If americans came from british people, why do british people still exist?

[Crystal]

Yeah I already said Scottish.

You guys did bring us Owen Nolan but he switched to our side.

And Steve Thomas.

A lot of the problems in the Middle East can be traced back to British interference.

All we did was bring tea and cricket, and Marmite, but it's not our fault it was that divisive!

At least they’re not Denmark.

Europe's Canadia.

We got plenty of those here, animal and human form.

Indeed

I’m retired. I just send a guy.

Well send him, dammit, go get your own car!

It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna talk shit.

What the actual fuck? Ain’t no wonder y’all wanted India so bad if this is what you consider seasoning…

Don't knock until you try the glory that is Monster Munch

Great success.

High Five!

 

[Nae'blis]

Still better than Denmark.

Obviously.

It’s okay, we tried with every shape and border type and still fucked it up. We gave up intricacy like the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast towards the end and just started making squares and weird shapes the further west we went.

Well, atleast your country doesn't look like a shriveled-up dick...

 

[Crystal]

Obviously.


Well, atleast your country doesn't look like a shriveled-up dick...

Have you seen Florida?

 

[Nae'blis]

Have you seen Florida?

Oh you mean Americas appendix?

 

[Crystal]

Oh you mean Americas appendix?

Indeed!

 

[Mark]

*Loiscence

I feel like it’s still missing letters… maybe an “s” instead of the “c” at the end of something.

Also did wonder why Oklahoma was such a dumb shape.

Texas didn’t want that bit. I have a friend who lives near there. She cannot confirm or deny what goes on there.

Well, atleast your country doesn't look like a shriveled-up dick...

Nah, it’s just ran by them.

Have you seen Florida?

We don’t talk about Florida. Florida is to America is what Australia is to Britain.

 

[Crystal]

We don’t talk about Florida. Florida is to America is what Australia is to Britain.

A penal colony?

 

[Tubby23]

Everyone retires there

 

[Crystal]

Everyone retires there

But how does it work going to the toilet upside down? Surely it's a bloody mess when all of that falls out??

 

[canadaguy]

But how does it work going to the toilet upside down? Surely it's a bloody mess when all of that falls out??

I assumed the kangaroos pouch kinda closes up to contain everything

 

[Tubby23]

But how does it work going to the toilet upside down? Surely it's a bloody mess when all of that falls out??

If you have blood in your poop you should see a doctor

 

[Mark]

If you have blood in your poop you should see a doctor

 

[Crystal]

I assumed the kangaroos pouch kinda closes up to contain everything

Fair point!

If you have blood in your poop you should see a doctor

Touche

 

[Rachel]

My favorite thing about British people is how serious they take the Full English. If you post a photo of an attempt that looks kinda shitty they will roast the fuck out of you

Also did wonder why Oklahoma was such a dumb shape.

Texas didn't want that bit. I have a friend who lives near there. She cannot confirm or deny what goes on there.

Not sure if anyone is looking for a serious answer but it's because Texas wanted to keep slavery. It's the Missouri Compromise Line, parallel 36°30′ north. Texas ceded land so they could keep slaves.

 

[Crystal]

My favorite thing about British people is how serious they take the Full English. If you post a photo of an attempt that looks kinda shitty they will roast the fuck out of you

Thou shalt not besmirch the full English! 'Tis perfection.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Fixed that for you.

Europe in general fucked Africa. All of Africa's modern problems can be traced back to the Scramble for Africa. Many of the colonizing countries dipped out suddenly without helping those countries transition. They came in, robbed the continent of their resources and unceremoniously dipped out once being colonizers was considered to be a bad thing.

 

[Quagmire]

Thou shalt not besmirch the full English! 'Tis perfection.

Tomatoes and beans, no thank you, other than that it looks good

 

[Scott]

Tomatoes and beans, no thank you, other than that it looks good

Thems fighting words, pal

 

[Mark]

Tomatoes and beans, no thank you, other than that it looks good

The worst part is that it’s all flavorless.

“They cook like there are still bombers overhead.” is one of the most accurate statements I’ve ever read.

 

[Scott]

To be honest, I think it's a generational thing. My mum cooks like how her mum taught her - seasonings are a mystery foreign thing. Salt and pepper if you're lucky. Boils the hell out of everything, so any flavour it once had is long gone. No surprise I grew up thinking I was a fussy eater, na, turns out my mum can't cook that well.

I'm really thankful I taught myself to cook, which means I actually use things with flavour in them.

 

[Danny]

I'm a brit.

Should I leave in sadness?

 

[Mark]

I'm a brit.

Should I leave in sadness?

Y’all are like vegans. Just gotta announce yourselves unprompted. You don’t need to leave in sadness, we already know you’re used to the gloom over there.

 

[Marlfox]

Kinda traumatised that the back and forth post-quoting has continued this long. Especially on the subject of crisps/chips. Respect to Crystal for single-handedly holding up the British side of the banter.

Anyhoo mod close thread please.

It’s not mine to close but I thought I’d try my luck. If you want a winner, I’d award it to everyone who looked at this thread and decided not to take part.

 

[Mark]

Kinda traumatised that the back and forth post-quoting has continued this long. Especially on the subject of crisps/chips. Respect to Crystal for single-handedly holding up the British side of the banter.

Anyhoo mod close thread please.

It’s not mine to close but I thought I’d try my luck. If you want a winner, I’d award it to everyone who looked at this thread and decided not to take part.

Now why would we go and do a thing like that when this is the closest nations have come to agreeing with one another since before NATO and the UN?

The only definitives we’ve witnessed is that Florida has a Canadian sister, nobody likes Denmark, and the French are quitters.

 

[Marlfox]

Denmark is a lovely country its vikings taught us Brits how to invade. We were barely British at all without those skills.

 

[Scott]

Damn Danish, they ruined England.

 

[Mark]

Denmark is a lovely country its vikings taught us Brits how to invade. We were barely British at all without those skills.

Well, y’all, now we got another reason to shit on Denmark. They taught the Brits bad things.

 

[Scott]

Well, y’all, now we got another reason to shit on Denmark. They taught the Brits bad things.

Then we taught it to you guys, and then you Manifested Destiny all over the rest of the country

 

[Mark]

Then we taught it to you guys, and then you Manifested Destiny all over the rest of the country

…it’s better than the Brits taking over the whole of North America. Canada and Mexico would have ceased to exist and Mexico would be called like New Spain or some shit.

 

[Marlfox]

A few failures made us better people so now we fail regularly to keep things on the right moral track

 

[Mark]

A few failures made us better people so now we fail regularly to keep things on the right moral track

NOW y’all wanna be humble after all that pomp and circumstance and dress-up.

 

[Marlfox]

I’d count the pomp and dressup amongst the failures

 

[Mark]

I’d count the pomp and dressup amongst the failures

Coulda been worse… you’ve seen the French.

 

[Scott]

…it’s better than the Brits taking over the whole of North America. Canada and Mexico would have ceased to exist and Mexico would be called like New Spain or some shit.

We're definitely bad at naming shit. New York? New South Wales? I can only assume it's our fault it's called New Mexico.

I’d count the pomp and dressup amongst the failures

We should've never got rid of top hats as normal wear. Been all downhill since then.

 

[Mark]

We're definitely bad at naming shit. New York? New South Wales? I can only assume it's our fault it's called New Mexico.

There’s no telling what goes on in the SW. The heat scrambles their brains. Right, @Crystal ?

We should've never got rid of top hats as normal wear. Been all downhill since then.

Because that’s what the world’s missing right now… a buncha Mr. Monopoly looking dudes with monocles and twirly mustaches.

 

[Scott]

Because that’s what the world’s missing right now… a buncha Mr. Monopoly looking dudes with monocles and twirly mustaches.

I'm sure they wouldn't ruin everything by chasing money at the expense of the Normal Guy... oh wait. Down with tophats!

 

[Crystal]

There’s no telling what goes on in the SW. The heat scrambles their brains. Right, @Crystal ?

Underoos are fun to wear. You're welcome

 

[Jay™]

And Sheep. Right @Jay?

 

[Danny]

Fuck yeah free healthcare