Choose any superpower, but the first person to reply gets to choose a side effect.

[Duke Nukem]

Let's play.
I pick the ability to enter, manipulate and control people's dreams when they're sleeping.

 

[Boots]

Side effect:
Your ears fall off

Ability:
Can morph in and out of walls

 

[Duke Nukem]

Side effect:
It's constantly active, making you unable to interfere with physical objects without morphing into them.

Ability:
Can change gender at will.

 

[the_promised_land]

Side effect: you have to stay that gender for a week

Ability: teleportation!

 

[Duke Nukem]

Side effect: only your body teleports, so whatever location you teleport to, you end up completely naked and your clothes stay where you teleported from.

Ability: omniscience

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Side Effect: You don't know what that word means and therefore can't figure out how to use the power.

Power: Invisibility.

Edit: I looked up omniscience after posting this, and I laughed my ass off.

 

[Cole]

Side Effect: You don't know what that word means and therefore can't figure out how to use the power.

Power: Invisibility.

Edit: I looked up omniscience after posting this, and I laughed my ass off.

okay. you can only turn invisible when you are alone.

I'll take: every time I stub my toe, I find 10 dollars on the ground.

 

[Nebulous]

Side effect: its $10 in monopoly money

Power: I am fire proof

 

[Cole]

Side effect: its $10 in monopoly money

Power: I am fire proof

you're fire proof becsuse your body is made of water, and therefore have no bones.

I can write backwards quickly and legibly.

 

[Nebulous]

Side effect: you can only write on an etch a sketch that never stops shaking.

Power: I am immortal

 

[Cole]

Side effect: you can only write on an etch a sketch that never stops shaking.

Power: I am immortal

I was going to stop for now but this is always my favorite one.

Okay, you're immortal; but you also don't have a way to end your life. Which means you get to live through the whole of infinity, the heat death of the universe, physics collapsing, the universe collapsing all until you're alone in a nameless, faceless, timeless, physicsless void.

I, however, can remove my fingernails at will.

 

[Boots]

Side effect:
You compulsively eat your own finger nails like croutons on a salad.

Ability:
Ultrasonic hearing

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Side Effect: Tinnitus

Ability: You aren't affected by temperature (hot or cold). Basically: It always feels like it's 72 °F/22 °C.

 

[Crystal]

Side effect: you cannot stop sweating

Ability: Never have to go to the bathroom ever again.

 

[Cole]

Side effect: you cannot stop sweating

Ability: Never have to go to the bathroom ever again.

because you just piss and shit wherever you are. (choose your words more carefully )

every time i go to a fair or carnival, I can perfectly guess the amount of jelly beans in the jar on the first try.

 

[Crystal]

Side effect: You're unable to vocalize or write down the number

Ability: Impervious to all disease

 

[Cole]

Side effect: You're unable to vocalize or write down the number

Ability: Impervious to all disease

brand new disease, not immune.

but I, however, can make every person I touch immediately orgasm.

 

[Crystal]

But you will never, ever orgasm yourself.

Ability: Read anyone's thoughts instantly

 

[Duke Nukem]

Side effect: unable to read your own

Ability:
Can slow down and even stop time without being affected by it myself

 

[Cole]

whenever time is slowed or stopped, you age at a rate of 10 to 1 as a result of the disruption of the space time continuum.

but me, you ask? I am able to charge my phone by just having it in my hands.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Side effect: this is your phone


Ability:
Can travel between dimensions

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Side Effect: You turn into weak animal when you move to anything but your home dimension.

Power: You can kill a yak from 500 yards away with mind bullets.

 

[Cole]

Side Effect: You turn into weak animal when you move to anything but your home dimension.

Power: You can kill a yak from 500 yards away with mind bullets.

every time you kill a yak, a golf ball is pushed out of your penis.

but little known fact, I can absorb all the information in a book by methodically reading every page.

 

[Nae'blis]

every time you kill a yak, a golf ball is pushed out of your penis.

but little known fact, I can absorb all the information in a book by methodically reading every page.

Side effect: You're blind.

My power: To always cook the right amount of pasta for the occasion.

 

[Cole]

Side effect: You're blind.

My power: To always cook the right amount of pasta for the occasion.

every one you're serving has a severe gluten allergy.

I can diagnose medical issues by smelling someone's hair.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Side Effect: You have to smell someone's hair to use the power.

Ability: You have the ability to talk your way out of any argument as the winner.

 

[Cole]

Side Effect: You have to smell someone's hair to use the power.

Ability: You have the ability to talk your way out of any argument as the winner.

they're internet arguments though, so it never actually matters.

I can turn up the volume on the TV with my mind.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

Side Effect: You can't turn it down.

Ability: Anything you wish to happen, happens at the snap of your fingers.

 

[Holly]

Side effect: Each time you snap you lose a finger.

Ability: You can see one minute into the future.

 

[Tirith]

Side effect: you forget what happened more than a minute ago.

Ability: invisibility

 

[Holly]

Side effect: You can turn anyone invisible except yourself.

Ability: You can read inhumanly fast.

 

[Cole]

Side effect: You can turn anyone invisible except yourself.

Ability: You can read inhumanly fast.

or you could anyway, if you could read.

my bottle of water is always the PERFECT temperature

 

[Tirith]

or you could anyway, if you could read.

my bottle of water is always the PERFECT temperature

The water is slightly acidic

My car never breaks down

 

[shortkut]

The water is slightly acidic

My car never breaks down

But it never starts up

You can jump >20 feet

 

[Cole]

But it never starts up

You can jump >20 feet

but only down.

(given this is my current problem) my band aids NEVER roll or peel no matter where they are on my body until I wantthemn off

 

[Crystal]

but only down.

(given this is my current problem) my band aids NEVER roll or peel no matter where they are on my body until I wantthemn off

They stink of 10 year old socks

Wherever you go, the fuel always costs $.50/gal just for you.

 

[Cole]

you can only buy one gallon a week.

my clothes never need to be washed

 

[Boots]

You live in a jungle. Total human inhabitants: 1

I can burn through metal with my eyes

 

[shortkut]

You live in a jungle. Total human inhabitants: 1

I can burn through metal with my eyes

Though your eyes have to be in physical contact with the metal for this to occur

i can do math in my head instantly

 

[Nae'blis]

Every time you do it your head shrinks

The power to create food from nothing

 

[Gloom-is-good]

Every time you do it your head shrinks

The power to create food from nothing

Whatever you create always has hair in it

The ability to control metal objects at will

 

[shortkut]

Whatever you create always has hair in it

The ability to control metal objects at will

The only metal you can control are paper clips

The ability to get a full night’s rest in an hour

 

[Cole]

The only metal you can control are paper clips

The ability to get a full night’s rest in an hour

it's only an hour in your dream, in the real world it's 10 hours.

rain doesn't fall wherever I'm standing

 

[shortkut]

it's only an hour in your dream, in the real world it's 10 hours.

rain doesn't fall wherever I'm standing

Lightning, however, does

Teeth never get cavities

 

[Gloom-is-good]

Lightning, however, does

Teeth never get cavities

They're baby teeth

Ability to purchase the right amount of produce to use before it goes bad

 

[shortkut]

They're baby teeth

Ability to purchase the right amount of produce to use before it goes bad

Only for other people

Ability to always set the thermostat to the correct temperature

 

[Cole]

it's the correct temperature for a grouchy 78 year old Jewish grandfather that's always cold.

I don't sweat.

 

[Gloom-is-good]

it's the correct temperature for a grouchy 78 year old Jewish grandfather that's always cold.

I don't sweat.

You drool instead.

Ability to navigate anywhere without maps/directions.

 

[Crystal]

You can only go by the most indirect route possible.

Ability to summon birds anytime to your defense.

 

[Smacktard]

Ability to summon birds anytime to your defense.

Those birds are exclusively humming birds.

Gift of speech that allows you to convince anyone to do anything.