Verdict How would a giraffe wear a tie?

[Ants!]

*bangs eggplant*

Hey guys, this eggplant is getting red and swollen from all the repeated banging, can anyone assist with rubbing some ointment on it?

Oh the case? Yeah this one comes from @canadaguy and I'm not entirely sure what he meant by it but I'm intrigued.

 

[canadaguy]

 

[Ants!]

 

[canadaguy]

Objection relevance

 

[Quagmire]

View attachment 22307

A

People with long necks still wear them at the same place, at the bottom of their neck

 

[Ants!]

Objection relevance

Overruled.

 

[canadaguy]

Overruled.

Ignored

 

[Ants!]

Ignored

 

[shortkut]

View attachment 22307

Option A

When you wear a tie, it goes at the collar of your shirt, near the collar bone. Anatomically, option A demonstrates this

 

[Quagmire]

Option A

When you wear a tie, it goes at the collar of your shirt, near the collar bone. Anatomically, option A demonstrates this

Also arent part of the reason to wear one is to hide the buttons on the shirt?

 

[canadaguy]

Part 2 how would he wear a bow tie

 

[shortkut]

Part 2 how would he wear a bow tie

Around his neck

 

[canadaguy]

Around his neck

 

[Ants!]

Around his neck

I prefer the Justin Timberlake option.

 

[shortkut]

I prefer the Justin Timberlake option.

 

[Jon]

A because the tie will be affected by gravity.

 

[canadaguy]

A because the tie will be affected by gravity.

His neck is narrower at the head

 

[Jawneh]

kut called it

Case closed.

 

[canadaguy]

Also arent part of the reason to wear one is to hide the buttons on the shirt?

Hes not wearing a shirt

 

[Quagmire]

Hes not wearing a shirt

Why else wear a tie?

 

[canadaguy]

 

[Quagmire]

View attachment 22312

The giraffe isnt wearing a belt

 

[Ants!]

View attachment 22312

Considering this is a giraffe you're talking about, that would need to be one really long tie.

 

[Jon]

His neck is narrower at the head

Yeah and ties have slip knots that will eventually loosen and the giraffe does not have hands to tighten. Eventually it would slide down.

So just wear it at the lowest point

 

[canadaguy]

Considering this is a giraffe you're talking about, that would need to be one really long tie.

I mean look at the picture

 

[VashTheStampede]

It's A because B looks dumb

 

[canadaguy]

It's A because B looks dumb

Finally a smart answer

 

[shortkut]

kut called it

Case closed.

To be fair, that could be posted in every case I’ve argued

 

[VashTheStampede]

I also think that the giraffe's personality plays into the answer

 

[Ants!]

Finally a smart answer

Literally everyone else has already said it?

 

[shortkut]

I also think that the giraffe's personality plays into the answer

Good point. If it were suicidal, it would want it inverted, so option B with the end of the tie secured to a rafter

 

[VashTheStampede]

Literally everyone else has already said it?

But I was pithy

 

[shortkut]

Literally everyone else has already said it?

Only vash gave a smart reason

 

[Quagmire]

Only vash gave a smart reason

It was implied

 

[VashTheStampede]

It was implied

Imagine your lawyer saying that

 

[canadaguy]

But I was pithy

This is why I love you man

 

[Quagmire]

Imagine your lawyer saying that

This is gw, our standards are through the floor

And actually giving a subjective reason like it looks dumb is also not a good lawyer move

 

[VashTheStampede]

 

[Mark]

A

People with long necks still wear them at the same place, at the bottom of their neck

This.

B is the comedic answer only.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Imagine your giraffe lawyer wearing a tie like that

 

[Mark]

Imagine your giraffe lawyer wearing a tie like that

Court would be required to recess in order to make the courtroom accessible per ADA requirements, gotta make that door frame taller.

 

[VashTheStampede]

Oh please let's not act like that lanky motherfucker can't stoop

They drink water

 

[Benzine]

Oh please let's not act like that lanky motherfucker can't stoop

They drink water

you don't funnel water to giraffe height in florida? what a surprise

 

[Mark]

Oh please let's not act like that lanky motherfucker can't stoop

They drink water

That’s like saying a blind person could just feel around. Sure, they could, but, the ADA’s primary purpose is creating equity for those disadvantaged. If a little person is disadvantaged because of their stature prohibiting or hindering their ability to utilize certain amenities, surely a giraffe would fall on the opposite end of the spectrum of disadvantage, no?

The court cannot interview a giraffe lawyer for an impact statement, so we’ll have to go the next best route and have @The Eye in the Sky! explain how daunting low ceilings and doorways can be for the vertically inclined.

 

[VashTheStampede]

That’s like saying a blind person could just feel around. Sure, they could, but, the ADA’s primary purpose is creating equity for those disadvantaged. If a little person is disadvantaged because of their stature prohibiting or hindering their ability to utilize certain amenities, surely a giraffe would fall on the opposite end of the spectrum of disadvantage, no?

Objection, I'm cool with a blind person just feeling around

 

[VashTheStampede]

you don't funnel water to giraffe height in florida? what a surprise

We tell them to go chase waterfalls

 

[Quagmire]

Objection, I'm cool with a blind person just feeling around

But is your wife?

 

[VashTheStampede]

But is your wife?

She says she's cool with it if I'm cool with it

 

[canadaguy]

She says she's cool with it if I'm cool with it

Cool

 

[VashTheStampede]