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Hot Takes

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Cole

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I've been in a shitty mood, and I'm gonna let out some aggression.

tell me about your passions, tell me what makes you smile, tell me what you love.

and then I'm gonna tell you why that makes you a fucking loser.

I don't plan to be gentle.

(editor's note: views expressed herein do not (necessarily) reflect authors actual opinions)
 
Crystal

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I love Penguins and my GWF family. Why am I loser?

I Want It Wow GIF by Pudgy Penguins
 
Cole

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Crystal said:
I love Penguins and my GWF family. Why am I loser?

I Want It Wow GIF by Pudgy Penguins
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I mean the reasons YOU'RE a loser aren't on your list just now.

let's start with your name, Crystal. you could have chosen any name in the world when you transitioned, and you chose the name of an anorexic methed out stripper in some backwoods Detroit "strip club"? come on.

penguins, don't even get me started. penguins, notorious mothers, the one thing as a woman you WONT be able to do.

and as far as your GWF family? you only love us, because the real ones said "no thanks".
 
Cole

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dimmerwit said:
You don't need a hot take, you can just remember how shit I always was at CS.

(if you even remember lol)
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my guy, I barely remember YOU let alone you playing CS with us.

but let's be honest, with the exception of maybe 3 of us, everyone from GW fucking sucked at CS anyway.

you though, you're so generic I don't remember which British middle of the line member you really are. I mean, in thinking about it, I'm not even sure if you're British.
 
Crystal

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Cole said:
I mean the reasons YOU'RE a loser aren't on your list just now.
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Oh this I know. There are a great many reasons why I'm a loser.
Cole said:
let's start with your name, Crystal. you could have chosen any name in the world when you transitioned, and you chose the name of an anorexic methed out stripper in some backwoods Detroit "strip club"? come on.
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I needed something that said it all -- aging, loser, nerd, no skills, no job prospects, no future. Behold! Crystal is born! The Sloth of the trans stripper world! Hey you guys! ;)
Cole said:
penguins, don't even get me started. penguins, notorious mothers, the one thing as a woman you WONT be able to do.
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'tis true. My invisible womb shall forever be barren, and my birth defect is beyond reprisal for its' original possibilities. No kids from this monster.
Cole said:
and as far as your GWF family? you only love us, because the real ones said "no thanks".
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Accurate.
 
Cole

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shortkut said:
I’ll help

I love pizza
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no the fuck you DO NOT. you love greasy, slightly *leavened* matzah with too much sauce and a dab of cheese on it.

mother fucker you blew up my phone for 3 hours straight because I told you Chicago pizza is better than New York pizza. I havent seen someone take something insignificant so seriously since I made it my lifes mission to take down PIMI. or since you made your entire internet personality the fact that you spell your own fucking name incorrectly. "It's a Jew thing" bro it literally isn't, one of my best friends is Eric with a C and his family was ULTRA Jewish.

do me a favor, next time you go to grab a "slice", and boy do I use THAT term loosely, eat it while you're reading a baby naming book, you illiterate squid.
 
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Cole said:
no the fuck you DO NOT. you love greasy, slightly *leavened* matzah with too much sauce and a dab of cheese on it.

mother fucker you blew up my phone for 3 hours straight because I told you Chicago pizza is better than New York pizza. I havent seen someone take something insignificant so seriously since I made it my lifes mission to take down PIMI. or since you made your entire internet personality the fact that you spell your own fucking name incorrectly. "It's a Jew thing" bro it literally isn't, one of my best friends is Eric with a C and his family was ULTRA Jewish.

do me a favor, next time you go to grab a "slice", and boy do I use THAT term loosely, eat it while you're reading a baby naming book, you illiterate squid.
Click to expand...
Bugs Bunny GIF
 
Cole

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Jon said:
I love you. But you don't even give me the time of day. I'm a jilted lover.
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look man, I'm not going to lie to you, it's not me, it's you.

I had just SO MANY sycophantic followers they all kind of blur together at this point. did you enjoy my tdome banter? were you in the GWPS? or maybe I just made you laugh that time I did (insert something here).

Vash told me earlier he wanted to say "I love my friend Coleman" just to see if I'd roast myself, and like, for him? I totally would have. I mean I am SO immensely roastable.

but for YOU, Jim? I mean this from the bottom of my heart

1722010961240.png
 
Jon

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Cole said:
look man, I'm not going to lie to you, it's not me, it's you.

I had just SO MANY sycophantic followers they all kind of blur together at this point. did you enjoy my tdome banter? were you in the GWPS? or maybe I just made you laugh that time I did (insert something here).

Vash told me earlier he wanted to say "I love my friend Coleman" just to see if I'd roast myself, and like, for him? I totally would have. I mean I am SO immensely roastable.

but for YOU, Jim? I mean this from the bottom of my heart

View attachment 18636
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It was because you're from NE. That's why I always liked you.

I will always love you even if you don't know me!
 
Cole

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The Eye in the Sky! said:
Do me! My wife won't!
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oh, Thomas. love of my life, light of my heart.

where do I even begin?

so for one, for some one only 6 foot 6 inches tall, you'd think your penis would be easier to find. but no, NASA had to retire Hubble and send out James Webb just to have a chance at finding what you lovingly refer to as the "negative 6 foot 6 inch monster".

what's next.

hot pink pants that you wore at every possible occasion?

also, your rapid descent from straight edge nerd to full blown alcoholic in like a week and a half was nothing short of impressive.
 
Cole

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Ants! said:
I took that selfie just for this post.
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are you sure? are you sure it wasn't you being bad at peeling hard boiled eggs so you found the wrinkliest one and attached your pubes to it?

also, I know everyone for some reason makes sexual oriented jokes about you, I have no idea what it's about, it's pretty clear that you have less romantic desirability than a lamp post but I'm still gonna give you a big tip to help your sexual proclivities in the future.

skip the hand jobs.

skip the blow job.

and please for the love of god just get a nose job.
 
Cole

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hey also, if you could all stop being fucking pussies and someone gimme what you got, I'll feel like a lot less of an asshole for roasting you nerds.

come on, think back to 20 fucking years of GameWinners and all the shit I put you all through.

in the wise words of famous philosopher Albert Einstein

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
 
shortkut

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Cole said:
hey also, if you could all stop being fucking pussies and someone gimme what you got, I'll feel like a lot less of an asshole for roasting you nerds.

come on, think back to 20 fucking years of GameWinners and all the shit I put you all through.

in the wise words of famous philosopher Albert Einstein

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
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You’re a meanie-poo who got me de-smodded and I don’t know why
 
Ants!

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Cole said:
hey also, if you could all stop being fucking pussies and someone gimme what you got, I'll feel like a lot less of an asshole for roasting you nerds.

come on, think back to 20 fucking years of GameWinners and all the shit I put you all through.

in the wise words of famous philosopher Albert Einstein

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
Click to expand...
IMG_8607.jpeg
 
Jawneh

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You know what I'm passionate about? My enjoyment of pineapple on pizza.

Beyond that, I'm pretty happy about being above average in everything I do. Even if only slightly above average.
 
Cole

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Jawneh said:
You know what I'm passionate about? My enjoyment of pineapple on pizza.

Beyond that, I'm pretty happy about being above average in everything I do. Even if only slightly above average.
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look, I am not one of the other weirdos, I don't give a shit what type of food makes you happy. you wanna sprinkle your spouses butthole with some Himalayan sea salt before you go to town, you be my fucking guest.

but as far as your second statement?

I can prove to you it's fucking bullshit.

and to do so, all you have to do is look at your historical GameWinners membership, not only are you not above average, you're so far BELOW average there that you make @Ben look like a middle of the road GW member.

you're not a Jack of all Trades and master of none, you're a Jack of hearts when you were looking for a spade flush.

take it down a notch.
 
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Cole

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Ants! said:
I tried to find a filter that would turn my face pink but I couldn't find one. You're a photoshop wizard though, Zoidberg it up if you think you're man enough!
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guess you don't want my 5 dollars. that could've at least bought you a beard trim from a guy named Uncle Touchy in a NYC ally.
 
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