:-)

[Olga]

I registered on GW in March 2001, originally as stargirl_y. I was living in a house in the outskirts of Moscow at the time. I went to a very small school nearby, and I was the Weird Kid known for reading books and being obscenely good at Snake II (I was the official world champion for a few days!).
As it was with many people here, my one place of friendship was GW. I haven't gotten much better at socializing since then, but I guess I've had a reasonably eventful life. Since then, I've lived in 2 other countries (Austria, the UK, and now Austria again). I moved to London in 2008, lost a decade to battling immigration (I won, eventually), then moved just before Brexit was finalized to be closer to my family. After starting off as a designer, for about 12 years now I've worked in film and video. I've been a videographer, video and multimedia producer, director and editor, working at a bank, financial publishing house, science education charity, media production house. Had a brief spell as a cultural correspondent. I've not done anything fancy... yet (although I've made a few short things that have been screened internationally, and gotten some views on YouTube during certain jobs).

I'm actually Russian-Ukrainian. When the war started, I'd been in Vienna for a little over a year. I was lonely but very inspired, working as an editor by day, and by night writing a proposed TV adaptation of short fantasy stories by a Ukrainian writer I loved as a kid (he gave me exclusive representation rights and all!). Despite being far away, the war has affected my life dramatically (I have family in Russia and Ukraine), and as it continues, I am less and less capable of keeping myself together. I wasn't great to begin with (long history of trauma, and I'm also an autistic artist, which is an, uh, intense combo), and these days a borderline hermit. I struggle to talk to anyone at all, and even messages of support weigh on me (please don’t send me any ). I went on burnout leave from work back in January. It is limited, and because I can't work normal jobs anymore, my hope is to develop and produce a project I'm currently working on.

Having said all that, the reason I'm a hermit is because I have a very particular overlap of interests, and while I could be deluding myself, I think that the work I'm doing is genuinely interesting. Doing interesting original work is never easy, and I may well destroy myself. But I'll have seen something beautiful, which is more than what I had before. I frequently have periods of elation. I have no choice but to do what I am meant to do, which is a blessing because I don’t have to deliberate.

It's nice to see you all here. You all meant, and still mean a lot to me. I hope to push through, and wish you all the very best of luck.

And because I might as well keep a list, here's whom I've met from here so far:
Alu
Bandicoot
Daft Frik
Fire Queen
Julz
Leandros
Sabator
Salmon_Hunter
Smacktard
tgies
Tom
Tommy Boy

I've met many internet weirdos over my lifetime. I still enjoy it a lot. I have a spare room in Vienna – just sayin'.

 

[Crystal]

Its great to have you with us, and thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you're finding a route that works for you, and I love the sound of that adaptation you're working on, sounds like a lot of fun! Also exciting that you got the exclusive rights to it!

As for the war, fingers crossed it ends soon, there's too much war and bloodshed in the world today. I can't imagine how it is for anyone of Russian or Ukrainian decent, let alone both!

As I said, it's great to have you with us and welcome home

 

[Fire Queen]

i couldn’t be more thankful that out of the two people from GW i had the chance to meet irl, you were one of them, however brief that encounter may have been. it’s a memory i’ll cherish forever! (that and immediately afterward when sab and i were waiting for the bus and a glaswegian struck up a conversation with us and i got to hear sab go full scots accent. it was like hearing a different language)

i still think of Matter Patterns often (first kickstarter i ever pledged to and for years it was the only one). as a fellow autistic artist i love the passion you put into your work even if we work with very different mediums. glad you're around here!

 

[Advocate for Ants! Mouth]

Remember that time we saw Toy Story 3 together in London (with your other friend that I don't remember the name of)?

 

[Olga]

Its great to have you with us, and thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you're finding a route that works for you, and I love the sound of that adaptation you're working on, sounds like a lot of fun! Also exciting that you got the exclusive rights to it!

As for the war, fingers crossed it ends soon, there's too much war and bloodshed in the world today. I can't imagine how it is for anyone of Russian or Ukrainian decent, let alone both!

As I said, it's great to have you with us and welcome home

Thanks, Crystal. And thanks for setting up this place. It's funny how what we get up to as kids can have such incredible consequences.
Unfortunately the adaptation I was hoping to launch will probably never happen, for a whole bunch of reasons. But the thing I'm working on now has a fighting chance!
I don't know what to expect with the war. We didn't think it would happen at all, then thought it would be over within less than a week, then that it would surely only be a couple of months. Once it ends, what will follow is a difficult period: so much has been destroyed that Ukraine may never recover, and to some extent that is true of Russia. The first priority is, of course, stopping sudden deaths, but god only knows what the future looks like.

i couldn’t be more thankful that out of the two people from GW i had the chance to meet irl, you were one of them, however brief that encounter may have been. it’s a memory i’ll cherish forever! (that and immediately afterward when sab and i were waiting for the bus and a glaswegian struck up a conversation with us and i got to hear sab go full scots accent. it was like hearing a different language)

i still think of Matter Patterns often (first kickstarter i ever pledged to and for years it was the only one). as a fellow autistic artist i love the passion you put into your work even if we work with very different mediums. glad you're around here!

Oh gosh – likewise! I have extremely strong feelings of positivity for you. Growing up, I didn't have role models in terms of decent social behaviour (I was pretty isolated), so the friends that I've been lucky enough to make in my life have been the next best thing. In my mind, you radiate warmth and kindness, and periodically you appear as a reminder that such people exist. Thank goodness for that, and I'm so glad that the people in your life get to interact with you.

Remember that time we saw Toy Story 3 together in London (with your other friend that I don't remember the name of)?

oh my god I don't remember either!!! D: I have *such* a poor memory... but I do remember the meeting. Grateful that it happened, and that your work took you places. This probably doesn't need to be said – I suspect that I've made this clear over time – but I'm always stoked to learn of your updates (and glad that you share. I suspect other people have stuff to do, but I'm always very happy when you share details of your life).

 

[Olga]

i couldn’t be more thankful that out of the two people from GW i had the chance to meet irl, you were one of them, however brief that encounter may have been. it’s a memory i’ll cherish forever! (that and immediately afterward when sab and i were waiting for the bus and a glaswegian struck up a conversation with us and i got to hear sab go full scots accent. it was like hearing a different language)

i still think of Matter Patterns often (first kickstarter i ever pledged to and for years it was the only one). as a fellow autistic artist i love the passion you put into your work even if we work with very different mediums. glad you're around here!

Also you know Tommy and tgies and I met up in NY recently?! We had such a blast!!!

 

[Fire Queen]

Also you know Tommy and tgies and I met up in NY recently?! We had such a blast!!!

no way! tgies and i still talk occasionally on twitter, i need to pop into the IRC chat more often (#animutation will never die i don't think even if #pimi and #gw did). he's a one-of-a-kind dude. i seem to remember one time years and years and years ago in IRC tgies and i pranked Tommy into thinking that tgies had disappeared after a single passenger aircraft incident--so wild the things you do for fun when the entire friend group is structured around being kind of a jackass to each other lol

also reading your very kind things to say about me definitely didn't make me start tearing up or anything

 

[Olga]

no way! tgies and i still talk occasionally on twitter, i need to pop into the IRC chat more often (#animutation will never die i don't think even if #pimi and #gw did). he's a one-of-a-kind dude. i seem to remember one time years and years and years ago in IRC tgies and i pranked Tommy into thinking that tgies had disappeared after a single passenger aircraft incident--so wild the things you do for fun when the entire friend group is structured around being kind of a jackass to each other lol

also reading your very kind things to say about me definitely didn't make me start tearing up or anything

I mean it. It's something I reflect on with increasing frequency. Your Kickstarter pledge actually took me aback, you know? And that was just one small thing. There's just something about every single thing I've ever read written by you, and how you were in person that just... like, hit some sort of... I don't know, appreciation receiver? These moments honestly gave, and continue to give me hope for the future. I so struggle to talk to people, this issue is getting worse, and that you exist makes everything a little better. It's like I know you're out there, doing some sort of love magic, spreading it around wherever you go. As far as I can tell, you're doing well, and I am *so* pleased about that.

Tommy was one of the friendlist people I've ever met. He was unexpectedly expressive, ridiculously kind, just an absurdly lovely man. I stayed with him for a few nights, and literally from the second he opened the door, there wasn't an awkward moment, which is saying a lot for me. He's such a delight and I think he's found people who feel the same way about him. I know he's been through a lot, and maybe that accounts for the astonishing good nature that he gifts people all the time.

tgies was even more amazing in person than I expected, and that's saying a lot (I think it was a known fact that I had a crush on him). "One-of-a-kind" does him no justice as a description. He was always a special person in my life, too, and meeting him made for an unforgettable gift of an experience, and I don't say that lightly.
... also I strongly entertained that rumour about him perishing in an aircraft accident, so kudos to you.

 

[Mark]

Hey, I know you. You’re that one lady. I’m glad you found your way here, definitely one of the oldies I’d be disappointed to not see register. You’d certainly receive a strongly worded message had you not.

 

[Crystal]

Thanks, Crystal. And thanks for setting up this place. It's funny how what we get up to as kids can have such incredible consequences.

Definitely they can, and in this case it's so amazing to get to relive it

Unfortunately the adaptation I was hoping to launch will probably never happen, for a whole bunch of reasons. But the thing I'm working on now has a fighting chance!

Well that's both unfortunate and fantastic, lol. Hopefully the one you're working on goes all the way!

I don't know what to expect with the war. We didn't think it would happen at all, then thought it would be over within less than a week, then that it would surely only be a couple of months. Once it ends, what will follow is a difficult period: so much has been destroyed that Ukraine may never recover, and to some extent that is true of Russia. The first priority is, of course, stopping sudden deaths, but god only knows what the future looks like.

Yeah, absolutely agreed, the biggest thing is to stop the fighting, stop the deaths on both sides. Ukraine is going to need a lot of help to rebuild, they're looking at decades of struggle, it's so sad. Russia, as well, will take a long time to repair and rebuild. So sad for all involved

 

[Nae'blis]

Glad to have you back here!

Hope all your relatives/family members are, under the circumstances, okay!

 

[Boots]

I always thought you and Victoria were so pretty.

I enjoyed reading your update. Glad to hear you're doing well. Sounds like you're a smarty pants.

 

[Olga]

Hey, I know you. You’re that one lady. I’m glad you found your way here, definitely one of the oldies I’d be disappointed to not see register. You’d certainly receive a strongly worded message had you not.

You always know the right thing to say.

Glad to have you back here!

Hope all your relatives/family members are, under the circumstances, okay!

Yeeeeeeesssss. My god, you're such an adult! And yes, my family is fine so far. May this continue. It's caused a lot of strife between many of us, though. War has many types of casualties; but we'll do our best!

I always thought you and Victoria were so pretty.

I enjoyed reading your update. Glad to hear you're doing well. Sounds like you're a smarty pants.

Thanks, that is sweet of you. I'm probably not stupid, but this doesn't seem to do me much good. My ideas and family are all I have; I'm bad with people.
Although I'm 35 and... well, things might turn out OK. If nothing else, it's been interesting. I feel deep despair quite a lot, and this year has been brutal, but I'm diligently trying out several options: today I was added to the waitlist for ketamine-assisted therapy! It'll take about a year to actually get this done, but AFAIK it's extremely effective. I've been introduced to a very experienced and kindly meditator who might help me get to grips with that on a 1:1 basis (rather than muddling my way through videos I quickly lose focus on), so that's pretty cool. I might try EMDR soon, and my project might take off. A lot could happen!

 

[Nae'blis]

Yeeeeeeesssss. My god, you're such an adult! And yes, my family is fine so far. May this continue. It's caused a lot of strife between many of us, though. War has many types of casualties; but we'll do our best!

Oh hell yes, I'm the adultiest damn adult that ever adulted. ...yeah... woo!

 

[Nebulous]

Welcome to GW Forums!

 

[Fool's Requiem]

I have family in Russia and Ukraine

Geez. I can't imagine how that must be unless everyone thinks the war is moronic.

 

[Olga]

Geez. I can't imagine how that must be unless everyone thinks the war is moronic.

Opinions are divided, as are we. Unfortunately things aren’t simple when it comes to how people arrive at their conclusions. The current climate is the product of decades-long efforts by the state, down to the design of education. I can’t even be mad because I can see that it isn’t the fault of the population.

 

[shortkut]

Opinions are divided, as are we. Unfortunately things aren’t simple when it comes to how people arrive at their conclusions. The current climate is the product of decades-long efforts by the state, down to the design of education. I can’t even be mad because I can see that it isn’t the fault of the population.

My in-laws get their news from Russian propaganda YouTube channels

 

[Mark]

Opinions are divided, as are we. Unfortunately things aren’t simple when it comes to how people arrive at their conclusions. The current climate is the product of decades-long efforts by the state, down to the design of education. I can’t even be mad because I can see that it isn’t the fault of the population.

Wow… that sounds eerily familiar to American life, only… people prefer semi-automatic rifles and schools or public settings to air grievances.

It really makes you wonder… is EVERYONE lied to by their government all across the board… or are there countries out there that are “normal” and “functioning”…

I’m the wrong one to have an opinion, I’ve lived within 15 minutes of the hospital I was born at my entire life.

 

[Disgustipated]

So glad to see you here Olga! I remember seeing you around one of the GW Facebook groups or something and thinking I should say hi, but was too shy to do so.

God, I tried SO HARD to get into metal music - because of you! I wanted to be cool! I didn’t manage.

Don't worry, you were and are cool, regardless of your like/dislike of metal!

Wow… that sounds eerily familiar to American life, only… people prefer semi-automatic rifles and schools or public settings to air grievances.

It really makes you wonder… is EVERYONE lied to by their government all across the board… or are there countries out there that are “normal” and “functioning”…

I’m the wrong one to have an opinion, I’ve lived within 15 minutes of the hospital I was born at my entire life.

I mean a lot of the dis/misinformation and division here in the US is ALSO the work of Russian State propaganda lol. There's a good reason that RT always liked to promote Tucker Carlson before he got shitcanned.

 

[Mark]

I mean a lot of the dis/misinformation and division here in the US is ALSO the work of Russian State propaganda lol. There's a good reason that RT always liked to promote Tucker Carlson before he got shitcanned.

It’s just wild to hear a perspective like that being the perpetual local that I am. It reiterates what I said in another post on an unrelated topic… we have more in common than we don’t as humans, and communication is really the only way to learn that.

We can’t leave China out of the propaganda conversation, either… can’t forget about that cagey ass government over there.

 

[Ants!]

I am always super jealous whenever somebody gets to meet you

 

[Disgustipated]

It’s just wild to hear a perspective like that being the perpetual local that I am. It reiterates what I said in another post on an unrelated topic… we have more in common than we don’t as humans, and communication is really the only way to learn that.

We definitely do. I guess I've kind of always felt that way, and I think having lots of non-American friends made through GW was a big part of that.

We can’t leave China out of the propaganda conversation, either… can’t forget about that cagey ass government over there.

Oh for sure. I almost put an "and Chinese" right before State in there lol.

 

[Marlfox]

Really enjoyed your introduction, Olga! Remember you from the old days and interesting to hear about your goings on. Thanks!

 

[ZandraJoi]

@Olga Welcome & Thank you for your story! I can understand how sometimes too much support can be overwhelming.