate coating that is poured on so thick that the donuts usually don't have holes as much as a reservoir for this perfect (for shitty little donuts) chocolate.

2. Entenmann's
The chocolate is in the ballpark of Tastykake but falls just short. Arguably a better donut on the interior, but it doesn't combine with the Tastykake flavors as magically. Very close second though.

3. Hostess
This tastes the most like eating an actual donut. But we're not here to eat an actual donut. We can go to an actual donut place for that and it will crush this. This is about a shitty little chocolate donut. Stop trying so hard. Jesus christ.

4. Little Debbie
Little Debbie tastes like they just formed sugar into a brown donut like some sort of Play Doh. At least try a LITTLE, for fuck's sake.

 

[Mark]

I wouldn’t change a thing about this list, the order, or the rationale behind each brand’s placement.

You’re a true little chocolate donut connoisseur.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Much time has gone into this list.

I apparently typed up the first incarnation like a year ago lol

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Only thing that matters from Little Debby are Zebra Cakes.

 

[Mark]

Only thing that matters from Little Debby are Zebra Cakes.

Christmas Trees are also acceptable if Zebra Cakes are MIA.

 

[VashTheStampede]

My side hustle in high school was being a Zebra Cakes dealer.

 

[Mark]

My side hustle in high school was being a Zebra Cakes dealer.

I don’t think anyone at your kid’s PTA is here, dude. You can cop to still hustling kids for their lunch money.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Changing up the name of the product every once in a while to make them think the shit hits harder.

Got them Zs here

Heyo we got them Stripes

 

[Mark]

Changing up the name of the product every once in a while to make them think the shit hits harder.

Got them Zs here

Heyo we got them Stripes

Have you seen weed strain names lately? Throwing Z’s on them (Oreoz, Runtz) instantly bumps up the price and takes you outta lawsuit territory. You can corner the market using the same principle.

 

[BigDaddy]

Changing up the name of the product every once in a while to make them think the shit hits harder.

Got them Zs here

Heyo we got them Stripes

Meanwhile in Canada: