Being an impostor

[Gloom-is-good]

This month is Marathon month at my gym and I signed up to do the half. Fortunately I have the entire month to complete the 13.1 miles because there was no way I was going to do all that at once. I was telling my manager and she was like "you're doing what??"

So of course I had to tell her "oh no, not at once. I ain't that fit"
It made me think about what things may be "out of character" for who I am.

So let's play a game! Tell me what you would say or do that would give away your imposter "tell."

Mine so far are:
No thanks. I've pet enough cats today.
Nah, I don't want (insert dessert here)
Yeah let's go hiking in this 100+ heat! We can wake up early for it!

 

[Mark]

“Nah, I don’t wanna smoke a bowl.”
“Let’s go out to the club.”
“I think I’ll wear this red shirt.”
“Let’s take a selfie.”
“You know what, I think I wanna try sushi.”

Those are probably the five easiest tells for me.

Edit - I ran this list by the old lady for an accuracy check, it passes.

 

[Ben]

"I am excited to attend the social event involving many people with whom I am not acquainted."

"I will take herbal tea, please."

"There's a chance I'll grievously hurt myself by skateboarding down this half-pipe, but I'm going to give it a try anyway!"

"I can't buy that, I need to budget and build up savings."

"Is that the smell of marijuana on the night's breeze? How repugnant."

 

[Benzine]

“Nah, I don’t wanna smoke a bowl.”
“Let’s go out to the club.”
“I think I’ll wear this red shirt.”
“Let’s take a selfie.”
“You know what, I think I wanna try sushi.”

Those are probably the five easiest tells for me.

Edit - I ran this list by the old lady for an accuracy check, it passes.

you've got me 4/5 as perfect answers but sushi is the shit, what's wrong with you

 

[Mark]

you've got me 4/5 as perfect answers but sushi is the shit, what's wrong with you

I have one of those broken brains that causes stuff like the texture of cold rice or raw meat to just make a food lose all appeal to me. Tapioca pudding? Never. Onions on a burger? Absolutely not.

 

[Benzine]

you got me at the word texture. i am very texture based too, but sushi doesn't hurt me there.

now that we're on the same page, let's have some cones to celebrate

 

[Mark]

you got me at the word texture. i am very texture based too, but sushi doesn't hurt me there.

now that we're on the same page, let's have some cones to celebrate

Have you had any infused prerolls with that “crumble” extract stuff? It reminds me of the old days of cutting up strips of hash to put in a joint. Absolutely magical experience, you won’t believe how stoned you can get from one of them… definitely caught me by surprise the first time.

 

[Benzine]

Have you had any infused prerolls with that “crumble” extract stuff? It reminds me of the old days of cutting up strips of hash to put in a joint. Absolutely magical experience, you won’t believe how stoned you can get from one of them… definitely caught me by surprise the first time.

nah, we don't have stuff like that readily available here. and, it's been a while since i've actually seen hash too.

my trips to the usa i didn't really see any extravagant pre rolls either. i must be picking the wrong shops.

 

[Mark]

nah, we don't have stuff like that readily available here. and, it's been a while since i've actually seen hash too.

my trips to the usa i didn't really see any extravagant pre rolls either. i must be picking the wrong shops.

I figured that would have been something that caught your eye the last time you were in Colorado, from what I hear they’re even more popular over west. You might have to ask for them by type, too. I would assume they’d try to upsell, but I’d also assume they’d want you to buy more overall, since an infused preroll is like the equivalent of smoking two or three regular prerolls.

 

[Gloom-is-good]

"I am excited to attend the social event involving many people with whom I am not acquainted."

"I will take herbal tea, please."

Isn't the first everyone though? Who enjoys that?

What kind of tea do you like if not herbal?

Onions on a burger? Absolutely not.

What about caramelized onions? Or an onion ring?

 

[Ben]

Isn't the first everyone though? Who enjoys that?

Granted, here, yeah not that uncommon. But one of my ex's was extremely extraverted, and her actively wanting to continue conversations with complete strangers was the bane of my existence.

Unfortunately our son is in some weird mid-zone where he's a complete nerd but has no shame. Hence him doing crap like yelling "Goodbye, Hector! I'll never forget you!" at the grocery bagger as we were leaving the store. Been probably 5 years since he did that but I'm still dying from the embarrassment.

What kind of tea do you like if not herbal?

Black. Blackity black. Though I'm a bit picky about type, so only ever drink PG Tips. 2 sugars and a splash of milk.

</english>

 

[VashTheStampede]

"Batman? Is that DC or Marvel?"

"Turn-based RPG? Sounds boring, why not a fast paced action game?"

"Sex scenes in movies are unnecessary."

"Go Dodgers!"

 

[Mark]

What about caramelized onions? Or an onion ring?

Nope, just not a fan of them in general. Funyuns are cool, though.

 

[Smacktard]

"Me like video games? That's unpossible!"
"Sure! I'd love to go dancing!"
"Please take a picture of me in front of this touristy thing."
"Nah, not tonight. I'm not in the mood."

 

[MC74]

What about caramelized onions? Or an onion ring?

Caramelized onions ftw. Crispy onions on subs and burgers works too!

 

[MC74]

Will say though that I'm not fond of raw onions on burgers. The abrassiveness of a raw onion doesn't mesh well with the burger, whereas cooked onions work well in adding that extra bit of flavor.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

"I look forward to talking to people on the phone."

"I love listening to country radio stations."

Will say though that I'm not fond of raw onions on burgers. The abrassiveness of a raw onion doesn't mesh well with the burger, whereas cooked onions work well in adding that extra bit of flavor.

I personally prefer the extra crunch that raw onions provide. Same for lettuce.

"Please take a picture of me in front of this touristy thing."

Same. If I want to have my picture taken, assume I hit my head or something.

 

[MC74]

Same. If I want to have my picture taken, assume I hit my head or something.

Count me in that category too. I can't stand having my picture taken.

 

[Gloom-is-good]

Unfortunately our son is in some weird mid-zone where he's a complete nerd but has no shame. Hence him doing crap like yelling "Goodbye, Hector! I'll never forget you!" at the grocery bagger as we were leaving the store. Been probably 5 years since he did that but I'm still dying from the embarrassment.

That is so wholesome!

"I love listening to country radio stations."

I personally prefer the extra crunch that raw onions provide. Same for lettuce.

If you ever see me at a country concert (or whatever they are called), please know that I am there against my will! I will say I did give it a shot once. I was at a food festival and the headliners were a local country band. I reeeaallly really tried to stick it out but I had to throw in the towel a couple hours in.

Also if I ever eat a raw onion.. honestly that might be a Saw level torture tactic on me...