Fellas, is it gay to *shuffles deck*

[Ants!]

If I'm ever to have any hope of leaving Facebook long-term, I figured I would need a substitute for one of my favorite groups on there so I plagiarized the name. I would have gone with "good tips on how not to be gay", but I didn't want to risk being offensive.

I know that there is already a meme thread, but this one is specifically about the ridiculousness of toxic views on masculinity and making fun of homophobic morons.

I'll give some examples.

 

[Mark]

My other half envies the fuck out of my luscious eyelashes. I ain’t trimming them, though. I’ll save that energy for the ear hairs and nose hairs.

Saying a task or a hobby is gay is stupid. Saying something like that is stupid is smart.

I’ve washed and folded laundry the same day I’ve framed a room and hung drywall. I like the jokes about guys knowing how to do laundry or wash dishes being gay. They’re usually coming from the dudes that wear the same crusty drawers for days on end.

 

[Kat]

Imagine being so insecure you trim your fucking eyelashes. They keep stuff out of your eyes!!

I swear there was already a thread by this name...

 

[Ants!]

I've seen the dumbest shit. Eating breakfast makes you gay. Drinking bottled water makes you gay. Ordering dessert at a restaurant makes you gay. Being attracted to a woman with sculpted abs makes you gay.

 

[Ants!]

Imagine being so insecure you trim your fucking eyelashes. They keep stuff out of your eyes!!

I swear there was already a thread by this name...

Well maybe they can merge and be gay together.

 

[Mark]

Imagine being so insecure you trim your fucking eyelashes. They keep stuff out of your eyes!!

I swear there was already a thread by this name...

Yeah, like my goddamn contacts. I had a hell of a time learning how to maneuver around them. Or… it could be the stoney eyes…

I've seen the dumbest shit. Eating breakfast makes you gay. Drinking bottled water makes you gay. Ordering dessert at a restaurant makes you gay. Being attracted to a woman with sculpted abs makes you gay.

A dude I used to work with called me gay because I smell good. Dude… you’re the one sniffing me. The best part? He joked about Biden sniffing people are did not see the irony.

 

[Benzine]

in my trip to america last week i got told i have the most beautiful eye lashes. top 2 feature of mine for sure.

 

[Benzine]

there aren't people like this in my circle or beyond really. i wish i could encounter someone like this over a prolonged period of time to eventually ask them why they spend so much time thinking about how gay they are

 

[Ants!]

there aren't people like this in my circle or beyond really. i wish i could encounter someone like this over a prolonged period of time to eventually ask them why they spend so much time thinking about how gay they are

That's pretty much what it is. If they are that insecure about it and obsessing over it that much then they are projecting and telling on themselves.

 

[Quagmire]

 

[Kat]

That's pretty much what it is. If they are that insecure about it and obsessing over it that much then they are projecting and telling on themselves.

If you mean they're actually gay themselves, sometimes, but I feel like a lot of times it's more "you're failing at doing strong, manly things" -> "you must be a woman/not a man" -> "you're gay (not masculine)". Because the most feminine thing you can do is fuck men or something. Or the most masculine thing you can do is fuck women, so sleeping with men is the opposite? Especially with traditional gender roles blurring as much as they have recently, it's tough for men to live up to "traditional" expectations, and they aren't given all the advantages they used to be. Probably the guys saying this nonsense are just struggling to feel as powerful as they're told they should be and it's got nothing to do with sexual orientation at all. It's certainly not the case that all homophobes are secretly gay (as funny as that is to suggest to them).

IMO a lot of trans phobia is also rooted in the same thing: being upset over people bucking traditional gender roles. If women can be men and men can be women and some people can be neither then everything given to men and expected of women falls apart.

 

[Ants!]

Dumb thing is: if a cis male breaks one of these masculine rules they'll call him a girl or a woman. But then if that person actually came out as trans and identifies as a woman, they'll suddenly insist on calling her a man.

 

[Quagmire]

Dumb thing is: if a cis male breaks one of these masculine rules they'll call him a girl or a woman. But then if that person actually came out as trans and identifies as a woman, they'll suddenly insist on calling her a man.

If republicans didnt have double standards, then they would have no standards at all

 

[Kat]

Dumb thing is: if a cis male breaks one of these masculine rules they'll call him a girl or a woman. But then if that person actually came out as trans and identifies as a woman, they'll suddenly insist on calling her a man.

It's internally consistent when you realize they're both meant to shame the person into acting "like a man". Not that that makes it any less dumb, I agree. The whole thing is ridiculous.

 

[Mark]

there aren't people like this in my circle or beyond really. i wish i could encounter someone like this over a prolonged period of time to eventually ask them why they spend so much time thinking about how gay they are

Honestly, I thought the amount of people I’d encounter like that would drop off after the teenage years, but, I can’t help but laugh when I find one in their 30’s or 40’s.

That's pretty much what it is. If they are that insecure about it and obsessing over it that much then they are projecting and telling on themselves.

With the exception of the insecure dudes that are just trying to emasculate someone else to make themselves seem tougher, I agree. There are some dipshits out there that aren’t actually gay that talk that kind of bullshit just to feel better about themselves.

If you mean they're actually gay themselves, sometimes, but I feel like a lot of times it's more "you're failing at doing strong, manly things" -> "you must be a woman/not a man" -> "you're gay (not masculine)". Because the most feminine thing you can do is fuck men or something. Or the most masculine thing you can do is fuck women, so sleeping with men is the opposite? Especially with traditional gender roles blurring as much as they have recently, it's tough for men to live up to "traditional" expectations, and they aren't given all the advantages they used to be. Probably the guys saying this nonsense are just struggling to feel as powerful as they're told they should be and it's got nothing to do with sexual orientation at all. It's certainly not the case that all homophobes are secretly gay (as funny as that is to suggest to them).

IMO a lot of trans phobia is also rooted in the same thing: being upset over people bucking traditional gender roles. If women can be men and men can be women and some people can be neither then everything given to men and expected of women falls apart.

You’re applying logic and reason to people that don’t use logic or reason again.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

As a straight white male, I look forward to getting to eat in tables outside at restaurants with my naturally long eyelashes that would make women jealous. I might even cross my legs, too.

 

[Ants!]

New restriction just dropped

 

[Ants!]

 

[Mark]

New restriction just dropped

Fuck it. I’m just gonna start acting like a windmill if I need to wave someone down.

View attachment 28578

I don’t like wearing anything on my wrists or hands, but damnit have I heard all the jokes about having both of my ears pierced twice… and then, when I open my mouth to talk shit, they might notice the tongue ring and enter into a whole new dimension of homophobic trash talking.

 

[Ants!]

Our admin, everybody!

 

[Mark]

Our admin, everybody!

 

[MC74]

I’ve washed and folded laundry the same day I’ve framed a room and hung drywall. I like the jokes about guys knowing how to do laundry or wash dishes being gay. They’re usually coming from the dudes that wear the same crusty drawers for days on end.

The men who make such ridiculous claims are lazy bums, plain & simple.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

 

[Ants!]

Dude. I always knew you liked mozzarella sticks if you know what I mean.

 

[A Baby Maker]

My other half envies the fuck out of my luscious eyelashes. I ain’t trimming them, though. I’ll save that energy for the ear hairs and nose hairs

Dude same. Before my hair thinned out all my female friends got pissed at me because my hair was perfectly straight and soft and longer than my shoulders and I did nothing to it.

My barber trims my eyebrows for me, and that place is a super masculine stereotype place.

The Internet is dumb.

 

[Quagmire]

Dude. I always knew you liked mozzarella sticks if you know what I mean.

 

[Mark]

Dude. I always knew you liked mozzarella sticks if you know what I mean.

Heh. Stick cheese.

Dude same. Before my hair thinned out all my female friends got pissed at me because my hair was perfectly straight and soft and longer than my shoulders and I did nothing to it.

My barber trims my eyebrows for me, and that place is a super masculine stereotype place.

The Internet is dumb.

Man, I haven’t had long hair since I was a teenager, but mine was thick and wavy, so I looked like Shaggy since I’m tall and lean. I wouldn’t dare growing my hair out now that I had a good view of the bald spot on the top of my dome. I’d look weirder than I already do.

View attachment 28582

Goddamnit. I was gonna reply with this.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Man, I haven’t had long hair since I was a teenager, but mine was thick and wavy, so I looked like Shaggy since I’m tall and lean. I wouldn’t dare growing my hair out now that I had a good view of the bald spot on the top of my dome. I’d look weirder than I already do

I started using Hims a while back for my hair. I now look a lot better with a bit of length than I did before, but I'd never go with long again.

I also wouldn't go buzz cut again, which I did for a while.

 

[Mark]

I started using Hims a while back for my hair. I now look a lot better with a bit of length than I did before, but I'd never go with long again.

I also wouldn't go buzz cut again, which I did for a while.

See, but, if I did that and had hair, then I’d have to put forth effort to maintain it and all… it’s much more efficient for me to take 10 minutes or so a week to shave it off. I call it “strategy”.

Follow me for more life hacks.

(So what if everyone can see every lump on my head? It explains why I’m the way I am without me having to. See: Efficiency)

 

[A Baby Maker]

See, but, if I did that and had hair, then I’d have to put forth effort to maintain it and all… it’s much more efficient for me to take 10 minutes or so a week to shave it off. I call it “strategy”.

Follow me for more life hacks.

(So what if everyone can see every lump on my head? It explains why I’m the way I am without me having to. See: Efficiency)

I think I spend less time than that actually maintaining my hair these days. Maybe like a minute a day at most. Haircut once every two or three months at this point might bring up the average though.

 

[Ants!]

Whole lot of sissy talk going on up in here.

 

[Ants!]

A classic:

 

[Mark]

Whole lot of sissy talk going on up in here.

Getting hot and bothered?

 

[Crystal]

Whole lot of sissy talk going on up in here.

Why wasn't I invited?

 

[Mark]

Why wasn't I invited?

Duh. Thread said “fellas”.

Boy’s club.

 

[Crystal]

Duh. Thread said “fellas”.

Boy’s club.

Trump says I am one...

 

[A Baby Maker]

A classic:

View attachment 28586

Stayed at a B&B in Vermont run by a gay couple. They made delicious AF breakfast, had an awesome dog, and their adopted child wanted to help people hike the green mountains.

 

[Mark]

Trump says I am one...

We’d leave if everything he said was presented as fact here.

 

[A Baby Maker]

Trump says I am one...

Trump dumb. You be you and have a blast.

 

[Ants!]

Only reason I felt okay making this topic is because these forums are genuinely a safe space and I know we have no assholes here

 

[Crystal]

We’d leave if everything he said was presented as fact here.

Fair.

Trump dumb. You be you and have a blast.

Only reason I felt okay making this topic is because these forums are genuinely a safe space and I know we have no assholes here

Oh I know, but you know I've gotta' have fun with it, too

 

[Mark]

Only reason I felt okay making this topic is because these forums are genuinely a safe space and I know we have no assholes here

I love these kind of “what the fuck are people thinking?” threads that dive into stereotypes and stuff like that. They inevitably land on some good stuff about how stupid and irrational people can be.

 

[Ants!]

If you're banging milfs then that means you're putting your dick where another dudes dick has already been, which means you're getting second-hand dick. Know what that makes you?

 

[Mark]

View attachment 28587

If you're banging milfs then that means you're putting your dick where another dudes dick has already been, which means you're getting second-hand dick. Know what that makes you?

Fuck. I’ve had sex with more milfs than childless women.

 

[Ants!]

Fuck. I’ve had sex with more milfs than childless women.

Good thing I'm packing my gay spray.

 

[Mark]

Good thing I'm packing my gay spray.

I’m just wondering how I’m gonna tell the old lady.

 

[Ben]

Some of us are out here creating MILFs. That's a service to society. Don't think I can say the mothers outnumber the not-mothers, though.

Real talk, is it gay to fuck a dude's wife while he watches?

 

[Quagmire]

Goddamnit. I was gonna reply with this.

 

[Ants!]

Real talk, is it gay to fuck a dude's wife while he watches?

The mission is to make it impossible to not be gay. There are ways to fight this though.

 

[Ants!]