A proper greeting

[Raine]

Howdy, y'all. Figured I'd keep the handle nice and simple.

Been a bit of a ghost in the gaming-side stuff off and on since 2002. Ended up becoming a workhorse joining the moderation team towards the end of '02, start of '03. Expanded the number of haunts somewhat after that, but rarely ventured into the IRL/non-gaming mainstays. So I know (of) most, if not all, of you. But that may not be the case in reverse. It's a small community and Google probably isn't trawling the place just yet, so, let's rectify that a little. And then I'll get paranoid in a couple months and nuke the whole post!

I'm Raine, a 40(-ish) year old, broken, perpetually-grumpy trans woman with a penchant for making long posts nobody has the time to read. Myself included! I'm fascinated by puzzles, love breaking things down to figure out how they work (game mechanics, electronics, whatever) and tend to approach subjects in a very specific, if not outright methodical, manner that many find... fucking obnoxious. I apologize in advance. For the sake of activity I might wander around a little more here than usual, see if we can't give people some extra meat and all that, but generally I'll probably just do what I've always done.

 

[Crystal]

I never caught on that you were a fellow trans woman, my apologies for that!! It's great to see you here, Raine, I'm always available if you ever fancy a chat and of course you've got me on Discord, as well

It's so nice to see the old names back on a forum again, this has made me so happy these past couple of days. Join in, kick your feet up, have fun

 

[Spiner202]

Welcome! Glad to have another familiar name aboard!

 

[Mark]

Little late, but I remember your old username. I couldn’t tell you if we frequented the same forums or not, but I remember the WarpBahamut username for what it’s worth.

Unlike @Crystal, I don’t know shit about trans people, but I tend to ramble enough to give you a run for your money if you couldn’t tell by now.

 

[Crystal]

Unlike @Crystal, I don’t know shit about trans people, but I tend to ramble enough to give you a run for your money if you couldn’t tell by now.

On that subject, if you're curious about anything or just want to know what's what, just ask. I'm a pretty open book about everything these days. Probably do that in another thread, lol, but yeah, if you want to know anything, I don't mind answering

 

[Mark]

On that subject, if you're curious about anything or just want to know what's what, just ask. I'm a pretty open book about everything these days. Probably do that in another thread, lol, but yeah, if you want to know anything, I don't mind answering

Maybe I worded that wrong… y’all aren’t some alien species to me or anything that y’all are used to dealing with from your average straight white dude, but I think the folks that I know are from the older generation when there were fewer letters and it didn’t look so much like a session hash (you know you like that play on topics, c’mon now). All of this new shit is confusing to me, I’m not gonna lie. Trans people are simple to understand. My confusion lies with the folks that even the trans people side-eye and say “okay, y’all are just fucking with me, right?” I got love for any decent person out there, and I don’t mean “decent” in the sense of sexual identity or gender preference or whatever PC term we’re using this week. I mean “decent” people in the sense of treating people the way they want to be treated. What someone does in the privacy of their own home or with their own lives is none of my business, but I think we can agree on the fact that some folks just go overboard in an effort to pigeonhole themselves or be unique… resulting in shit like “uh… excuse me, please refer to me as Xer/Xim” or those that dive headfirst into the “they” thing until they sound like they’re exclusively referring to themselves in the third person breaking language and grammar. Don’t get me wrong… I’m clearly not a grammar snob, but in all seriousness… that whole thing is complicated. It’s no wonder people innocently end up being called bigots or phobics, it’s a lot to figure out if you’re living life as a straight white dude. However, on the same hand… I also know it HAS to be a lot to unpack and figure out when you don’t feel “right” or “comfortable” in the body you’re born in, and I can respect that level of difficulty despite never experiencing it myself.

Bottom line? Makes no difference to me. Talking to you now is no different than talking to you back in the day when we were both teenage boys being nerds about games. If anything, I hope that the journey you’ve gone through has led to you being a happier version of yourself. That’s all we want in our lives after going through shit life throws at us… just to be better off than we were.

 

[Crystal]

Maybe I worded that wrong… y’all aren’t some alien species to me or anything that y’all are used to dealing with from your average straight white dude, but I think the folks that I know are from the older generation when there were fewer letters and it didn’t look so much like a session hash (you know you like that play on topics, c’mon now). All of this new shit is confusing to me, I’m not gonna lie. Trans people are simple to understand. My confusion lies with the folks that even the trans people side-eye and say “okay, y’all are just fucking with me, right?” I got love for any decent person out there, and I don’t mean “decent” in the sense of sexual identity or gender preference or whatever PC term we’re using this week. I mean “decent” people in the sense of treating people the way they want to be treated. What someone does in the privacy of their own home or with their own lives is none of my business, but I think we can agree on the fact that some folks just go overboard in an effort to pigeonhole themselves or be unique… resulting in shit like “uh… excuse me, please refer to me as Xer/Xim” or those that dive headfirst into the “they” thing until they sound like they’re exclusively referring to themselves in the third person breaking language and grammar. Don’t get me wrong… I’m clearly not a grammar snob, but in all seriousness… that whole thing is complicated. It’s no wonder people innocently end up being called bigots or phobics, it’s a lot to figure out if you’re living life as a straight white dude. However, on the same hand… I also know it HAS to be a lot to unpack and figure out when you don’t feel “right” or “comfortable” in the body you’re born in, and I can respect that level of difficulty despite never experiencing it myself.

Bottom line? Makes no difference to me. Talking to you now is no different than talking to you back in the day when we were both teenage boys being nerds about games. If anything, I hope that the journey you’ve gone through has led to you being a happier version of yourself. That’s all we want in our lives after going through shit life throws at us… just to be better off than we were.

Yeah, that's understandable, there is so much to things now that I've definitely lost track. I know what and who I am, but some I just don't understand. I want people to be themselves and be happy, but it does feel as though there are times where people are just attempting to be something for the sake of being something. It's hard to fathom. I've known who I was my whole life, just been too scared to pursue it until later in life, but if someone walked up to me and asked how to know if they were trans, and should they pursue it I'd scream at them no. I wouldn't wish being trans on anyone, and I wouldn't advise anyone to undergone transitioning unless they know, for sure, this is what they want. The reality is most of us that are trans don't WANT to be trans, we just are. But picking a letter from the alphabet and associating that with yourself because you want to be part of what has been turned into more of a trend than a legitimate struggle anymore...that's wrong.

 

[Mark]

Yeah, that's understandable, there is so much to things now that I've definitely lost track. I know what and who I am, but some I just don't understand. I want people to be themselves and be happy, but it does feel as though there are times where people are just attempting to be something for the sake of being something. It's hard to fathom. I've known who I was my whole life, just been too scared to pursue it until later in life, but if someone walked up to me and asked how to know if they were trans, and should they pursue it I'd scream at them no. I wouldn't wish being trans on anyone, and I wouldn't advise anyone to undergone transitioning unless they know, for sure, this is what they want. The reality is most of us that are trans don't WANT to be trans, we just are. But picking a letter from the alphabet and associating that with yourself because you want to be part of what has been turned into more of a trend than a legitimate struggle anymore...that's wrong.

It’s very reminiscent of the bisexual girl trend back when Girls Gone Wild and all that shit was at its peak. Suddenly, every girl you knew was making out with girls and putting on a show. Meanwhile, there are chicks out there getting disowned by the families and kicked out of their homes because they were fired from their job because she loves a woman, and there they were claiming to be bi because dudes like that shit and it got them attention. It’s not “cute” to ride on the coattails of something not knowing the struggles that group endures.

Myself, personally, I see it as appropriation and as disrespectful to trans folks as an outright bigot or transphobic person when someone goes to that extreme to even alienate themselves from the community they would already feel accepted in. I don’t have to deal with not feeling accepted by people different from me, though, none of the gay or trans people I know treat me some kinda way because I’m just a regular ol’ run of the mill straight white dude. Why? Because I make it a point to treat everyone with dignity and respect the way I want to be treated. Unless… of course… I’m just fucking around giving someone shit.

 

[Crystal]

Oh definitely! The way people would just put on the act to be cool or part of the crowd was despicable. Those who got disowned, fired, in trouble or otherwise had issues just for being themselves had to find it such an awful portrayal of the community at that time. It's kind of the same now, of course.

Yeah, that's how it should be -- treat everyone with respect and dignity and leave the rest alone.

 

[Raine]

Little late, but I remember your old username. I couldn’t tell you if we frequented the same forums or not, but I remember the WarpBahamut username for what it’s worth.

Yeah, I honestly couldn't say at this point either. You were still a constant fixture when I was all fresh-faced and shit, so I definitely saw you around a lot. Where, exactly? Beats me!

What someone does in the privacy of their own home or with their own lives is none of my business, but I think we can agree on the fact that some folks just go overboard in an effort to pigeonhole themselves or be unique… resulting in shit like “uh… excuse me, please refer to me as Xer/Xim” or those that dive headfirst into the “they” thing until they sound like they’re exclusively referring to themselves in the third person breaking language and grammar.

It's a combination of factors, too. One of those nuclear hot takes I mentioned in the other thread that I'll eventually get back around to reading and responding to? The education system and how we go about teaching - broadly, but especially in the USA - is a fucking disgrace of an absolutely insane magnitude. The "celestial" stuff is kind of out there, yes, but all of it is functionally a byproduct of the English language being unnecessarily rigid and, in many cases, simply too archaic for modern society. Over time we'll find better ways to incorporate these ideas and concepts, and further along than that even we'll begin teaching, but until then it's the wild west. See also: LatinX instead of Latino (which people mean well by, but which rubs many people the wrong way).

But right now, with stuff like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill, we're actually moving backward. Young people trying to find their place in the world, with nearly zero input or guidance from adults, have to seek out like-minded individuals. Have to experiment. For me, a celestial is just a current day equivalent of something like a scene girl. That very awkward space between emo and goth that was very briefly all the rage. ...Which I still remember vividly because, had I been born cis, there's an extraordinarily high likelihood that I would've been part of that. And the internet would host my cringe for all of eternity with all those other poor kids.

Generally, I'm accepting of everyone and willing to meet them wherever they are. And so long as they approach in good faith, we'll get along. We gotta start rooting around in actual fetishes before I start pumping the brakes lol.

Yeah, that's understandable, there is so much to things now that I've definitely lost track. I know what and who I am, but some I just don't understand. I want people to be themselves and be happy, but it does feel as though there are times where people are just attempting to be something for the sake of being something. It's hard to fathom.

Mmhm. Plus there's a lot of intentional FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) on the internet with the express purpose of undermining everyone, and plenty of those aforementioned young people trying to find and/or understand themselves that get sucked in. Whom then get plastered around on reactionary spaces to, again, ridicule them and leverage their earnestness to harm others when they inevitably say something... misguided.

If you look at the common letters - LGBTQIA - those are all really simple to understand. Maybe a little redundant at first glance, but if you start breaking it down then it becomes easier to understand and accept the distinction. Like the most topical here would be the T (trans) and the I (intersex) - surface-level evaluation, "those are the same thing right?" But, it's the method or order of classification. Intersex would catch folk that are born with both genitalia (hermaphrodites), for the most obvious example, whereas trans is specifically moving from one binary to the other - or from one binary to neither, in the case of Enby/NB/non-binary.

 

[Mark]

Yeah, I honestly couldn't say at this point either. You were still a constant fixture when I was all fresh-faced and shit, so I definitely saw you around a lot. Where, exactly? Beats me!

I did a bunch of forum-wide announcements, announcement threads, and forum level interactions with members over the years… so I was a bit more visible than I like to be in real life, that’s for sure, and unfortunately… having so many interactions over that time… I simply can’t remember everyone. It’s only the ones that I knew for years and years that stick with me.

It's a combination of factors, too. One of those nuclear hot takes I mentioned in the other thread that I'll eventually get back around to reading and responding to? The education system and how we go about teaching - broadly, but especially in the USA - is a fucking disgrace of an absolutely insane magnitude. The "celestial" stuff is kind of out there, yes, but all of it is functionally a byproduct of the English language being unnecessarily rigid and, in many cases, simply too archaic for modern society. Over time we'll find better ways to incorporate these ideas and concepts, and further along than that even we'll begin teaching, but until then it's the wild west. See also: LatinX instead of Latino (which people mean well by, but which rubs many people the wrong way).

Don’t even get me started on the education system these days… HAVE YOU SEEN HOW THEY TEACH MATH? That’s a whole different discussion there, but I am in complete agreement that the ENTIRE education system, from pre-k to college, need to be torn down from the ground up and rebuilt. The public school system is the average American city is absolutely disgusting.

But right now, with stuff like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill, we're actually moving backward. Young people trying to find their place in the world, with nearly zero input or guidance from adults, have to seek out like-minded individuals. Have to experiment. For me, a celestial is just a current day equivalent of something like a scene girl. That very awkward space between emo and goth that was very briefly all the rage. ...Which I still remember vividly because, had I been born cis, there's an extraordinarily high likelihood that I would've been part of that. And the internet would host my cringe for all of eternity with all those other poor kids.

Florida is ridiculous. If they focused that same amount of attention of sex trafficking, they’d help far more kids than they would be banning books in schools and restricting phrases and words.

Generally, I'm accepting of everyone and willing to meet them wherever they are. And so long as they approach in good faith, we'll get along. We gotta start rooting around in actual fetishes before I start pumping the brakes lol.

That’s how EVERYONE should be, and that’s the number one problem we face in today’s world… everybody wants to tell everyone else how to live, but they don’t want to look in the mirror and reflect on how they’re living.

Mmhm. Plus there's a lot of intentional FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) on the internet with the express purpose of undermining everyone, and plenty of those aforementioned young people trying to find and/or understand themselves that get sucked in. Whom then get plastered around on reactionary spaces to, again, ridicule them and leverage their earnestness to harm others when they inevitably say something... misguided.

That’s a problem in every facet of life, though. Exploitation. Parading a confused child around, a potentially gay child, or whatever other example you want to use is exploitive. I think the same of those people as the ones who dress toddlers up in makeup and two piece bikinis. I think the same of those people who indoctrinate ANY child with ANY ideology or lifestyle that they’re too young to fully comprehend. Exploitation isn’t just some kid coming out as gay, walking it back a few years later when he hits puberty and realizes he likes girls, and then being paraded around by his Christian family as saved by the good lord. It happens on “your” side, on “my” side, and on every side in between… and it’s fucking sad, dude. Kids shouldn’t have to grow up like this because adults wanna act like idiots.

If you look at the common letters - LGBTQIA - those are all really simple to understand. Maybe a little redundant at first glance, but if you start breaking it down then it becomes easier to understand and accept the distinction. Like the most topical here would be the T (trans) and the I (intersex) - surface-level evaluation, "those are the same thing right?" But, it's the method or order of classification. Intersex would catch folk that are born with both genitalia (hermaphrodites), for the most obvious example, whereas trans is specifically moving from one binary to the other - or from one binary to neither, in the case of Enby/NB/non-binary.

See, all of that is easy as hell to understand. The ones I can’t wrap my head around are the ones that show up one day with words like pandemiomnipseudosexual and expect the rest of us (yourself included) to understand what the fuck they’re even talking about out of the gate, and if we don’t… we’re a bigot. One of my gay friends got into a HEATED debate on Facebook the other day over something similar… a former partner came out as polyamorous and a laundry list of other words, and he was like “no, dude, you’re just easy” and one thing led to another. I may be mistaken, but even with the limited access I have to that community (6-7 friends in total) I’ve noticed a major rift in recent years between the old school and new school… I’ve NEVER heard them be this critical of specific demographics within the community before, it was kinda surprising at first… but the more I listened, the more it made sense.

 

[Raine]

Don’t even get me started on the education system these days… HAVE YOU SEEN HOW THEY TEACH MATH? That’s a whole different discussion there, but I am in complete agreement that the ENTIRE education system, from pre-k to college, need to be torn down from the ground up and rebuilt. The public school system is the average American city is absolutely disgusting.

Haha, yes. I have a niece and a nephew, and everyone was flipping shit with the decomposing method. Like, I understand the concept of what they're aiming to do, or more likely started aiming to do before everything went to hell in a hand-basket, but I almost never showed my math in school. Wrote it out on a piece of scratch paper if necessary, jotted down the answer, tossed the notes when done. I'm still pretty okay with the number language! And I'll still use the calculator on my phone 99% of the time because I'm lazy and it's right there!

Getting concepts like spacial awareness and critical thinking into the minds of kids early is absolutely necessary. This... may not be the best way to do that, guys.

Florida is ridiculous. If they focused that same amount of attention of sex trafficking, they’d help far more kids than they would be banning books in schools and restricting phrases and words.

I do love that all this dumbassery has knocked on enough to have gotten the Bible (temporarily) banned in a Utah school district. Who'da thunk there was some fucked up stuff in there! Maybe they should've read it at some point.

But yeah, I don't get it. Mostly I don't get why the common person gets so caught up in the culture war bullshit. Like, fuck, do these people not have their own lives to live? Are they so bored and have so much free time that they can jump between 73 1/2 different topics to get upset about per week? I'm legitimately exhausted hauling my broken carcass out of bed and into work most days, the last thing I want to do is onboard other people's grievances. I ain't in the business of changing minds though, and can't imagine I'd get paid very much for that even if I was, so the hell do I know.

Kids shouldn’t have to grow up like this because adults wanna act like idiots.

That's about the size of it. People underestimate kids and don't listen to them nearly enough, either. They're not always stupid.

I knew something was different/not right by the age of 7, but I didn't have any remote concept of why. By the age of 16, not exclusively because of that but certainly not helped by it, I was so twisted up, angry and routinely violent that it's a miracle in and of itself that I'm alive or not in prison. Was in therapy and counseling for over fifteen years, saw behaviorist specialists, got put on medication after medication. Never once did words like "transgender" or "autism" come up. I mean hell for that matter no one bothered to comment on how far down the toxic masculinity rabbit hole I ended up falling during my teens, let alone try to counter it. Fixing all those messes took a lot of time on the internet and even more with self-reflection.

Just knowing that something is possible, that the concept exists, isn't going hurt kids. I don't think being ignorant of/on a subject has ever actually been beneficial, and being educated by competent professionals might actually help others from being hurt (which circles back to the education system sucking, but...). Yet, some of these dumb motherfuckers are still going on about their gay frogs and attack helicopters a decade later.

a former partner came out as polyamorous and a laundry list of other words, and he was like “no, dude, you’re just easy” and one thing led to another.

Knew exactly which button to push for a reaction there! Poly's become a pretty heated topic lately. Absolutely not for me, though I'm not necessarily into the standard marriage dynamic/hooplah either. I'm pretty sure positive my partner would actually murder me if I suggested we bring another person into the mix.

Sexualities are something I've never bothered to become well-versed in myself, so I understand. A lot of them at face-value seem to be subsets/denominations of others at best. Like, I don't know the name of it and don't feel like Googling at the moment, but there's one wherein a person can only become attracted to/by people they have feelings and relationships with. And like... okay... I understand where they're coming from, but does "Bisexual and doesn't put out on the first date" need an exact label? I mean I guess if you're on a dating site or something. I don't know. I'm definitely too old for all that effort.

 

[Nebulous]

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