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how do
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Cole’s 1 Step Dating Guide
- Thread starter Fool's Requiem
- Start date
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do it
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Instructions unclear, got privates stung by jellyfish.
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Hey man, I was doing y'all a service by not being needlessly inappropriate in this thread.
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you'll never make it in the military like this, sargeant! now get your troops in line, this Ocean War ain't gonna win itself!!
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You could join the navy.
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I've been in the Coast Guard for almost 21 years. Navy was never an option.
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You know what's dumb, I totally got FQ's joke, but yours went over my head.
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Dating SUCKS in modern times. I avoided it for that reason after my ex and I split… you really gotta be selective about who you let in your life these days. It has probably always been like that, but it was definitely a lot worse in my early 30’s than it was in my 20’s. People are more disposable now… don’t like your girl? Hit Tinder. Don’t like that your boyfriend works too much? Hit Tinder. DoorDick. Ruining relationships for years.
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I met my wife on Tinder. A lot of people would consider that a failed Tinder experience.
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Dude, it is rough. I’m glad I already knew the chick I’m with now. Fuck getting to know someone new and starting over.
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Tinder requires my GPS to be on and GPS is a huge battery drain. Also, the vast majority of people on that are just people trying to get more Instagram followers or feel the need to broadcast their political preferences. Like, I don't like Trump either, but I don't think that political preference should be something you broadcast to the world when attempting to date. I'm sure there are many people who vote for different political parties that get a long just fine and got married.
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I met my fiance in 2003. In 2005 he told me he loved me but teenage me didn't know shit. We finally started dating in 2018. Having that foundation of friendship is the best.
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A buddy of mine had a hell of a time dating on apps and being 5'9. He recently got married to a woman he met on Bumble.
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Lol I'm 5'7 and didn't have many issues. It's a different experience for everyone though.
im going to be real again here.
you and I were never friends, when everyone was younger I found you a bit annoying and I'm sure you had thoughts about me.
we're all adults now, I don't have any ill feelings toward you, everyone annoyed me back then.
it's *this* kind of excuse that's preventing you from finding someone. and again, not trying to be a dick, just life advice. get a car charger, get a portable charger, your battery will be fine. don't make excuses why you "can't" use a dating app.
if you don't wanna date, that's your business, if you're not ready, or not interested or whatever else, that's FINE.
but if you want to be, if you'd like to meet someone some day, you need to not make excuses like thst. you can't until you try.
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I feel like it wouldn't be GW if I got along with you.
Sure, I could keep my phone charging just to keep the GPS on for a shitty "dating" app that forces me to pay in order to be found by other users, does not let you know who swiped right on you, doesn't let you message anyone unless you've matched up (which is impossible thanks to the previous reasons), and is filled with people just whoring out their Instragram accounts, or I could not and find better ways to find dates... assuming I had the motivation.
I may make jokes and comments about my being perpetually single, but if I reaaaaally cared, I'd actually do something about it, and it wouldn't be using fucking Tinder.
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The problem is the app is specifically programmed to make it nearly impossible to match up after the first few days, unless you shell out money. You CAN'T match up because you don't know who swiped right on you.
It's a shit app. I tried it out of curiosity and there's almost nothing good about the app. Unless you get lucky like Alu and/or you swipe right on EVERYONE and have absolutely no standards, or you're absolutely gorgeous and have no standards, the app is useless. Dating websites are much more flexible. I at least got to talk to people on OKCupid...
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hence bad design
no... its not bad design though.
the whole point of the app is basically to anonymize the rejection process. you're not going to a bar and asking 20 women if you can sleep with them, you're swiping on the ones you're interested in, and if they swipe on you, that means they are interested in you.
that's the whole point, man.
the whole point of the app is basically to anonymize the rejection process. you're not going to a bar and asking 20 women if you can sleep with them, you're swiping on the ones you're interested in, and if they swipe on you, that means they are interested in you.
that's the whole point, man.
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Y’all two are arguing two separate points that aren’t mutually exclusive. I’ve heard a mixed bag of reviews with online dating, and even attempted dating a girl I met off of one at the suggestion of a friend who was doing something very similar to what you’re trying to get Fool to do, Cole, come out of his shell a little. I had been away from my ex for some time, dated around with girls I met in the real world (me finding women was never like me finding friends), and it was just one headache after another. So, my friend took my phone, signed me up and she filled my profile out with some shit, sent me the details, and went from there. I met a girl who I shared common interests with based on what was in my profile, and what we talked about prior to meeting… about two weeks worth of conversation between the app and then the phone. We dated for about 6 months before she went absolutely fucking bonkers and busted out my windshield. That’s my personal experience… just because you go the opposite of meeting a chick at a bar and get to know her first, it doesn’t mean it’ll end differently.
As far as my friends… I have friends that met and married and are still with their significant others, I have friends that went there for a quick fuck and got just that or a surprise long term relationship, and I’ve had friends that were seemingly paywalled into subscribing only to find out their nearest or best matches are all miles away or old profiles no longer responding. It’s really luck of the draw, and I’d assume that it’s just like “real life” dating where you’re not gonna hit a home run every single time. There are gonna be strikeouts at the plate. You are gonna get thrown out at third from time to time.
What Cole is getting at, though, Fool, is you’re not going to have any luck if you don’t take any chances. We’re only getting older, dude, and you deserve happiness and to spend your days with someone that makes you happy. You gotta put in the effort and fail along the way, because that failure is also important… it’ll make you appreciate something good when it happens. Trust and believe, I have a LONG track record of shitty relationships. I know all about what makes them not work. It’s a lot harder to figure out what makes them work, but that becomes a lot easier when you put yourself out there and treat it like something you want to get good at and not something you’re dreading. Yeah, I stand by how much it sucks getting to know someone new. But… that’s because I’m lazy. I’ve already invested through that stage so many times before that it got tiring, just the concept of getting to know someone only to find out they’re not what you thought. I get it. But… you can’t give up, because each time you do fail you learn something else about yourself.
Disclaimer: I saw that new reply thing pop up a few times while I was typing this… it took me a minute in between doing other stuff.
As far as my friends… I have friends that met and married and are still with their significant others, I have friends that went there for a quick fuck and got just that or a surprise long term relationship, and I’ve had friends that were seemingly paywalled into subscribing only to find out their nearest or best matches are all miles away or old profiles no longer responding. It’s really luck of the draw, and I’d assume that it’s just like “real life” dating where you’re not gonna hit a home run every single time. There are gonna be strikeouts at the plate. You are gonna get thrown out at third from time to time.
What Cole is getting at, though, Fool, is you’re not going to have any luck if you don’t take any chances. We’re only getting older, dude, and you deserve happiness and to spend your days with someone that makes you happy. You gotta put in the effort and fail along the way, because that failure is also important… it’ll make you appreciate something good when it happens. Trust and believe, I have a LONG track record of shitty relationships. I know all about what makes them not work. It’s a lot harder to figure out what makes them work, but that becomes a lot easier when you put yourself out there and treat it like something you want to get good at and not something you’re dreading. Yeah, I stand by how much it sucks getting to know someone new. But… that’s because I’m lazy. I’ve already invested through that stage so many times before that it got tiring, just the concept of getting to know someone only to find out they’re not what you thought. I get it. But… you can’t give up, because each time you do fail you learn something else about yourself.
Disclaimer: I saw that new reply thing pop up a few times while I was typing this… it took me a minute in between doing other stuff.
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I am very much aware of this. I've never not been aware of why I'm single. I have no delusions.
I'm just pointing out that Tinder is blatantly designed around making sure you spend money on their garbo service. If you don't, you don't appear on people profiles to even get swiped on, making it nigh-on impossible to match up unless you swipe right on everyone hoping that someone swipes right on you as well.
Not having a website that allows you to update your information is not helpful either, because if you start typing too much stuff, the app starts to bog down for some reason (at least when I used it sometime before COVID). It's mobile app only. Then again, there's almost no reason to type anything down anyways because people only look at the pictures. No one cares about the other stuff. I know a guy who treats Tinder like "hot or not" game.
I understand where you're coming from, but the whole service is designed around making sure you don't match up unless you shell out money. Literally the only times I matched up with anyone was within the first week or so and when I paid them to boost my visibility (I think I only paid for a month before cancelling their service or I paid for that limited time boost thing, I can't recall exactly).
Edit: We hijacked Jamie's thread for this dumb convo.
a quick bit of research says you're mistaken. paying premium does not guarantee additional matches. I'm not trying to be a dick, but it's possible, even likely, you simply weren't being swiped on.
tinder gold gives you more swipes per day, so you may have seen a few more matches just on sheer volume but it doesn't give you more.
tinder gold gives you more swipes per day, so you may have seen a few more matches just on sheer volume but it doesn't give you more.
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Area and search range also are major contributors to results as well. Try your range at different areas, move your “location” to a nearby larger city or something. My one friend had zero luck on base… surprise surprise. When he relocated to the nearby town after his assignment, his same profile received much more attention.
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Bruh - Facebook. Dating apps are for 20-something’s, or guys with good opening lines.
I just sit back and wait for the girls who have crossed the 30 line to think “well, I’ve done a lot worse” and shoot *me* a line. Biological clocks are awesome.
It’s been a shockingly successful 2023 so far, and I haven’t even done so much as a sit up. Can’t recommend it enough
I just sit back and wait for the girls who have crossed the 30 line to think “well, I’ve done a lot worse” and shoot *me* a line. Biological clocks are awesome.
It’s been a shockingly successful 2023 so far, and I haven’t even done so much as a sit up. Can’t recommend it enough
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Premium boosts your visibility, increasing your chances of getting swiped. You don't pay for premium, you don't pop up on anyone's feeds.
You don't pop up on other's feeds, you don't get swiped on. You don't get swiped on, you can't match up.
It's not hard to understand.
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Aren’t there also platforms that allow premium members to refuse or automatically reject non-premium members as well? That’s one I heard before, but wasn’t sure if it was true because it was just one person that mentioned it years ago when they were still single.
it only boosts your visibility insofar as you get more swipes per day, and you can boost for 30 minutes once a month which only put a you at the top of the list of potential matches.
tinder gold does not increase the amount of matches you get, just the potential.
a better and more eye catching profile will get you more matches than premium would.
tinder gold does not increase the amount of matches you get, just the potential.
a better and more eye catching profile will get you more matches than premium would.
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That seems kinda scummy. "You didn't spend money on a dating site, you're not worth my time."
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That’s why I was reluctant to believe it, but after doing a little digging I learned that at the very least, PlentyofFish has a setting that allows premium members the option to reach out to a non-premium member but not vice-versa. So… it’s partially true. If someone decides to pay the fee, they can choose to enable that feature blocking out first contacts from all non-paying members. It was seemingly marketed as a way to filter for people “seriously” searching.
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Well, for services like PoF, Zoosk, etc. (aka the NON-Tinder/Bumble/Hinge services), the amount of fake accounts, catfishing, scamming, spamming, bots, and whatever else is insane. So...I assume it's for people who are struggling on the other apps, but committed to the effort, and would like to cut down on all of that junk.
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Well, for services like PoF, Zoosk, etc. (aka the NON-Tinder/Bumble/Hinge services), the amount of fake accounts, catfishing, scamming, spamming, bots, and whatever else is insane. So...I assume it's for people who are struggling on the other apps, but committed to the effort, and would like to cut down on all of that junk.
Yeah… fake accounts is a reoccurring thing I’ve heard from men and women, but mostly men. Cam girls, escorts, scammers, wildebeests, etc.
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wut
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Exactly. Having been broke my whole life, I couldn't afford to feed the Beast that is 'dating apps' - and the pervasiveness of those such accounts, as well as the predatory nature of the apps' algorithms is why I just abandoned them altogether.
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That’s a more logical reason than I ever had. For me it was always the fact that I never wanted to set myself up for replacing another rear glass in another vehicle without a warning first. You don’t get psychochick warnings on those apps the way you do spotting that little glimmer of crazy in their eyes.